Tuesday, June 30, 2009

shin splints

Set out for my run today, have been a bit sore for a few days but thought as I've been active and walking daily it was just soreness, no injury. A few seconds into my run I felt a slice of pain stab along my left shin, soon there were several. By the time the 60 secs run was up both legs felt bruised and the shards of pain were like new wounds, pain radiating with each step. Something felt off, the pain wasn't easing off and after a while I began to feel I was pushing towards making things worse.

Googled shin pain, and arse...

A shin splint is the most common cause of exercise-induced leg pain encountered by athletes of all levels. It is essentially an inflammatory reaction involving the deep tissues of the lower leg and may involve tendons & muscles.

  • running and walking may be extremely painful. In severe cases, even light weight bearing may be painful.
  • Tenderness is usually present between 3-13 cm above the foot


  • Over exercise
  • Mechanical problems with the feet such as "over pronation".
  • Tight calve muscles.
  • A young novice runner training for long periods on hard roads and in poor physical condition.
  • Training on hard surfaces such as concrete.
  • Improper shoes, inadequate shock absorption.
  • Excessive rotation of the hip.
So, seems suddenly starting out running, on the pavement, in old canvas shoes - without support - and not stretching/strengthening first *may* have something to do with it.. Spoke with my sister, she had the same thing happen when she started running, and rested for a couple weeks and got insoles for her flat feet.

  • Purchase shock absorbing running shoes.
  • Decrease training immediately.
  • Review stretching exercises may be necessary
  • Maintain fitness.
  • Do not train downhill, this can aggravate the condition.
  • Purchase shin splint insoles.

Have bought new shoes.
Will stop running for month of July, instead I will Shred (which will help with the strengthening and fitness maintenance)
I will be careful on hills - am now remembering squealing in pain while walking downhill on Sunday.. managed to block that memory until now.
I shall acquire some insoles ready for August.

Going to restart the c25k once I have completed the 30 day shred.

halfway through - pushups week 3.

Looked at this weeks numbers and wanted to hide, preferably on a comfy sofa munching rich tea biscuits and honey.. but Sam was watching, busy playing with the halflings so I could do my exercise, and so I did them.

Day 1

21 - 25 push ups
set 1
set 2
set 3
set 4
set 5
max (at least 17)

I did 20 for my max! From out of nowhere came some motivation to push myself just that little bit further, and I did it. End of the first set I felt like I wanted to quit. After the second my arms burned. Sets 3 and 4 were OK, but I felt totally spent. After a good 2 minutes swearing into a pillow I got on with the last set and broke 20. 75 for the day!! Wow! OK, maybe this is working, crappy as it may feel. I am NOT a quitter.

Day 2
set 1
set 2
set 3
set 4
set 5
max (at least 19)

This is the last day I didn't *have* to do 20 in one set, so I felt like I should just enjoy that and only do the 19 on set 5... but, seeing as I need to work *really* hard in the hope of seeing the back off these next 5lbs to reach my goal of 75lbs off, I pushed and pushed and did 25 on the last set. I'm still groaning my way through the first 2 sets, asking myself why on earth I am doing this to myself while "recovering" after set 2. Sam answered "no pain, no gain" - mocking me I'm certain, surely he's fully aware I want neither pain NOR a gain...

Anyhow, with Seth by my side for set 5, imitating me gasping out the numbers "niii-ne-teen.. oufff... twen-teeey.. ack!" I completed the day to a fine mist of lady sweat and a fabulous 86 for the day. Woohoo, not long and I will be managing 100 over the 5 sets! (I am still fairly convinced that I will not be able to manage 100 in a row, I really feel that I am not getting stronger, just becoming a more well-practiced masochist).

Day 3
set 1
set 2
set 3
set 4
set 5
max (at least 21)

Whoop, I'm halfway through. Still hating every moment, but I am halfway through those moments.. determined to finish what I have started. 9 more sessions. I can do this. Definately feeling increased strength now, wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination - but the jarring pain in my wrists wasn't flaring today, and the burn was getting towards the "good" pain feeling.. maybe I will get to the point where I actually like doing these? Won't hold my breath though. Pushed for the last set and did 26.. so the most I've done in a row so far. 93 for today.

Week 3, 254 pushups. Hello toned upper arms, goodbye chicken wings.

Monday, June 29, 2009

the last 25 (+4) while I am still 25...

The summer slim up is over. 12 weeks to drop 6lbs, better than a kick in the teeth, but not very inspiring. There are 3 months until I turn a year older.. I wanna be at goal, feeling fantastic, thrilled to be a year older and a whole lot fitter and thinner.

Hit 151lbs, my lowest yet, for the last week of summer slim up. Need to get on and lose the 4lbs that will take me to my 75lb loss and then I have the remaining weeks in which to lose the last 25lbs to hit the 100lb mark before I turn 26.

start -- 151
06/07 -- 152
13/07 -- 151.5
20/07 -- 148
27/07 -- no wi
02/08 -- 157!!
10/08 -- no wi
17/08 -- 157
24/08 --
31/08 --
07/09 --
14/09 --
21/09 --

week 44 - small victories, victorious skinnies

After the wobble mid week when the new scales broke the news about the previous week having caught up with me, I was sure I was headed back off the rails. KickStart went out the window, though I did keep tracking, and had a careful day on Saturday. I knew the scales were still showing a sts/small gain and after a day out and BBQ yesterday I was just hoping that I would at least maintain.

