Thursday, April 30, 2009

What is your fat age?

High street chain Lloyds Pharmacy has developed a calculator based on common daily diets so people can work out if they have a fat age higher than their real one. The calculator asks simple questions about daily consumption of various types of food including eggs and cheese and chicken as well as biscuits and sweets.

This is then used to work out how much fat, in particular saturated fat, is eaten per day compared to recommended levels.

Telegraph 28th April 2009

The calculator is flawed, in that it doesn't take into account the use of skim milk, still the results were very interesting for me!

As of last September, aged 24 and eating a diet that had me gaining weight despite feeding two newborns, my fat age was 37, and my saturated fat age a staggering 47.. almost double my actual age.

Taking the online test today aged 25, both my fat and saturated fat ages come back as massively improved, well worth kicking the processed meats and overuse of full fat dairy.

Your fat age is 23
Your saturated fat age is 23

11am and I'm ready for bed

I'm so tired, been feeling a bit off for a few days, and had no voice since Sunday morning. Today I woke up ready for bed. I have no reserves left, feel completely touched out and just want to be left alone to veg about really. Thankfully the kids are all OK, a bit snotty but otherwise well enough for now. Seth is more bothered with making me talk about Thomas the tank engine than anything else.. so we just have to muddle through until I feel right again I suppose.

I am not really sick, but am really hating feeling like this - and I know why. This is how I felt every. single. day. at 220lbs+ Every question from my 3yr old smashes my foggied brain. Every spilt drink, dirty nappy, bruised knee requires me to move my tired aching body about. Just as I get comfy feeding the girls, the boys will begin screaming at each other and demanding I referee. On the rare occasion I start a chore or am in the middle of doing something for me (like a loo trip, or making a drink/snack - oh the luxuries of motherhood!) someone else will pipe up with another job for me to do "drink please" "I hurt" "... *bang* ..sob" Argh.

Rather than resorting to locking myself away and screaming into a pillow (which would be my first choice, but leaves children unattended and likely to "create" further issues for me to get het up over) I would eat. Grab a chocolate bar and stuff the anger down with it. Gulp down some coke and burn my throat with the fizz, instead of the yelling I wanted to do. Get a handful (or two) of caramel bites and focus on the sweet taste rather than feel overwhelmed at the amount to be done today.

I can't do that anymore, it doesn't help. It propagates the sickness rather than treats it. It doesn't even relieve the symptoms, just stalls the awareness of them.

So, today, feeling ill but a whole heap better than I did every day 70lbs ago I decided I would eat something "comforting", but also good for my body. I got the kids involved in playing with their toy garage, chucked the disney Cars dvd on, and got into the kitchen.

Today is blackberry day, I had intended to eat them late this afternoon, as a "pudding" .. but I figured I'd treat myself to pudding for brunch!

The label had suggested to blend them with milk and ice cream.. boring, too many points for a drink, and would mean I missed out trying the texture really. Stewed blackberries sounded lovely, but needed to much time for me to be tempted.
or why not just... serve with hot custard, or add a generous handful to sponge mixture to make moist blackberry muffins.

Oh, OK. That sounds perfect! Made 12 cupcakes, 4 of them with blackberries, then while the halflings devoured theirs I heated through some low fat custard and the remaining berries and served myself a really comforting plate of food.. 8 points!! Worth every one and very filling.

Another thumbs up, blood sugar and peace is restored.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

leave the tough decisions to an 11 month old

Raspberries.. that's the noise I heard from my twin daughters as I pondered on which new food to try today.. yup, that's right - never tried 'em. Well, didn't get fat and unfit making confident and sensible food choices!

Label suggested letting them get to room temperature after washing and adding to whipped cream and dolloping onto meringue nests. Yum. Looked forward to it all day, hoping I wasn't going to face a lychee-type disappointment.

After a day of being stuck in the house with a sore throat and trying to save points (got attacked by a packet of chocolate covered raisins last night) I had just 2 points left to use. Really didn't fancy them on their tod, and was about to start sulking when I noticed Malachi grin and giggle eating his raspberry and vanilla yoghurt. Oh yes. A meringue nest, 120g vanilla WW yoghurt and 100g raspberries. A bowl of heaven for 1.5 points.

Totally made up for my upset yesterday, a 1,000 times yummier. healthier and more satisfying than a muller light!

Raspberries contain significant amounts of antioxidants, linked to potential health protection against several human diseases. They are a rich source of dietary fibre (30% daily value per serving), vitamin C (about 50% daily value) and manganese (about 60% daily value). Contents of B vitamins 1-3, folic acid, magnesium, copper and iron are considerable in raspberries.

Raspberries rank near the top of all fruits for antioxidant strength. Due to their rich contents of antioxidant and vitamin C, raspberries have an oxygen radical absorbance capacity value of about 4900 per 100 grams, including them among the top-ranked ORAC fruits.

Preliminary medical research shows likely benefit of regularly consuming raspberries against:

  • inflammation and pain
  • cancer
  • cardiovascular disease
  • diabetes
  • allergies
  • cognitive decline
  • degeneration of eyesight

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Giant albino soap-grapes masquerading as conkers

Today was Lychee day. Sam likes lychee on his ice cream, I've never paid them much attention, just grabbed a punnet when he has asked and left him to them. Not on my radar at all.

