Sunday, July 02, 2017

4 years?! Older, Wiser, Happier :)

I think I'm going to use this space again, to ramble health (size/shape/diet/mental kindness/body feelings) thoughts at.

I thought about doing a 'catch up' but I've no clue where I'd start.

Big changes would be that last July I gave birth again - our fifth baby turns 1 in 3 weeks.

I've worked hard on my mental health/body issues. I refuse to follow a diet plan which wants me to believe I'm 'good' if losing/scale can measure my worth etc. (I'm not saying they're crap for everyone - just for this ED grrrl, a decade of weightwatchers was AWFUL.)

I shot up to 18 stone (252lbs) and stayed there for a couple years. Beginning of 2015 I'd found a good mental space where I felt 'worthy' as I was. By spring I began eating more mindfully and weight started to go down. Then we moved out of the flat in Sept/Oct and by Nov I discovered Solbaby was on the way.

I began my pregnancy at 245lbs and continued eating carefully, looking after my body, pacing activities and maintaining routines and self care. It was not an easy pregnancy in that while I felt great and baby grew happily, blood antibodies meant we had lots of intervention and I had to work through leftover birth trauma and ptsd to come through the vbac induction that became necessary.
Nevertheless, we did. Last July at term I weighed 252, a gain of 7lbs, for an 8lb baby. Pretty chuffed!

I chose to give myself the fourth trimester to just indulge my desire to lose myself in new motherhood, in a way that circumstances meant I never could with the others. I dropped about 20lbs in the first 6 weeks, and then maintained.  Breastfeeding meant that my weight was stable at around 16.5stone (230lbs) as long as I listened to my body and ate well.

 Sol turned 9 months in April and I started to feel the itch to focus back on my health a bit. I've used Exante shakes to get breakfast in, and tracked what I'm eating using mfp.
As of June I've gone back to vegetarianism, I've been on prescription vitamin D for 3 months, I'm maintaining my self care routines and have joined a local gym with the aim of attending yoga twice weekly and swimming twice weekly (and maybe if baby allows, to revisit the weights!)

I currently weigh just over 14 stone (198lb) and am loosely aiming to reach 12 stone for my birthday end of September.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Still over 200lbs, but not by much

This week started off a bit dodgy, over a busy weekend and careful eating (and a bit of sickness!) I've pulled a 1.2lb loss though, whoop.

previous weight - 202.6 BMI 34.8
current weight - 201.4 BMI 34.6
Loss - 1.2lb
% loss - 0.49%

Easier/less busy week ahead now, looking forward to really getting this weight shifted. 

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

7lbs less.

Had a good week, not perfect, but good.

previous weight - 209.6 BMI 36
current weight - 202.6 BMI 34.8
Loss - 7lb
% loss - 3.34%

Feels good to be back out of 'severely obese' - just 28lbs to get me back out of obesity at all. Would like to manage it for my anniversary. Need to run more to get there. ;)

Life seems really busy right now, which is fine, but means I'm often left trying to scrape myself back together to get up and do the next thing. Looking forward to the summer hols and a chance to catch up with myself a bit.

Sam's sister had her baby last week, went to visit the next day and met my gorgeous niece ^_^ 

Other than that we had a day out at Richmond park seeing deer and climbing fallen trees, went to the zoo, went to the local fete, went to Tulleys farm to see Rachael and saw Seth invested at cubs. 

Tonight is jake dog's final puppy class, where he will (hopefully) graduate, and I will be able to switch to a more local training club to continue his bronze award thing.

I have go ape, Rachael's birthday scavenger hunt and color run this week. Much excitement. Need to clear space on my phone for pics!

Monday, July 01, 2013

Holy fudge..

209.6 o_0

That's AWFUL. 40lbs on since March. seriously. Terrible.

Have used mfp to track my calories today. Am sticking with it, it's free, it's easy. Weightwatchers plan works, but I was in the habit of using the points for rubbish. Seeing the breakdown of carbs, proteins, fats etc is a good push.

I had 1240 cal today. I have lost 2lb. It's a start.

10 days until go ape.
2 weeks until color run.
8 weeks until the spartan race.
14 weeks until gorilla run.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Cough, splutter

Off rails completely. At least food/exercise wise. Oddly, for the first time, the rest of what I'm up to is going great. Feel on top of things. Have been doing some great home ed stuff with the brood, getting out and meeting lots of people, enjoying dog ownership greatly, looking after home is fine - usually I'd be in an even more chaotic zone than standard.. My training for scouts is going well, paperwork is filed, bills are paid, I feel fairly balanced. 