My new scales said 151.6, WI said 151.. another 1lb off and I am really chuffed. I know I was in points for the week, ready to do KickStart properly this week. I want to see the back of the 150s come the midweek check in - I've hung out in this decade for far too long.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 26.7
Weight - 151 lbs, total of 71 gone forever. 10 til gold.

So, 4lbs to shed this week. I have a new tracker ready to start next Monday, and at the end of those 12 weeks I want to be at my 100lb loss.

meeting was fab.. aside from being pleased to see a loss, however small, to show for my efforts this week, there was a cheering and clapping ahead of me in the queue. My mum did it and has reached goal! 11 stone (154lbs) on the nose this morning, giving her a BMI of 24.8. Down 45lbs from 14st 3lbs (199lbs) and a BMI of 32.1. She got her certificate and key chain thingy, and looked so happy (and slim)! Now the smallest she's been since she first put all the weight on, back when I was a teen. For the first time in my adult life, my mum is at a healthy weight, whoop.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

sun, sand and BBQ

Asked the eldest kidlet what he was wanting from his Sunday, he answered "see Nana, Grandad, Mark and Nunu, (my family) play drums, draw things. Climb a tree, see Gran, Ben, Annabelle and Tim (the in-laws). Play in a pirate ship, eat yummy food, go on a train and a car ride." OK kiddo... can do.

After the mile long walk to church we played in the creche and did some colouring. Seth saw his aunt and uncle and played the drums (my brother is the bands drummer, so the boys get access to the kit once service ids over) while I caught a few minutes with my parents - mum was just 2lbs off goal last week, but has struggled with eating this week.. so will she manage to hit her gold tomorrow? I am a bit nervous and excited!

Then we jumped on a train - well, 3 - to Reigate, to Sam's mums'. Played there and had a BBQ, I ate salad with a bit of chicken and coleslaw, and a burger with a small bun. Also might have had a toffee flapjack which probably put me over by 8 points.. oops, still, had a lovely afternoon and ran around the park with the kids (all around the sand and pirate ship) until gone 7pm. Got a lift home, with a box of gingerbread men on my lap (ginger biscuits are a real favourite of mine) and didn't eat a single one. Promised myself to work some into tomorrow as a pat on the back for being a bit more restrained today. Will be happy with sts tomorrow, had a lot of comments on my changing shape, so even though the scales are sticking, the inches aren't. All my exercise is doing the job.

Got a feeling that the running I will be doing now the girls are walking a lot will be a help too! Chasing 4 kids at once is a job worthy of calorific BBQ food!

Oh, and Seth got to do all the things on his list, except riding the dragon. I *assume* he meant flying a winged, flame breathing beast... I don't know where to get hold of one of those..

Saturday, June 27, 2009

these shoes are made for running...

and today that's just what they did.

Sam took me and the boys sports shoes shopping after rugbytots today. Bought the boys new trainers each (both grown another size - they're like weeds) and then I had to find some half decent shoes for running.

Not had a proper pair of trainers since I left school. Closest I own are my converse.. not the best now I am running, aiming to do 5k.

Found some tracksuit bottoms while in the store too, rather than my yoga pants, hoping to feel the part now at least.

Did the last run for week 1, definately feel stronger, less breathless while running. Began to feel some pain in my shins though, just hoping it was new shoe/muscle stretching and not the start of injury.

Another day on track, going to be a busy one tomorrow, then weigh in the morning after. Still feeling a bit gloomy about the week, really was hoping for a good loss. My scales still say that I have stayed at the same weight since Mondays weigh in. Think that they are accurate, after trying lots of family members on the things.

I guess it makes sense, still I'm disappointed. Know that my head is back in things now though. Am determined to break past this barrier and get into those 140s asap. I won't be beat by a couple slow weeks.

Friday, June 26, 2009

No more Evans for me..

'cos a size 14 is too big. Will have to get my measurements again, but it really would seem that I'm now a uk12!

Pictures of some of the new gear, it's really comfy and does feel nice to be wearing clothes that fit, rather than swamp, me..

Am amazed at how easily they fit. Still, shows that even if the numbers on the scales aren't budging, my body is changing. All the good food and exercise is paying off. The skin on my stomach is beginning to tighten up too. Really hoping that the more exercise I do, the more I can repair the damage done by having carried 4 kids in 3 years (nevermind the *other* 100lbs of excess weight)!

On the flip side...

I bought 3 tops and a pair of cut off trousers yesterday, all size 12. With the thought that they'd be a good incentive to slim into over the next month. After the demoralising morning I had with the scales, I was a bit wary about how I'd feel trying on clothes that were too small for me, but hoped that being just a cm or so off fitting into them would give me a boost.

Bit of a fabby NSV then, when they all fit easily, no tugging of waistband or squelching of flab required! Was tempted to take them back and get the size down, but have decided I deserve the "reward" of clothes that fit me now, as I've already hit the target of size 12 without really noticing!

looks like

I'm not going to manage a spectacular 5lb loss this week. After clawing a 3lb loss last time, despite silliness mid-week, my body has caught up with me. Showed 152lbs again this morning, so maintaining the loss of last week.

