All my wonderful size 14s are too big! The 12s in my wardrobe go on, just, but not comfortably enough for me to switch yet. Plus, I find it very hard to believe that I am anything close to a size 12 yet. That's just so... normal?!
All my belts are too small, being from when I weighed 2 stone less than now, but Sam's skinny belts are great, and have held up my 14s all day long.
Stunned at the idea that of being smaller than a 14, I decided to check out my measurements against a sizing chart. Measurements today were 39.5 (bust) 31.5 (waist) 39 (hips).
According to Dorothy Perkins I am a 14-16 top and 14 bottom. Topshop agree. Same at Marks and Spencers - in fact here my hips are a 12.. then I noticed the plus size size guide. I always have assumed I was a 22 at my biggest. I didn't check, I wore my XL maternity jeans/joggers or Sam's XXL man trousers. After the c-section I avoided fitted trousers, terrified of aggravating the angry scar that was made in emergency.. cosmetic appeal not foremost in the doctors mind. Truth was the physical wound had healed perfectly, but it gave me something to hide the real pain behind.. the emotional pain and fear of facing up to having to shop in special shops, of not fitting into "normal" clothes.
I pretty much lived in my maternity jeans (baggy fit size 20 with full elasticated panel) and XL maternity lounge trousers. Once the last pair of my jeans wore through (my fat thighs literally broke through the seams every 3 months and I'd need to buy new) I went to H&M and bought a pair of size 20 maternity jeans. I thought they looked huge, my babies were 3 months old - I should have been putting the maternity wear away, not buying more. I got home and they would not fit. I couldn't get them up over my hips and the panel struggled to stay up over my belly. The panel designed to be worn over another human in utero was too small...
I thought instead it would make sense to wear my husbands "fat" jeans - just "until I dropped a few lbs to fit into my 18s" the clothes I felt awful buying after having my first, shocked to be buying such a large size. Clothes I now longed to wear.
Sam's fat jeans are so well worn in and something like a 46" waist, I thought they'd be too big. Early in September 2008, I pulled them on and discovered, to my horror, that I could barely get the zip closed. I went along to Weightwatchers that week.
My starting measurements for WWs were 51-48-49. The area over my scar was bigger than either my waist or hips, at 50". According to Evans size guide that made me a 26-28 bust 28 waist and 24 hips (taking the flab over the top hips into account.) A 28. My waist ought to be 28" not SIZE 28!!
|Bust - (cm)||97||103||109||115||121||125||129||133||137||141|
|Waist - (cm)||80||86||92||98||104||111||118||125||127||129|
|Top hip (cm)||100||106||112||118||124||130||136||142||149||156|
|Bottom hip - (cm)||101||107||113||119||125||131||137||143||150||157|
According to Evans chart now my waist and hips are spot on their size 14, bust is at 14-16. From 28 to 14 in less than 8 months.. incredible. Terrifying. Wonderful. How did I get there and not notice?
For as long as points and scales stay a part of my life, there's a new friend who'll always be kept close by now. My tape measure. There also lurk in my bedroom a few other items that remind me where I went.. the fat jeans and my sloggy trousers. Might have to pull them out for pictures at some point soon.