First thoughts on getting them out of the fridge was that they were very pretty conkers.. the pink ladies of the conker world. A quick read of the label, and I was peeling off the outer case (quite therapeutic) and pulling the white flesh off of the beautiful brown seeds. OK, so they smell like blossom, and look like giant albino grapes. Not too scary.

As per the label, and Sams advice, I grabbed a bowl of ice cream and dumped the lychee on. Looked good enough, a bit like the picture I'd expect to see on a laundry liquid advert, but OK.

Except it smelled like a perfumed liquid. The first taste was lovely, but as the smell/taste went on it got a bit too much for me. As a someone who suffers from allergies, eating squishy petals wasn't too thrilling.

Halfway through and I had decided that while I could taste that these fruits were exquisite, they're not for me.

They have an interesting texture, a little tougher than a grape. The flesh is sweet and flowery - great if you aren't someone who dislikes flowery scented stuff.. The temptation to chuck the fruit off and gobble the ice cream was ignored, and I enjoyed knowing that the portion had provided me with my recommended daily amount of vitamin C.

Nose still wrinkled I finished up the portion. Tasted like my grandma had been touching my food, having not rinsed her hands of her incredibly flowery soap. Fun to prepare though, and very pretty.

Get your free graze box


Enter the code at to get a totally free trial box. Nothing to lose, and you might discover a new food =)

Sams second graze box arrived this morning. He'd complained that the breakfast of porridge isn't filling enough. Along with his lunch he'd only eaten 7 points by 6pm yesterday!

So, todays box ought to help! 120g red grapes, 50g mixed almond, pecan and brazil nuts and 35g yoghurt coated peanuts.. yum!! Total of 14 points.

Monday, April 27, 2009

"Mummy, I am NOT eating a(n) alien"

Last week I was going to include 4 components recommended by weight watchers each day.
1. Track everything you eat, and stick to your personal points allowance.

2. Drink plenty of fluids, 6-8 glasses each day.

3. A portion of calcium each day.

4. 5 portions of fruit and veg a day.

- Nursing mums need more nutrients, so please follow these guidelines:
Increase water to 8 glasses, dairy to 3 portions and fruit & vegetables to 8 portions.

I tracked every bite, I stuck to my weeks 203 points. Plenty of fluids guzzled, though I am still forgetting and getting too thirsty on occasion. Have had yoghurt/pro biotic each morning with my granola, plus milk in omelettes and my white/decaf tea. I ate an average of 6.5 portions of fruit & veg each day, but didn't try anything new, simply as we had so much in already it would have meant letting something spoil if I'd bought more.

So - this week I will try a new fruit or veggie each day. I am a bit nervous, as I eat a fair amount already, and am going to have to go out of my comfort zone a bit. Seems a bit weird to be nervous about tasting stuff, but hey.

Since starting weight watchers I have tried several new foods - shallots, cherry tomatoes, sweet potato, butternut squash, courgette, aubergine, pears and kiwi. I'm not a huge fan of aubergine, but it didn't hurt me, and everything else tasted wonderful.. so adding another 7 ought to be fun!

Went around Sainsburys and after grabbing the staple fruit and veg, added a few new items.. so our trolley had:

white grapes
red/black grapes*
courgette (zucchini)
butternut squash
aubergine (eggplant)
sweet potato

*items that I have not tried
** I have eaten banana, once, aged 4. I am terrified of it. The idea of eating bananas fills me with dread. I hate banana flavouring. Wish I could get over it, I would love to be able to include them in my diet. Since having kids (who all love banana) I am able to handle them, and even peel them and touch *shiver* the fruit without gagging. Part of me wants to try them, hoping that I will have changed my mind and LOVE them.. but there is a big mental barrier..

So, 5 fruits (if we include the scary yellow one) and 2 veg. I will prepare them as recommended on their labels, and will eat the entire portion (unless it's really, truly rank!)

Today I went for Celeriac. After clarifying with a few people that it was in fact "suh-ler-ee-ak" and not, as my 3yo had decided, "celery-yuck". I can't imagine anything much more yuck than celery. I have already scoffed the majority of my days points, after baking a batch of chocolate muffins, and discovering there was a tub of toffee ice cream in the freezer (ahh, well.. at least it's a couple of dairy portions...) With just 4.5 points left as of 11.30am it had to be a veggie day.

Large, scary vegetable out of the fridge and on the worktop, I looked to see what the label said when suddenly - *gasp* "what is that?! mummy.. look it's a monster.. no, it's a, a alien!?" (I blame 3D cinema) Right, calm child, show him it's inanimate. Wash and peel, then either mash, or cut into chunks and roast like potatoes. OK.

Peeling the thing was like taking a class in carpentry, sure I was burning any calories I was about to consume just getting the thing prepared. A few moments into peeling I thought to myself how it really smelt like celery, then clicked I was probably being a tad dense (as I had when first preparing BNS and exclaiming that it smelt "nutty") Seth was visibly relieved to see that after I had washed the muddy bits, peeled it to within an inch of it's life and removed it's tentacles, it looked a lot less squid-alien and more like a root veg.

Lunch then was to be 2 Sainsburys BGTY sausages grilled (2.5) cut up and mixed with roasted (with frylight) veg - 1/2 a butternut squash, 1/3 a celeriac, 1/2 onion, a courgette and a green pepper.