I've given up on it being the scales that are wrong. After Sam and my mum have stood on them and gotten accurate readings. Pants.

Still, I've 3 days in which I can stay on track and see a small loss come Monday. Then another week of KickStart should see some real "wow" results!

Thursday, June 25, 2009


so, went out this morning and bought a new set of scales drom the chemist, thinking I ought to stay commited to this 2nd weigh in midweek. Not feeling it was necessary as I am back on track, coming naturally, enjoying my food etc..

So, quite sure I'd see a decent loss already .. not a 1.5lb gain!!!!!!!!!!!

I am trying to talk myself down, that they are just bitchy scales and not calibrated to the weightwatchers scales (or my poor old set).


Tuesday, June 23, 2009

from fat to fit..

I have the eating thing sorted - sure, I mess up, a lot. But I *know* what to do, what is good fuel for my body, what is sugar/carb laden crap that some silly part of my taste buds think they want.. I can plan a really healthy, exciting menu each day, and have the skills to prepare and serve my family good food.

The weight is coming off, and that's great. Except after being abused for so long my body is weakened, and my muscles need some serious attention!

So, I've started exercise. I walk a lot anyway, and tend to do 90% of it with extra weight attached, in the form of my babies, and pushing around 70lbs of boy and buggy. On top of the aerobic exercise of walking 20-30miles a week, I decided it was time to start doing specific exercise to strengthen my muscles.

Came across the 200 squat challenge after seeing the image link Graized has on his blog. I took the initial test on May 2nd and barely managed 46 squats before crumbling. My legs took 3 days to stop aching and wobbling! Just a month later I completed 300 consecutive squats with no soreness afterwards.

I am at the start of week 3 of the pushups challenge, I really struggled to perform 14 a fortnight ago. On my exhaustion test this weekend I managed 25. In another 4 weeks time I will be able to do 100. Then I will start the final challenge of the 3, the 200 situps!

After discovering that the girls could manage to stay up an hour later, I decided it was time to get some time to myself. At the same time I am training my body to be able to run 5k. =) Using the podcasts by Robert Ullrey. I did my first run on Saturday. The couch to 5k program takes 9 weeks - meaning I'll be running the full distance by our anniversary weekend (just not in the wedding dress!)

1) Going to keep track of how far I walk each week, using mapmywalk, pedometer just is not reliable for me - I blame my silly short legs, the powers that be need to make a 'petite pedo' methinks.

2) 3 days a week - 15/20mins of strength exercise (Wednesdays, Fridays, Sundays).

3) 3 days a week - 45mins running (Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays).

*revised 30/06 when the shin pain hit - decided on giving my legs time to recover and strengthen before continuing the c25k.. will spend running days working on my abs. Once I'm pain free, then back to the c25k*

**revised again - too caught up in the hype of the 30 day shred, and a bit burned out with challenges.. am going to take the month leading up to my anniversary (22 July - 22 August) to complete the Shred.**

04/05/09 -- w3 200s
/05/09 -- w4 200s
18/05/09 -- w5 200s
25/05/09 -- w6 200s

200 squats completed - 02/06/09

June -July c25k

day 2 of kickstart..

and I'm peeing like I'm in my 3rd trimester! Seriously, water retention much??

All good for the weight loss though, feels like the first couple of weeks on weight watchers did. In a good way. The 2 days on seriously low points means that KickStart feels almost luxurious! I was struggling a bit yesterday, after indulging in a few (and by a few I do mean 3, not half a packet) ginger nut biscuits. With 17.5 of my points used at 5pm, dinner yet to eat and bedtimes to manage I thought I'd blown it. After trying to work out how to best stretch my 0.5 point, I remembered my secret weapon, and after a quick recap of the WW materials I had a grin on my face.

I fall into one of the categories of people who are meant to eat more on KickStart. As a breastfeeding mother (weighing under 14 stone) I get 24 a day. Wahey.

So, still 4 points less a day, and the 28 saved by the end of the week will be equivalent to having fasted for a day. I also don't use activity/bonus points. Planning to calculate them this week though, do I can see just how much points I needed to bank to hit my 5lb loss (I *will* have reached by the end of the week).

For lunch I spoiled myself with a huge toad in the hole, just 4.5 points though - 2 Sainsbury's bgty sausages (2.5), red onion, courgette and a pepper roasted in frylight, covered in batter made with 40g flour (2), egg white and 4oz water. Sooo yummy, feel well fuelled up for running later.

Yesterday was my "day off" exercise wise, every other day I now have planned either a run, as part of my c25k, or a set from whichever challenge I am currently on (100pushups for the present) but I walked 3.85 miles, 2.25 of them with 40lbs of baby wrapped onto me. Today has planned another 2.25 mile walk, as well as my 40 minute run this evening. Am going to need to organise what I am doing when to keep up with myself!

Hope you're enjoying the sun.

Monday, June 22, 2009

0 point chips..

are my new best friends come snacktime. Butternut squash (I must get through 5/6 a week, no joke) has become a very important part of my eating. I love it roasted with onion, pepper and courgette for a snack or to bulk up dinner, it works great in soup or as an alternative to mashed potato. Only this week did I think about making chips from it.

Cut into wedges and tossed in a bowl with mixed herbs and frylight and then in the oven for 20 mins. Yum!