It's odd not to have my entire existence and self worth depend on the scale number.

Still, I don't want to keep eating madly, or coach-potatoing.

Knew I'd gone over 200 - was 201 last week, and that was after fasting for 30 hours. (Oh, yeh, I did it. Wow it hurt!!) Nasty, but done.

I've already guzzled breakfast this morning, but will weigh again tomorrow and go from there. :)

Yunno, after I finish all the caffeinated sugar friends hanging in my kitchen...

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Participate in a Protest

On March 25th I was in Westminster freezing my tootsies off, to support and protest for Independent Midwives.

Currently Independent Midwives are campaigning hard to save this form of midwifery which will disappear in October unless the Government changes course-

I met Elaine (and Jasper) on the bridge, and we spent an hour at Westminster, lots of photographers were there
which is a good sign, and the speakers were fantastic. Photos on demotix -

After a shivery hour, we marched to Downing Street to hand in the petition.

Before heading to go grab a cup of something warm! - video from the day - please support our midwives!!

The two month catch up

After stopping running mid march, I haven't been out again. I spent March struggling to eat properly, feeling cross and hungry and binge-y. I went to the midwives protest march, got on with organising home ed trips for the kids, met with friends, looked after our cup of caterpillars and carried on with my beavers training, but couldn't get a handle on eating right again.

On the first weekend of April, I got a car! Had a terrified first few drives in it, and comfort ate my way through it. That Monday I weighed 184 at weightwatchers, up a stone from a month before. (This is going to be a theme..)

A busy week followed, landlord inspection, 3 separate maintenance days with strangers in the house, planning meetings for summer scouts programmes, and the kids got a virus. Lots of cleaning, and clearing and washing, and eating.

When summer term started mid April, I tried to 'reboot' the first Monday I went along with Seth to forest school, and dashed up to aquafit after beavers in the evening. Then ate a bunch of chocolates to celebrate. The virus resurfaced for a couple of days, and we finished the week with a fab trip to the Roman Villa at Crofton, which meant me driving through teeny squiggly country lanes. And relaxing after with cake. 

At the weekend I had St George's day parade to do with the boys. It was very depressing having to buy my smart uniform in size 16 when I had been just into a 12.

That evening I went and got our PUPPY!!!

(I've wanted a dog FOREVER, so has Sam, but we had assumed we'd not be allowed one. Finally the broodiness got too much and I asked our landlord, got a message back saying that he gave us permission to have a puppy as we were 'rather special' heh! 

He is a tri colour border collie, Sam's dream dog since I've known him, 9 weeks old and GORGEOUS.

Of course, he wasn't vaccinated, and so the next day I walked him round to the vet for his first jab, meaning that there would be three weeks until he could go out for walks. Three weeks of being stuck at home with a destructive clingy toddler. Oh yay. More cake.

Sleepless nights didn't last too long, but had an effect. I was so tired by the end of the first week. Thursday was a busy day, I took the kids over to Bromley for the second in the series of history sessions with Seth's HE group. We had to sit in the car with the puppy while Seth was in the museum. By the time we got home I was tired, then found my ticket to a Frank Turner gig I'd totally forgotten about! It was fab, but I was swaying through exhaustion to the music..
On the Saturday I had a full day training course for first aid, and having that much time to sit and not puppy watch was blissful!
I avoided weighing in the next Monday, I felt really grotty and run down, and hid at home feeling sorry for myself, before getting to beavers in the evening. 
The first week of May was not great. I realised that I'd put on another 10lbs. My clothes would not fit, I was eating rubbish and not exercising. Getting the dog to the vet on the same day that I went to Brighton was the most active I managed. 

Seeing Eddie was great, although Rachael was a lot more ready for Eddie than I was! The rest of the week was good too, I volunteered at moonwalk, got Seth to forest school, went and mummified oranges for the 3rd history session, saw Elaine and spent a fun day mooching around the West end, and validated over a third of my modules I need to complete my scout training. Oh, and put on another few lbs. huh.

The girls turned five last Wednesday and had a WONDERFUL day. They went to see StarTrek and went swimming, then had both families over for cake and presents. Mountains of. On Saturday we went to Brighton for a birthday visit, and to see their 'germy' aunt Rachael, we spent the afternoon outside and the kids (and dog) s-l-e-p-t the next morning. 

Sunday I took the girls and Jake for a decent longish walk to find bluebells for their nature detectives challenge. Felt so good to get out and move, that night is at down and promised myself, I'd weigh in the next day and shake off the last couple months of rubbish. I can still achieve all I set out to in 2013, the timing has just changed a little.