Cut it into chunks and chucked in the oven for 20mins. I went to trusty google to find out what I was about to eat; 'celery root' Aha. Yes. Of course.

Lunch was yummy! The nutty, rooty flavour of the celeriac with the sweet, mushy BNS went fantastically. Will be buying that again!!

week 35 - called on account of the rain

At 9.30 this morning I was raring to get going to WI. My mum was running late but called to say she was coming, though not WI herself this week as she had to rush. Kai was fully dressed, laying on the floor watching Dora and the girls were both shattered and wanting to nurse to sleep. Seth was still snoozing away downstairs. Despite having gone down and poked him a few times, bribed him with choco cereal for brekkie, and then having his younger brother bounce on him, he kept just laughing, letting out sleepy cries of "Hey, NO!" and rolling back to sleep. He had a particularly late night, playing trains with his dad til silly o'clock..

And then it started chucking it down. Arse.

Mum arrived half an hour late, drenched, with a drenched double buggy (trying to make WI a speedier process, last week they went in the buggy, saves me unwrapping and rewrapping them both for the sake of a 10 minute walk!) the babies were still wanting me, despite having spent 30mins feeding and a barely conscious Seth was arguing with the sofa about whether he wanted to wear boots or socks (?!?)

So we did WI here. With my mother and 2 hungry babies as witness I was in the 10s!! 2.5lbs off since last week.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 27.1
Weight - 153 lbs, total of 69 gone forever. 12 til gold.

Walked lots again this last week, as well as getting out into London, and taking both boys to Rugbytots.. running around after the 2 of them was a LOT of fun, really great to see them both enjoying the same class.

Monday - 4.75 miles. My big boy walked so far (including a killer mile long hill)
Tuesday - 1.25 miles.
Wednesday - 3 miles.
Thursday - 2.25 miles.
Friday - 4.5 miles.
Saturday - 3.2 miles
Sunday - 2.05 miles (the 2 yr old walked this too - included the killer hill! Amazing for him.)

21 miles total. =)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

11 hours, 3 miles, a skirt and no pain..

bit of a "non scale victory" for me (Sam would argue it's more his win than mine..) today. For the first time in a long, long time I spent the day in a skirt. Outdoors, in public, with people we know. I love how skirts look on others, but can count on my hands how often I've worn one since puberty, and the onset of leg shape and hair. 3 times at college *once was fancy dress. On my hen night and wedding day (very different lengths) one evening in November 2005 for a formal party and.. well, today.

My reasons for disliking skirts were manifold. I hated feeling stuck, wanted to be able to run, jump fences, bike, climb trees.. do trousers stuff. I liked pockets, having a back pocket perfect for stashing a box of cigs and a lighter inside was a must. l hated showing my legs, remembering to keep them smooth and buffed was just another job to add to my already full to do list. Being quite short, and long torso-ed, getting a good fit in length was not easy. My real choices were floor length (fine except for the whole running, jumping, climbing trees ishoos) or mini.. umm no.

As I got larger other reasons were added - mainly the excruciating pain of my oversized thighs rubbing as I moved. I would want to wear a skirt, liking the idea of hiding my outline under floaty feminine material. The reality was a sweating, limping figure, near tears after an hour or so. The stinging, burning pain of my angry skin would throb for the rest of the day and interrupt my sleep that night.

When I began WW in August 2005 I bought myself a few pieces of clothing from Nomads as an incentive. Two summery tops and a long skirt. This one. It's free size "Zip and drawstring tie which you can adjust to size" Well, it never zippered up for me, but I held onto it, determined that I would wear these clothes one summer. I would pull that drawstring to size. I would be a person who was included in the bracket of "one size" In january I got it zippered up, had to wear it at my waist, and it only just did up, but it "fit".

Looking at the sun today, my planned trousers already messed with banana (thanks to whoever of my brood that was) I went to find the skirt, on a whim. Pulled it on, zippered it up - it fell to my hips.. wow! Drawstring adjusted and I was ready to go. Halfway down the hill, sun shining, holding the hands of my sons, giggling with one girl on her dads back and the other on my front, Sam said I looked happy - and how thin did my thighs feel? Heh!

Walked to and from church and my parents, did the usual chores around the house.. all feeling wonderfully cool and no rubbing. They feel very thin.

WI tomorrow, really really hoping that there will be 10st something on those scales. Need a 2lb loss. *Here's hoping*

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Don't super size me

Sam WI this morning at 250lbs. 25lbs gone in 3 months, not too shabby =)

He's done so well, a 3rd of the way to goal. Waist at start was 48", now it's 40.5", his BMI has gone from an "obese" 32.6 to an "overweight" 29.6. Another 2.5lbs and he'll have lost 10%.

The changes he has made each week are working. He's not following any program, but tracking occasionally, eating a lot more low GI foods and cutting down on fat and sugary caffeinated drinks.

His next change is going to be cutting out McDonalds and the like. The kids and I don't eat the stuff anyway (though Seth is partial to a burger, with the fastfood he usually eats a few mouthfuls then tells me it's dirty!) and I won't step foot in McDs. Sam however eats breakfast there every weekday! Leaves the house at 7.20, and the only place open at work before 9 is the evil golden arches.