Wow - biggest loser

Just watched the final and wow! The changes that a lot of the contestants managed to achieve inside just 17 weeks were phenomenal. Especially as a great deal of the work was done in the 9 weeks back in "real life".

A few stood out. Miriam looked amazing, had started at a weight a few lbs less than me, and I found her interesting to watch, as I could see I had a lot of stuff in common with her. She had lost nearly 25% of her start weight in 17 weeks, fantastic.

Carol, middle aged lady who came in for her daughter made me gasp. She looked like an entirely different woman. Her start weight was a pound below mine at 15st 11lbs; in just 4 months she had shed over 30% of her weight to get to 10st 12lb! That is half the time it took me!! Really astounding.

Then, of course, Kevin. He had done do well, and was unrecognisable. From 23st 8lb to 14st 2lb!! That's 132lbs off in 4 months! 40% of his start weight, gone. It was his idea to write the number of lbs to lose on his hand to keep it front and centre.. I'm on that boat!

5lbs next week is more than reasonable having these incredible losses in mind!!

week 43 - back in the driving seat

Whoop, I did it. Being extra good this weekend meant I was just 6 points over for the week, but I never count my activity points so figured I'd easily break even. Without being able to check first on my scales it was a bit nerve wracking heading to the meeting. I looked down and grinned to see the big numbers pop up. Another 1.5lbs off since Thursday.

3lb loss this week has earned me back my 10th silver 7 and pushed my BMI back down to the next point.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 26.9
Weight - 152 lbs, total of 70 gone forever. 11 til gold.

My leader made a big fuss of me this week, mostly because for the first time that she has seen me, I was wearing clothes that fit. Usually I'm in baggy stuff, not wanting to spend money on stuff that will be too big in a few short weeks. I have found a few clothes in the back of the wardrobe that fit though - today I was wearing a pair of size 12 linen trousers that I last fit into in 2003, and a size 12 top I found in Sainsburys last week for a couple of quid. Thinking about it, my mum did a quick *squee* when she saw me this morning, and said a few times I looked "skinny". Apparently the new clothes look good, hee!

Now I am again just 5lbs away from my 75lbs certificate. I know that using kickstart I could probably pull a 5lb loss out the bag this week. Like Shaz, I liked the idea that some of the contestants on The Biggest Loser used one week. They all set a goal amount to lose in that week, and kept it at the front of their minds by having this number written on their hand all week. Going to find a pen and ink myself up with a 5!

Last week of the summer slim up this week, I really want to hit my revised goal.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

RIP scales..

egads! They're only 6 or 7 months old, but have been so abused that they are dead and gone. The wiring to the battery is knackered, and I cannot begin to think what I did with the warranty.

This means I am going to WI blind tomorrow, which makes me feel REALLY nervous! Funny, because until the beginning of the new year I didn't have reliable scales at home, and wouldn't ever check between meetings.

Think that I might not replace them straight away, see whether I do better without the 3,674 sneaky peeks I have gotten into the habit of taking during the week.


it's been a busy weekend for me, and after a bit of a wobble late on Thursday, I have been super good and pulled back the points ready for WI tomorrow. Still, feeling a tad nervy about whether I've pulled it back in time to be good at the scales.. will know soon enough.

Have steered clear of the pancakes I made Sam for Fathers day brekkie this morning, and ignored the 4 packs of milk choc digestives strewn about the flat.. I didn't eat any of the spag bol I cooked for dinner an hour ago, and I have eaten good, whole foods and avoided wheat as much as possible. I am shattered!

After running yesterday, walking 10 miles in the last 36 hours and doing usual mum activities, all on fairly low points I laughed at the idea of doing the end of week 2 exhaustion test - as many good form push ups as I can until I'm exhausted? Yer, that'd be 1/2 of one then.

Knowing how pissed I'd be at myself for giving up 1/3 way into this challenge, I chucked The Black Ghosts on, and got down on the floor to see if I could hit 20.

I did 19, before Maya jumped on my back.. scooping her off I got back down and completed another 6. 25!! Whoo. My wrists hurt, but what an improvement! Means I'll be following the middle column again for week 3.

In a desperate attempt to drop as much weight as possible to get me back to my 70lbs off, I lopped 10 inches of locks from my head. Feel a lot lighter, but it made absolutely no difference to the scales, pah! Least now my routine of attempting to tame my mane, and ultimately giving up and tying it back can stop. Nice to be able to wash and dry my hair inside 5 minutes, it didn't hit me in the face while I was running and it's a lot more kid friendly.

Hoping to see 152lbs at the scales tomorrow, then am planning to do a week kickstart style, with the aim of dropping 5lbs to reach my 75lbs off. I'm really feeling like my head is back where it needs to be to be achieving some big numbers and pushing on with this weightloss, so time to really throw myself in and reap the benefits of my new found motivation!

Saturday, June 20, 2009


I've seen posts on forums I frequent, with the mysterious acronym C25K. I've seen "couch to 5K" as a thread title. I have friends who have recently begun to run regularly, and are thrilled at the new strength in their bodies, and calming time to themselves that it brings. I have longed to have an hour in a day, 3 times a week where I could do a run and shower, giving me some head space - spending some time focused on me, the ground under my feet and the music in my ears...

