Wednesday, March 25, 2009

history repeating

For the third week in a row I've bought in a food item that set me off on a stuff myself silly-athon. Self respect flung out the window, good intentions stuffed into the cupboard and my conscience gagged and tied up, I eat a ridiculous amount of high point food. Then, before I've finished swallowing I'm writing it up in my journal, docking points off the rest of the week. Repeat a few times over the course of days 2 and 3 each week.. you have my recipe for success *rolls eyes*

I manage to claw back enough so that I'm over by 2-3 points a day, and am doing plenty of exercise - and the twins are feeding a lot - so I am still losing 2lbs a week. Still, it feels silly, especially as my body is now free of chronic pain *unless* I have binged. Was in agony last night after scoffing bread all day. The wheat in my joints was awful, I felt like I was brewing a DVT in my thigh and my bones ached. Waking up this morning my skeleton felt hungover, creaky and painful.

So why am I doing it? sigh. Answers on a postcard. Felt like Shirley Bassey was mocking me earlier, half laughing half singing 'history repeating" on my CD player as I munched a box of tracker bars.

I have to pull this week back. I have a shiny new card for my meeting next week as my original is now all full. I can't have a gain as my first recorded WI on it! Also got a note in the post today from my leader, can't very well turn up to talk about my fantasticness and set my goal if I'm pootling off the wrong way! (I know I "could", but it would feel a lot better to go as the slimmer me!)

Dear Joy, Congratulations on reaching another 10% How fantastic is that 61lb total. Well done. Come to me next week to weigh so we can decide on your final target.

2 comments:

  1. That note from your leader is lovely - wish we got notes!!! With the binging thing, does it help if you don't intend to buy it in the first place? I guess if it isn't in the cupboard then you can't eat it, although you are happy going for walks so maybe you'll strap the kids onto you and head out to the shops?

    Its a tough one, at the moment you are losing at a great rate though. If it wasn't for the binging and the after effects I'd have said keep going as you are!

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  2. yeah, its not the amount of points I'm eating, or even the types of food (aside from wheat) that's the problem, it's the slipping back into binge eating that has me concerned.

    Hey ho, surely just a phase, must find the trigger and fix it.

    Just seen your news Bryher! Excellent!!!

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