Sickened by how the greasy muffin compares to the rest of his diet, he is making changes, for the next week he is going to get up 10mins earlier and make a bowl of oatso simple. The oats should keep him going longer and cleans, rather than slug up his gut first thing.

Timely then, that I found a copy of Morgan Spurlocks documentary film, Super size me when mooching around CeX yesterday. We watched it this evening, if he wasn't ready to quit using the fast food before, he is now!

Friday, April 24, 2009

feeling good

today was a good day, I have been productive around the house, spent most of the day with my default being chillaxed and happy and the halflings and I have enjoyed ourselves.

Went to a slingmeet at Coram's fields. It was the first time I've taken all my brood into London without backup. After a good time chatting, chasing pigeons, climbing frames and digging in the sand it was time to grab the citylink train - in rush hour. We then met Sam from work and jumped on a bus home, grabbing fish and chips en route.

Really normal day. Which is what makes it so special. There is no way that I would have begun to consider taking just the boys out that far at my heaviest. No way. I'd go as far as I could walk, and somewhere familiar, and not to meet new people. Not alone, going across the city by train with a 3 year old, buggy bound 2 year old and 11 month twins!!

As well as the fleshy walled cell my depression built to keep me locked up in, my mind had formed a larger prison. The more I binged, the greater my agoraphobia. At one point, shortly after losing my first baby, it got so bad I couldn't answer the phone or open the door. The feelings of anxiety at going out, even for the most ordinary tasks, were enormous. Going to post a letter was A Big Deal. Grocery shopping alone, terrifying. My previously hectic social life ground to a halt. Usual trips out for us as a couple had to be the cinema, in pre-booked seats so I could choose to be a) close to the doors and b) not sat next to anyone but Sam. As I lost weight with weightwatchers the first time, I began to get better. I started going to the salon again, and enjoying it. I'd meet up with friends for drinks, make it to lectures without having a panic attack. When I was just a few lbs from goal we went to Bath for a long weekend, and did all the touristy sightseeing stuff, no problem. Days later I began to lose our second pregnancy, and felt myself being pulled back into the dark space.

In the darkest weeks postpartum I would hide from visitors, take Seth out for walks at dawn to avoid other people. screen calls and struggle to get dressed every single day.

The weight coming off is just a small outward sign of the rebuilding, the recovery and restoration of my heart and mind.

and the butterflies in my stomach? No, I'm not anxious, I'm excited!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

graze craze

The first of Sams Graze boxes arrived today. Checking the blogroll it seems he was in good company!

It's a fab idea - healthy snacks delivered to wherever you are. Opportunity to try new foods and mix things up without the worry of buying and potentially wasting food. Prepared and packed ready to eat.

They are nationwide (UK) anywhere that postie visits can be Graze-d Tues-Sat. In a box there's 3 punnets, a large portion of fresh fruit, and then a medium and small punnet each containing nuts, seeds, dried fruits, crackers & olives. It's all free from artificial colourings, flavourings and preservatives.

Online you mark the food items like, love, bin or try. The box is made up based on these ratings.

Sam's already taking a Sainsburys "healthier" ready meal - they look and taste great, not the usual ordeal of eating a salty, sloppy alien warmed in black plastic, pretending to yourself that you do believe this resembles the meal portrayed on the (unnecessary, wasteful) outer packaging. He isn't ever organised enough to make and take lunch, wants something cooked, and frankly - no. I cannot see where I could sanely fit making another meal every day!! Happy to do it when we were childless, or had less than 4 kids aged and under!!

Menu choices aren't great near his office - a McDonalds, TGIs and the cafe downstairs.. offering mediocre baguettes and jacket spuds. Nowhere to grab fruit or granola bars etc. He keeps a stash of alpen light in his desk, but fruit gets bruised on his commute.

So, graze might just be the ticket. It's relatively expensive - 2.99 a box, but considering how many different foods we'd have to buy and keep airtight to give Sam the same variety, it's a good price. Plus if he's got these alongside his lunches, his work food and travelfare is costing around a tenner a day - not bad at all.

His food for the day at the office - after a brekkie of oatso simple - was beef stroganoff, sliced apple, pistaschios and dried cherries. All good stuff, 5.98 spent, no extra time needed from me, and all pointed/recyclable packaging =)

Points for todays box were 6.5, perfect for munching healthily at a desk.

You can get a box for free with the code
free box code: 3424YVNG

put your left leg in.. AND your right leg in..

Summer is definately sending advanced notice of real intention to visit this year. We're on day 3 of clear blue skies, gorgeous sunshine and temperatures of 19°C (66°F) not baking hot, just nice. For April it's just weird, but I'll enjoy it anyway.

Digging around in my drawers earlier, looking for some comfy lightweight togs to get on and clean the house in, i saw my favourite pair from last year, a lovely pair of thin but cushy yoga pants, they kept me really cool, and though they're maternity wear, (I laboured in the things) they came under the bump and fit well after the birth.

Soaked in amniotic fluid, 2 hours from giving birth - but comfy in my trews! Again, I may be obese and carrying a 4 month old about, but my trousers are too comfy for me to complain.

I don't know why I thought they would fit. They are outsize AND maternity. I figure that my mind hasn't fully taken in that there have been some significant changes.

Simply remembering how very wonderful they felt and how perfectly they fit, I picked them up.