Today I did it. Spent a few minutes last night poking about on the C25K site. The twins are beginning to fight nursing to sleep at 7pm, they are falling asleep better if I try after 8pm, but will whine at me for milk earlier if I'm about. So I thought about how much better it would be to spend that hour of an evening running while the girls play with their brothers and dad, rather than what I have been doing - being chased about by overtired twins while I overeat in frustration.

Using Robert Ullreys podcast, I chucked some semi-suitable gear on and left all 4 (fully fed and napped) kids with Sam and took off running .. well, walking... but 5 minutes in I was running. I know from mapping my walks that to Sainsburys and back, with some winding around roads, is around 5k, so thought I'd head there and see how far I'd get in the 40mins - 8 of which were to be run, 32 walked 'briskly'. I completed the session, sweating and feeling FANTASTIC. Showering after I still felt great, with a big silly grin on my face. Was so, *so* good to get out for that bit of time and be totally selfish, uninterrupted.

Keeping with the 9 week program, I should be running the 5k for our Anniversary weekend. Sam giving me these 3 hours a week to reclaim a bit of 'me time' seems a very good pressie!

2 weeks down.. pushups are hard!

Day 1

6 - 10 push ups
set 1
set 2
set 3
set 4
set 5
max (at least 11)

Week 2 of the hundred pushups challenge. I did 15 for the last set, making a total of 51 for the day, really pleased that I pushed myself on the last set to do more. Such an improvement after just 1 week, it's fantastic!

Day 2
set 1
set 2
set 3
set 4
set 5
max (at least 13)

Day 2 complete, and I stink! After a morning of vacuuming and tidying, cooking lunch then getting down to do these pushups, my body was ready for a shower! Am pretty sure the twins both gave a sigh of relief to see me step towards the bathroom rather than nurse them first! 55 for the day, 15 again for that last set.

Day 3
set 1
set 2
set 3
set 4
set 5
max (at least 15)

And week 2 is complete. 60 today and not a hair out of place. Still find them harder than I want to, but definately noticing some increase in strength. Did 15 again for my last set, need to push that boundry next week.

Now I've reached the end of week 2 it's time to check my strength by performing an exhaustion test. Will do that tomorrow night, or Monday morning before starting week 3 on Tuesday.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Making sure I use my points wisely

After cleaning jobs were done this morning, and I had finished my exercise, it was time for brekkie.

As I waited for my porridge to cool a bit (brunette goldilocks here) I prepared my butternut squash chips, so that they'd be ready to chuck in the oven come lunchtime.

Then had a lightbulb moment. I always ate my planned lunch if I had prepped it in the morning, not wanting to waste the prepared food. What if I prepared my entire days worth of food at breakfast time? I'd be less likely to go off plan if I knew that it would mean wasting both my time that I had spent on prep, and letting good food spoil. Also would cut down on time I had to put high point foods in while waiting for my meals to be ready. If I could cut down the time between noticing I was hungry and the meal being ready that could only be a good thing.

So, I spent half an hour preparing all the fresh fruit/veg we will eat today (after taking the photo I did the kids portions too - though we eat the same veg, I cook theirs separately. Most of the time they have things differently, veg cooked in with sauce or mince and I will use olive oil rather than frylight for them).

Anyhow, so far, so good. Have had my breakfast of porridge with honey and a glass of apple juice. Snack of a cup of grapes, lunch was a yummy 1/2 butternut squash cut into chips and roasted with herbs, along with 2 sesame seed ryvita smothered in reduced fat pate and cucumber slices. Have decided what I want to do with the rest, and really think this could be a useful tool for me for a while.

Looking forward to staying on points, AND on plan today! Yay.

In one months time

I will be walking in Hyde park, along with my daughters and sister and hundreds of other women, taking part in the Race for Life. Raising funds for Cancer Research and showing off at how much fitter I am now.

11am on Sunday 19th July, London Hyde Park. Running (though I doubt I'll be running!) number 19. I am going to be carrying both the girls for the 5km. If you have an urge to part with some cash, you can sponsor us online.

Sam and the boys will be joining us and watching (and taking lots of pics of a presumbly hot and sticky me at the end!!)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

mid week WI

and I've lost 1.5lb. I've done it, back in the 10 stones by half a lb. *grin* Hoping for at least another 1.5lb for Monday morning - more would be fantastic though, if I could drop 4 this week and next then I will hit my target of 75lbs off for the end of the month, yay!

Stats as of today -
BMI - 27.2
Weight - 153.5 lbs, total of 68.5 gone forever. 12.5 til gold.

Monday, June 15, 2009

things are looking up - a nsv

I've eaten good things today. It's already 5, and the girls are asleep and nursing now I've finished making (and eating) tea, boys are happily playing and we've an hour until our evening walk to meet Sam. With 5 points left after my ryvita and salad I made myself a bowl of natural yoghurt, granola crunch cereal and some strawberries. Upon finishing the portion I wanted more. Usually, being Monday, I would make myself more and dock the points off the next day.

Not any more, I have WI in 2 days time, instead I settled down to blog. Yay, another battle won.

week 42 - damage control

After the scare of 161 staring me in the face on Saturday morning, I have been as good as gold for the weekend. Lots of water, walking and fresh foods. No going over points, even managed to save 18 as I wasn't very hungry Saturday, after the caloriefest on Friday.

