Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Really. Time to whip the rate of weightloss, my diet, my attitude and my lazy arse back into shape.
I AM determined to do this. I know what I need to be doing to achieve my goals. I have high expectations, but I can easily meet them if I just do the plan. I know now when I'm about to binge/overeat, and there is a moment now where I am able to make the choice, it's not as automatic as it was. It's time to break the habit.
It will start with me stood in the kitchen, having just made a drink or snack for the kids, or finished a chore, and I'll automatically look around for my "treat". How messed up is my head that I have trained myself like a gundog to expect a titbit every time I complete a task?!?
Well done Joy, you cleaned something - stuff your face with as much bread and sugar as you can in the 90 seconds before the kids start strangling themselves for your attention...
I found myself there yesterday, having already stretched my confused system by downing 3 slices of chocolate covered toast
As an aside, why I bother using thinly sliced malted loaf when I am topping it with Nutella I do not know.. in fact I'm not topping it at all, it's just there as an edible spoon. Perhaps on some level I am attempting to control my intake of the evil spread.. a thicker slice would allow me to have double the weight of the chocolate?!
.. so, already eaten at least half my days calories, with nothing good in my body.. by lunch I was scarfing bowl after bowl of high fibre cereal. By 2pm my head was hungry again and I was 5 points over for the day. Ugh.
Evening saw me stood in the kitchen, bagel in hand, mindlessly chewing away on the incredibly tasty, but totally unnecessary pile of food.
ENOUGH. If it means throwing it in the bin uneaten I have to stop myself putting these things into my mouth! For the next 5 days I am going to do "fast start" 18 points a day (should be 24 for breastfeeding mums) if I feel very hungry I will go up to 24, but after yesterday I really need to give my body a kick.
Come next Monday being back on 28 will feel like all my birthdays come at once.