They did look a bit big as I unfolded them, and the weight of them seemed heavy in my hands given how light the fabric is. As I pulled them up I laughed, realising I'd never be able to wear them again.. even pregnant I think I'd need braces.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

easy PEASy..

I am loving my "challenge" to eat my 5-a-day (actually for me it's 8 a day as per weightwatchers recommendation for breastfeeding mums) I love bulking out my meals with veg, and snacking on bowls of fresh juicy fruit.

According to the NHS the average person in the UK eats less than 3 portions of fruit and vegetables a day, children/young people are eating even less! About a third of what we eat should be fruit and veg. 5-a-day is a good starting point and an achievable target.

I know that my diet includes at least 5 a day, as should Sam's now he's planning what he's eating, and losing weight. I'm not sure about the kids though. Some days they'll munch the contents of the fruit bowl between them, and nibble on the offered of veg at dinner, other days they are scoffing good amounts of oats, pulses and protein.. but not enough of the colourful stuff.

Casting my mind back to yesterday, Seth ate granola, savoury pancakes, maize crisps, beef and an apple. Malachi had a banana pancake and granola, 2 beef burgers with cucumber, tomato and baby potatoes, and homemade haddock pie - sweet potato, sweetcorn and broccoli. The girls ate granola and banana with a little yoghurt, potato, tomato and cucumber and maize snacks. Course they are getting the majority of their calories and nutrients.
So far today Seth has had 2 apples, some carrots and cucumber. The younger 3 have all had tomato, cucumber, banana, apple, carrots, sweet potato and coleslaw.
The youngest 3 are getting plenty, which is great to see. Seth is a picky eater and has always been, I've always noted that his daily intake caries wildly, so it will be interesting to keep track and see what is going in.
I ate 6 portions on Monday, 8 on Tuesday, and 8 today. Sam has around 2 at each of lunch and dinner, though occasionally he has a meal with only 1.. so he needs to add in 2 snacks a day of fruit/veggies.

Sam is going to try out getting snack boxes delivered starting tomorrow. The site looks fantastic, a great way to test out new combinations and keep energy and blood sugar stable throughout the day at the office. Hoping he'll agree we should get one sent here for me to try, some of the nut combos look divine!!

I've been keeping up the calcium component and found a yummy 1 point snack that uses both a calcium and fruit portion - a sliced apple with a 1/2 point of fat free yoghurt. The fat free Weightwatchers toffee 120g pots are perfect. Throwing a handful of fruit into sugar free jelly is another yummy way to get 1 (or 2) of your 5 a day. Pick a jelly flavour and whichever fruit you fancy (maybe not kiwi, pineapple and papaya - they'll stop the jelly setting) and chuck them in once the jelly has begun to set. I like raspberry jelly and frozen berries.. mmm (Sam also likes to add extra light whipped cream - a great bit squirt is just 1/2 point).

I try to have at least 2 veg in every meal and have begun substituting potato for butternut squash. As well as bulking out my meals with extra veg where I can, it's often a way of grabbing a free or low point snack. A bowl of grilled or roasted with fry light veg is 0 points depending on what you use. I love to slice up a red onion, courgette, peppers, some parsnips and butternut squash and roast them with frylight. Yummy munchies to keep afternoon hunger pangs at bay.
Also loving my 0 point omelettes. 3-4 egg whites and 2 tbsp of skimmed milk. I dry fry mushrooms, peppers and onions and grill a tomato. Throw them into the setting egg and season.. yum!

Going to push myself to make sure I'm eating 8 a day, and give the whole family a chance to try a new fruit or veggie each day for the remaining 4 days of this WW week!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

time for me to belt up

and no, I'm not going to give your eyes a break from my ramblings.. I'm having to start using a belt to hold my trousers up.

All my wonderful size 14s are too big! The 12s in my wardrobe go on, just, but not comfortably enough for me to switch yet. Plus, I find it very hard to believe that I am anything close to a size 12 yet. That's just so... normal?!

All my belts are too small, being from when I weighed 2 stone less than now, but Sam's skinny belts are great, and have held up my 14s all day long.

Stunned at the idea that of being smaller than a 14, I decided to check out my measurements against a sizing chart. Measurements today were 39.5 (bust) 31.5 (waist) 39 (hips).

According to Dorothy Perkins I am a 14-16 top and 14 bottom. Topshop agree. Same at Marks and Spencers - in fact here my hips are a 12.. then I noticed the plus size size guide. I always have assumed I was a 22 at my biggest. I didn't check, I wore my XL maternity jeans/joggers or Sam's XXL man trousers. After the c-section I avoided fitted trousers, terrified of aggravating the angry scar that was made in emergency.. cosmetic appeal not foremost in the doctors mind. Truth was the physical wound had healed perfectly, but it gave me something to hide the real pain behind.. the emotional pain and fear of facing up to having to shop in special shops, of not fitting into "normal" clothes.

I pretty much lived in my maternity jeans (baggy fit size 20 with full elasticated panel) and XL maternity lounge trousers. Once the last pair of my jeans wore through (my fat thighs literally broke through the seams every 3 months and I'd need to buy new) I went to H&M and bought a pair of size 20 maternity jeans. I thought they looked huge, my babies were 3 months old - I should have been putting the maternity wear away, not buying more. I got home and they would not fit. I couldn't get them up over my hips and the panel struggled to stay up over my belly. The panel designed to be worn over another human in utero was too small...