Went to WI today, and got on those scales to see a loss of 2lbs from last week! Whoop. That means 6lbs down from 2 days ago - thank goodness I stopped before that weight turned 'sticky'.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 27.4
Weight - 155 lbs, total of 67 gone forever. 14 til gold.

My goal of 75lbs off for the 29th still stands, that's a fortnight to lose 8lbs. If I really push, really get my head back on track, I *think* I can pull it off. I'm going for it.

Talked to my leader about going to Thursday WIs too, but she thought that we can only WI once a week, which makes sense.. so I am going to do a midweek checkpoint myself on a Thursday morning, and track here as well as on my facebook page, to keep myself commited all. week. long. Hoping to see 10 stone - something by this Thursday and wave goodbye to the 11s for THE LAST TIME. Means losing 1.5lbs in the next 3 days, can do, easy!

Thanks so much for all the positive comments and emails. I am really grateful for the time and thought that others spend on boosting each other in bloggerland. Hope you are all enjoying the sunshine, and the scales are moving the right way! Got to catch up on my reading. =)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

pushups, week one

Eeek, my arms and abs are scary weak. I had managed a wobbly 17 on the initial test last week and so went for the 11-20 column of week 1. Ouch. Just about managed to complete the sets, but was really struggling to do those last 9.

Day 1
rest 60 seconds between each SET (longer if required)

11 - 20 push ups
set 1

set 2

set 3

set 4

set 5

max (at least 9)

45 total for day 1, but going to go with the middle column for days 2 and 3. Part of me is a bit worried that I could damage muscle if I pushed a bit too hard - something I am likely to do - it felt like I had pushed too hard today.

Day 2
rest 90 seconds between each SET
set 1
set 2
set 3
set 4
set 5
max (at least 7)

33 done, and ouch my stomach! It's p-u-l-l-i-n-g so bad. Really gutted that my body is still so broken. *Gloom* Still, this is the time where I am rebuilding, the best is yet to be. Trying to think positive - the ache and stretching is muscle being pushed to get stronger.

Day 3
rest 120 seconds between each SET
set 1
set 2
set 3
set 4
set 5
max (at least 10)

42 today - much more easily achieved than the 45 on day 1, which is promising. Week 1 complete and with 120 for the week. A year ago I couldn't pull myself up to sitting in bed, my abdomen was so weak. I am really excited about doing this and rebuilding my core strength.

I going to do it, I've got to come clean

I had another binge. A big one. There was no good reason for it other than my head was just not in the right place. I am messing about and expecting results that are just not going to be achieved the way I am eating at the moment.

Had a lightbulb moment though, a breakthrough really. Firstly I can feel that some semblance of self control is coming back. I am making the right choices more often, and just stopping myself at the last moment the majority of the time. The big binge was a fluke really, a one-off rather than being something I have done all week long. Still, it had a massive impact. Everything I ate was wheat - and it was a HUGE amount of the stuff. Really, disturbingly lots. And, because my body is so messed up and seems to have turned off the power to the hunger switch that most human beings seem to have, I didn't feel full after. I should have been bloated, eyeballs popping out struggling to catch my breath.. I wasn't at all and I would have kept going easily - but decided that I was appalled enough at the disgusting way I was jamming 1000s of calories into my body to draw a line - a really big, fat, can't possibly miss it, line - and change now.

Part of me is ashamed to have to admit here that I've done it. Again. Despite posting about a fresh start just tha day before. She wants to bury her head in the sand, and pretend all is fine. That I followed through with the new targets in mind, fire in the belly quashing any bad behaviour. That part of me would probably report a good WI this week, and keep up the pretence until reality caught up. (If it ever did, we all know what happens when you go off track and don't get real about it) That part of me is more worried to be seen failing than about actually failing myself.

I don't think, really, that being honest and getting back up and trying AGAIN, no matter how often I fall, is ever failing. I am doing this for me, first and foremost, ME. The weightloss, the blogging, it's all about giving me ways to get better, get healthy. Pretending to be somewhere on the journey I am not is silly, only causes a more difficult path for me to try and walk. What is the good of blogging to keep my head on track if I would know it's not true? Where my head is at, and being honest about how I'm feeling is really all that matters to me when it comes to using blogging as a WL tool.

Anyhow, for the sake of being honest and stuff.. Friday saw me eat a very healthy 28 points of wonderful nutritrious food. I also stuffed the following down my neck:

1/2 jar nutella spread on..
too many slices of hovis seeded loaf,
1/2 pack ryvita,
a batch of pancakes.

Then I found, and munched:
4 cinnamon and raisin bagels,
6 hot cross buns
200g granola crunch with yoghurt
1/2 pack of digestive biscuits

A lot of food, huh? Really need to write out one of my pre-WW binges, cos this is a mouses brunch in comparison. Still, I left 1 bagel, and didn't touch the kids croissants or cookies. Normally I would keep going until I physically couldn't eat anymore, or until the food ran out. I was nowhere near either of those barriers, but stopped because I didn't want to keep going. For me, this is big. Like, really, HUGE.

Course, come Saturday morning (after a night of nightmares with scales featuring prominently) I woke and found that I had put on 7 lbs from the previous morning, so back up to 161 (Oh noes). I was uber-good yesterday. I didn't eat until I felt hungry, which was at 3pm, despite hours playing in the garden and having taken the boys to rugby in the morning. This morning the scales are back down to 156.5. Going to be as good as only a very scared little WW can be today, and I will go to WI tomorrow, no matter how much the part of me that wants to impersonate an ostrich instead squeals and begs no to go.

I have a bigger plan too, going onwards, for keeping myself on track. Almost always before going over points, I find myself rationalising that I can claw the points back before WI. This leads to me overeating, and then desperately trying to pull it back before the next week. My mother has been going along to a Rosemary Conley class on a Wednesday morning for a few months now, and knowing she has that second WI looming, is not at all lax with her eating on the first days after a WW WI.

Popped onto the WW website with the thought that I'd check out whether there are any other local meetings that I could get to, to supplement my Monday morning meeting. There is one on a Thursday at 6.30, same venue as I use on the Monday. Perfect. I can meet Sam at the green on his way home, give him the halflings and then wander over to be weighed. Costs me nothing extra as a monthly pass user either. Am hoping that doing this until I am confident the I am back on track will keep my head in the right place. I'm also going to grab a fresh new journal this week. New start, fresh chart - straight diagonal line towards goal to look at each week.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

my ears are burning

or they really ought to be. Was out walking in the gorgeous sunshine that managed to break through yesterday, and bumped into Jo (a helper at the meetings), she asked if my lobes were warmer than usual, and said that she and Bridget had been talking about me the night before. I've not been for 2 weels, so fair enough. Promised to be back next week and was on my way.

Just as I was on the verge of making a silly choice food wise this morning, the post clattered in our box.. I found a note from B inside.
Dear Joy, I know you won't have given up but give me a call if you need any help or support. From Bridget.
I am so glad to have people watching me.
I have got back up and now I have to stay up.
The heat is ON.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

I'm checking in

all going good so far. On track, exercising, eating good foods, and enjoying moderate amounts of ever-so-good stuff too.

Had a tooth extracted yesterday, ouch. Not ouch enough to stop this little piggy from eating, but that's OK. Didn't respond to pre-appointment nerves by blowing points either. I very almost did, spread near half a jar of nutella over a 4 layer thick sandwich and put it to my mouth before I grabbed hold of myself and threw it in the bin. Rather have 2 quids worth of junk thrown in the black bag than 2lbs of lard clung to my hips.

Have filled belly with a bowl of porridge, ryvita and delicious toppings and the most lush HUGE raspberries, strawberries and vanilla yoghurt so far today. Off out with the halflings while it's not chucking it down, then will find something yummy to fill on to avoid the witching hour binge this evening.

Am on day 2 of my first week of the pushups challenge, and planning a sneaky peek tomorrow to see what kind of dent I've made in last weeks lardfest.

Monday, June 08, 2009

the one where I refresh the targets.

Targets left to achieve: goal dates original and revised

75 lbs off
(147lbs) 01/06/05 29/06/05
4th 10% goal (146lbs) for July
lose weight of both twins & the toddler
WW goal for gold membership (81lbs off for July) 20/07/09 Race for life
lose weight of both twins & the preschooler
sixth stone 19/07/09 (race for life) for August
lose weight of both toddler & preschooler
5th 10% goal (131lbs) 6th wedding Anniversary
seventh stone (98lbs off) 23/08/09 6th wedding anniversary
goal 100lbs off for my 26th 26/09/09

So I'm after losing the 5lbs I gained this week, ready for next - reclaiming my 5th stone lost.

Then it's another 5lbs in 2.5 weeks to meet my first new goal =)

week 41 - not quite the half a stone gain I feared.

what a week. Started with the 3rd of our childrens birthdays inside the last 2 weeks. Eldest child turned 4 on Monday. Cue a lot of party food, cake and relatives bearing fatty goodies. Day out at the farm, cake, and fish and chips for dinner.

The next day I hoovered party food down my neck while tidying from the previous weekend, and preparing myself for a hospital trip with Malachi the next day. Post-appointment I was quite well behaved food wise. Looking at the days left in the week I realised I could pull back easily, and sat and thought through how I needed to change my attitude. All good.

Thursday Sam woke up ill, I lasted until late afternoon before turning to silly eating to 'make me feel better' which of course it didn't do. Friday was a repeat of Thursday, silly strict in the morning, resulting in mid afternoon blow out.

Saturday Sam and the babies were all a bit off, I wasn't feeling good at all either, and after an AMAZING day on track, I completely lost it at 8pm after the twins woke up and wouldn't settle, and I felt like crying and/or hiding under my duvet (which, actually, would have been the way to go really) a couple of croissants and toffee pancakes later, I collapsed bloated and cross onto the sofa, under 2 sleeping babies.

Yesterday I surrendered to the fact that this week is a lost cause. We had a planned dinner at a carvery for my parents Anniversary, and I was determined to enjoy it fully. I didn't track a thing, eating all sorts of pointy foods, knowing that it was the last day in 9 weeks of pathetic half hearted weight-watching. Binge eating on day, 2 days fasting, a day on points.. all resulting in the smallest movements on the scales. I've spent 2 months maintaining, that is fine. Now it's time to get back to doing this the right way, and getting to goal.

This morning I am back to 157lbs, the same weight I was at Easter. 5lbs on, which is awful, but totally expected (yesterdays food included a full fish and chips, eclairs, double cream, fudge, pancakes and bagels) I am back on track today. Relieved to have the past few weeks over with. Really ready to turn my back on the bloated cross feeling I have after eating like I have been.