I thought instead it would make sense to wear my husbands "fat" jeans - just "until I dropped a few lbs to fit into my 18s" the clothes I felt awful buying after having my first, shocked to be buying such a large size. Clothes I now longed to wear.

Sam's fat jeans are so well worn in and something like a 46" waist, I thought they'd be too big. Early in September 2008, I pulled them on and discovered, to my horror, that I could barely get the zip closed. I went along to Weightwatchers that week.

My starting measurements for WWs were 51-48-49. The area over my scar was bigger than either my waist or hips, at 50". According to Evans size guide that made me a 26-28 bust 28 waist and 24 hips (taking the flab over the top hips into account.) A 28. My waist ought to be 28" not SIZE 28!!

Size 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 30 32
Bust - (cm) 97 103 109 115 121 125 129 133 137 141
(inches) 38 40½ 43 45 47½ 49 50½ 52 54 55½
Waist - (cm) 80 86 92 98 104 111 118 125 127 129
(inches) 31½ 34 36 38½ 41 44 46½ 49 50 51
Top hip (cm) 100 106 112 118 124 130 136 142 149 156
(inches) 39 41½ 44 46½ 48½ 51 53½ 56 58½ 61½
Bottom hip - (cm) 101 107 113 119 125 131 137 143 150 157
(inches) 39½ 42 44½ 47 49¼ 51½ 54 56½ 59 61¾

According to Evans chart now my waist and hips are spot on their size 14, bust is at 14-16. From 28 to 14 in less than 8 months.. incredible. Terrifying. Wonderful. How did I get there and not notice?

For as long as points and scales stay a part of my life, there's a new friend who'll always be kept close by now. My tape measure. There also lurk in my bedroom a few other items that remind me where I went.. the fat jeans and my sloggy trousers. Might have to pull them out for pictures at some point soon.

Monday, April 20, 2009

at this rate I'll do it

34 weeks in, and 2/3 of the way to losing 100lbs. If I lose the remaining weight at the same rate (32.5lbs in 17 weeks) I will have lost the 100 in 51 weeks.. just in time for our anniversary. *grin*

week 34 - thrilled to be a loser

After a weird week of tracking very lazily craving sugar and processed foods and feeling very sluggish and frustrated as a result of the rubbish I did eat, I was looking forward to getting today over with and restarting a fresh new week.
Had only gained a couple of ounces as of Tuesday, however a sneaky peek on Friday confirmed my suspicions - gain of 2lbs after medicating my migraine by eating a bit too much of what I fancied. Dropped 4 points of off both Saturday and Sunday, drank lots and walked in the hope of melting the extra. It worked - 1.5lbs off at the scales today. Was very pleased with that.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 27.5
Weight - 155.5 lbs, total of 66.5 gone forever. 14.5 til gold.

Averaged 25miles a week over the last 2 weeks. Aiming for the same this week.

Want to go into May in the 10 stones, if I can shed 2lbs this week I'll make that. Next minigoal is to hit my 5th stone off for Maya and Anyas 1st birthday in 3 weeks, just 3.5lbs to get there!

So, back to normal after the Easter holidays. Time to get my nose down and bacl to WWing properly. Now it's time to add in the 4th component..

1. Track everything you eat, and stick to your personal points allowance.
2. Drink plenty of fluids, 6-8 glasses each day.
3. A portion of calcium each day.
4. 5 portions of fruit and veg a day.

- Nursing mums need more nutrients, so please follow these guidelines:
Increase water to 8 glasses and dairy to 3 portions.

scale fright

Getting everyone washed, dressed and fed, ready to go to "Mummys fat club" in less than an hour.

Having been two weeks since last WI and being very inconsistent with tracking, I'm hopeful but a little nervous. Really hoping for a loss.. I want to see those 10 stones for May!!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


you look so.... healthy

seems to be the acceptable thing to say to the formerly obese person you may not have seen in a while, as decided by society in general. Must've heard it over 20 times in 4 days!

"Half the woman" "Wow, you look so well" "Still losing weight then" "You must feel so much better" "You seem so happy" "OK, dieting does work!" "No way! you can REALLY tell.. "Wow, you got smaller"

BIG boost to my ego, very well timed too.

lots of NSVs too, firstly was travelling on the train and being able to sit and nurse the babies in the aisle seats. I had been used to going into the space by the doors, as I couldn't squeeze behind the tables. Being able to all sit together at a 4 seat table on the train was so nice!

At the hotel I had a bath, fitting easily in the teeny tub AND the hotel towel went around with loads to spare. Last time we stayed in a travelodge I had to shower and the bath towels were too narrow to cover me.

Walking around the city I realised how much fitter I felt, the walks that used to feel "long" were a cinch and took half the time. Got back some pouch slings we had lent out (they had always been too small for me to use) ended up using one on a trip to Sheffield, and having to switch back as it was too big!

On the Friday we had a fun day out with friends, sadly Seth had an accident as we left the supermarket at the end of the day. After some first aid for the bleeding mouth (nasty scar and looks like he'll lose a tooth, poor kid) I asked him if he wanted a ride for the 3 miles back to the hotel. He was on my back in a flash. Friends, concerned, asked how I could possibly carry him all the way back. Found it difficult to believe me when I said that the 65lbs combined weight of the kids = fat I've lost so far, so really it'd be just like walking home from the shops alone 7 months ago. I REVELLED in the shock on their faces.

I was glad to let that load down when we got back - sweet relief!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Another journal to fill with foody thoughts

Time to start my fresh new journal (week 33?!) back OP now after my "holiday". We got back on Monday late afternoon, ate silly food while travelling. Tuesday I took a peek at the damage, scales showed a gain of 2oz =) that afternoon/evening I had a bad migraine, triggered by all the gluten and sugar no doubt.

Have struggled today, and yesterday, eating all the wrong foods. Need to get back OP and get these numbers dropping again. I want to see the 10 stones before April is out, I am determined to get to my 5th stone off for the twins birthday in just under a month.

Filling out my shiny new journal, I took my measurements again, and was pleasantly surprised at some of the numbers.

BUST 50" 44" 42"
WAIST 48" 36" 32"
HIPS 49" 42" 39"
15" 12" 12"
THIGH 29" 24" 22"

A loss of 44 inches!! Nearly a foot in the last 2 months as well! Awesome.

summer slim up

Easter challenge was a success. Received an email asking if I'd be joining in the "summer slim up", a 12 week challenge. I've 16lbs to go to the goal my leader has set me for gold membership which seems a good target.

*revised goal* after a few weeks of mucking about my original goal is not going to be attainable. Instead I'm going for 147lbs, 75lbs total loss - 10lbs over the course of the challenge.

06/04/09 -- 157
13/04/09 -- 157
20/04/09 -- 155.5
/04/09 -- 153
/05/09 -- 154.5
/05/09 -- 154
18/05/09 -- 153.5
25/05/09 -- 153
01/06/09 -- 152
08/06/09 -- 157
15/06/09 -- 155
22/06/09 -- 152
29/06/09 -- 151

Sunday, April 12, 2009

easter check in - nearly time to check out

On my notebook and dial up in the hotel. Kids are asleep, it's our last night before we head back south tomorrow. We've had a really lovely relaxing but funfilled weekend away. Lots of catching up with friends, enjoying eating out and spoiling ourselves.Staying in a travelodge means we've been totally reliant on eating out for our meals, taking the eating out guide along, and taking time to think through the most sensible venue for each meal has made it a lot more weightwatchers friendly than I'd have imagined it would be.

Friday at a pageant in the city centre, and spending the afternoon catching up with friends at a kids megacentre and dinner (9 kids between our 2 families, they had a blast!) Saturday in Sheffield for a meet up with some women who are so important to me, but I rarely get to see and today we were at our old church and then out for a relaxed afternoon lunch and cinema trip for the boys. Lots of fun, far too many opportunities to eat crap!

We've pointed everything, not stayed within points by any stretch of the imagination, but we've kept track and made sensible choices 80% of the time. Not going to be back for weigh in tomorrow am, so I have this week to sort myself out and chuck out any extra lbs that may have set up camp around my waistline.

Tomorrow is the start of week 33, new journal begins. I'll jump on my scales at home to check out the damage - I'm hoping to be at the weight I was last week for next weeks WI.. kind of nervous to see what my eating out has done!

Hope everyone has had/is having a wonderful Easter. =)

Oh, and for those in Solihull/Birmingham/Leicester get yourselves to Handmade Burger Co. The food is gorgeous! As well as our burgers (YUM!) we shared flame grilled veg, freshly made coleslaw - light and zingy - and the most perfectly crisp chips and onion rings, bursting with flavour and melt in the mouth good.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

pat on the back and packing the bags

been an ok day, food a bit silly, grazing lots. We are going back up to Leicester tomorrow for Easter weekend. Really excited to see friends after 5 months away from them. Every item of clothing has been washed. After the 5th load of laundry I opened my email and was pleasantly surprised by an email from someone who had written to me after stumbling across the blog (find this totally weird - in a very lovely way - that another person would care enough to reach out and share in the journey) Made me smile as I read her kind words, thankyou. The cyber arm that was patting me on the back also must have dished out the remaining hot cross buns between the halflings, as when I went to munch them, they were (thankfully) no longer on my plate..

Going to take my mini notepad and mobile internetwith me. Sam has started tracking points this week after a 2lb gain last week (he's done so well though, 21lbs off since Jan) and is adamant we take all the weightwatchers books, so we should be able to keep tabs on each other!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Horses, blossom, Madagascar...

days like today the diet fades into the background, in a good way. I'm not thinking about food or points, but track effortlessly, eating sensibly and getting enough time to cook (really though it's getting the time free to concentrate on preparing my meals that means I eat sensibly.. ) The weather is bright and breezy, we have a few easy errands to run, housework fits in around nursing and changing babies, kids get on, nothing breaks, my body is working and head is clear.

This is how a healthy person feels all. the. time. What an incentive! No wondering if I look fat, having all my clothes fit without unsightly bulging. Eating what I fancy, because what I want is *good*. Healthy diet and exercise meaning happy oxygenated brain. Kids well fed and feeling relaxed with a mum who can keep up with them, and say yes to pleas for a walk in the sun. How great to have this as a "normal" day.

We just popped to the local shops for eggs, and to the library for one of our bi-weekly visits. It hit me how much these sorts of outings have changed in the last 7 months. Now that I am not rushing our trips, desperate to be back in the safety of the house, or simply too warm or breathless under the twins, we can really explore the environment around us - somewhat of a necessity for 4 new minds, eager to make discoveries.

At the top of our road there is a field, the lady who owns it rescues horses and keeps them there while they are in 'recovery'. Gives them space to graze and get used to normal human contact. There have been 2 horses there for a month now. We see them daily and they are beginning to get friendly.

The blossoms in the trees had all the halflings in awe, the girls wanted to reach the flowers, looking mesmerised by the floating petals in pink and white. Kai managed to catch a falling blossom, and happily gazed at it while Seth threw up petals like confetti.

Standing, watching (and capturing) these moments it began to dawn on me how much I was going to lose out on by staying too big. Too self conscious to let my children meet a horse. Too hot to watch them marvel at the changing seasons. Too tired to be with my kids as they make their childhood memories..

As we left the supermarket I wasn't in a rush to get outdoors and eat a bag of 5 cookies, nor was I needing to rush a pint of ice cream home before it melted. I wasn't busy deciding whether to make angel delight or eat hot cross buns, and because my eyes weren't focused on opening a milkshake, I caught sight of this...

and we went home and watched madagascar 2, while I made omelettes and drank my very yummy lime and lemon sparkling water.

Monday, April 06, 2009

week 17-32 progress chart


my firstborn and my youngest..

Either of the girls would have worked, they usually weigh exactly the same, or if there is a difference there's just under an ounce between them.

7 months ago my body weight alone was equal to my present weight, plus the weight of both my nearly 4 year old and one of my 10.5 month olds.

So happy to be going into the summer without the 65lbs of extra insulation that's for sure!!

Cannot believe I was managing to hulk around all the extra AND carry the kids about as well.

week 32, back on track, raring to go

After spending all week determined to get back on track, newly focused with my goal of 141lbs to hit, I was hoping to be rewarded with a fab time at the scales. I got exactly what I needed. Weight today was 157lbs -11st 3lbs. 5lb loss this week earnt me my 9th silver 7 and pushed my BMI down almost a whole point. Also means I achieved my 25lbs loss for the Easter Challenge.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 27.8
Weight - 157 lbs, total of 65 gone forever. 16 til gold.

Took my before pictures in this week, as I had been promising for nearly a month. Cue gasps from leader, helpers and members. I hope that means there are changes apparent! I had already hit my 10% and lost 22lbs when I started at my current group, so though my leader has seen me 3 stone heavier, she never saw me at top weight. In my photos it's plain how big I was, shocking actually. I really cannot get my head around how I didn't see how much I was putting on.

Walked 21 miles last week, which is want I want to be doing a week.

I stuck to the first 2 parts of the 5 key points of weightwatchers, this week I'll add the 3rd.
1. Track everything you eat, and stick to your personal points allowance.
2. Drink plenty of fluids, 6-8 glasses each day.
3. A portion of calcium each day.

- Nursing mums need more nutrients, so please follow these guidelines:
Increase water to 8 glasses and dairy to 3 portions.

Friday, April 03, 2009

these boots are made for walking..

at least I hope they are.. Last week walking was a drag. The shoes had been wearing weren't fitting well, and my wonky feet were complaining loudly. Really need to be careful with my feet, I have talipes (as do both my daughters, all our left feet are worst!) and new shoes need to fit well to prevent me getting "lazy" and letting my foot roll under on itself.

When pregnant with my eldest I bought a pair of crocs, I loved the width and ease of getting them on with a big belly, and was converted to the cult of ugly shoe. 3 years later and I was still wearing crocs. Still in pain with what I assumed was SPD last summer I was looking for a more supportive shoe. When I couldn't fit into my usual size (UK 5), or the next, but had to slip on a 7 to get comfy, I was shocked! The amount of weight I had gained had spread all the way tp my feet! No wonder my hips hurt trying to walk in too small shoes.

The pain went away, until last week, seems the fat from my feet is melting as I feel much better after a week back in size 5.5 - phew less pain, more walking..

mon 2 walks - 3.75
tues 2 walks - 3
wed 2 walks - 3
thurs 1 walk - 2.25
fri 3 walks - 4
sat 1hr rugbytots, 1 walk - 2.25
sun walk - 2.75

21 miles this week, better. =)

WI in 2 hours time, hoping for a good loss after last weeks gain.. Easter challenge target of 25lbs means I'd need to lose 4lbs, to get my next silver 7 I need to lose 3lb.. we'll see.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

enemy at the gate...

Ack, all I need, more temptation. I am addicted to wheat, yet it hates me. End up bloated, in chronic pain and breathless if I indulge.. still I long for baked goods. Now the 25th Krispy Kreme UKfranchise is about to open, in the shopping centre we use almost weekly.

Krispy Kreme teams will hit the Centrale shopping centre and the Croydon High Street from 11am on Saturday March 28 and Sunday 29 in the run-up to the unveiling of the new store.

Over 12,000 of their original glazed doughnuts are on offer to lucky passers-by but they will have to be quick to get their first taste in.

(last weeks guardian)

We were there, we grabbed one each. THEY WERE LUSH.

Have to go through Croydon this Sunday, we'll need lunch there, needless to say I've already put aside points for a mocha and maple glazed donut.