I want to be healthy. The way I feel when I am eating right is *so* fantastic. Chocolates and bits from the bakery can't compare.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 27.8
Weight - 157 lbs, total of 65 gone forever. 16 til gold.

Back to where I was at Easter - I remember now how focused I felt then. I am beginning to feel that same fire in my belly again now. I am going to re-set my goals for myself, 2 months spent messing around after the same 5lbs has meant that the old deadlines aren't really achievable now, and so aren't a good motivating tool at all.

I've gained half a stone..

well, I feel like I have, and I deserve to. Have not pointed at all for half the week, eaten a huge dinner with family yesterday, including oversized dessert.

Little to no exercise, aside from walking and taking boys to rugby. Been nursing a poorly Sam and comfort eating rubbishy foods as a result.

Really not been good at following through my newfound resolve. Reckon I've put on all the weight I'd taken the last 2 months to lose. Ugh.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

the one with the unflattering photo

since reaching my target for Easter, and receiving loads of comments on my then 65lb loss, the urgency of the previous 7 months has been lost. Spent the last few weeks chasing the same few lbs up and down.

I haven't felt the same need to be losing weight. I want to, I know that pound for pound the next 30 matter as much as the 70 already gone, in terms of my self confidence and health. Just the lack of external motivation seems to have given me excuse enough to slack off. No longer am I worrying about others judging my size, or about fitting into regular clothing. I feel normal and healthy. Feedback I get is termed in such a way as supposes I have completed my journey, that wanting to lose more might be excessive, that I can relax now.

I know I am not finished yet, but I have foolishly relaxed my efforts and am reaping the rewards. Maintenance.

That is not where I need to be, not yet. I still have 1/3 of my journey to make before I get to that stage. My motivations have changed. I have achieved many of the goals I had in mind when I started out in September, so they can't be what I think of when I need a mental boost to stick to points/get moving/not jam something calorie dense down my neck.

Looking quickly at my targets and goals list, I have plenty left to aim for. My challenges, the race for life next month, fitting into the lush clothes I have waiting in my wardrobe, a healthy BMI.. all these things really matter to me. I need to set myself new deadlines and strive to reach them, it works well for me. I have gotten a bit washy about them since not quite making the 5 stone by the girls birthday (but I did it for Seths 2 weeks later!).

When I started I wanted to lose weight to be able to fit into some of my clothing, I was too big for all of it and was uncomfortably wedging myself into Sams jeans.
I wanted to be able to sit in a booth at a restaurant, something I had newly discovered I couldn't do, and left without ordering lunch after bursting into tears of frustration.
I wanted to be able to take my kids into town and back without aching, and sweating.
I wanted to stay awake in the day, not fall asleep leaving my small children unobserved.
I wanted to sleep well at night, not wake up in agony, stiff muscles and still tired out from a night of snoring and apnea.
I wanted to be able to wear my wedding rings.
I wanted to weigh 100something lbs, not 100something kilos.
I wanted to get into a lift and not be totting up the combined weight of everyone, worrying I would stop the thing moving.
I wanted my children to have memories of me as a happy healthy mum. Not have to rely on memories to know me because I wasn't around.
I wanted to enjoy being active, to chase the kids, to run and play with them.
I wanted to fit between my babies in the car.
I wanted my husband to be proud of me, and not have to worry about my health or wellbeing.
I wanted to have extra cash to spend, not extra flab to show how I wasted our money on fast food.
I wanted to look back on photos and smile, enjoying who I was, not feeling ashamed or depressed.

Now that I've lost 70lbs my reasons have changed.

My rings and clothes fit, in fact they are too big now, and I need to shop/have them adjusted. I fit easily into car seats between my kids, get into lifts without thinking twice about weight limits, and have enough room that I can nurse my babies in booth/train seats easily. I am sleeping better than I have in years, and have more than enough energy to get through the days of activity with my brood. I feel more than able to take the boys to their rugby classes and keep up. My number on the scale no longer seems like a scary mountain I have to climb, just a hill that might get me a bit breathless!

I look back at photos now, and am beginning to enjoy what I see. I look like me again, I can begin to see someone with some confidence looking back at me. It is good. This week, for Seths birthday we went out; to a park, for a picnic and to the farm. As usual there was a lot of photo taking - looking through the photos I saw a few less than flattering ones, that really made me smile. Partly because I am happy in them, enjoying celebrating my boy. But also because I can see in these photos I do still have a way to go. All the comments I heard this weekend about not needing to lose more, or having lost plenty now were made by overweight/obese family members, but I stupidly had started to wonder if they were right. Maybe I was expecting too much, maybe I should just enjoy that caramel slice, those sausage rolls.. after all I had done *so* well... GAH!

That evening as I uploaded the photos I came across a few unflattering, but fantastic as far as being an incentive for weightloss, ones of me. This chick still has poundage to shift! Bloated waistline, extra weight around her thighs and upper arms. How much would she benefit from just a couple stone fat loss? LOADS! Her weight would be middle of healthy BMI, her waist hip ratio far better, and all her fabby clothes would fit again, whoop.

So, I am 5lbs away from my 75lb certificate, another 1lb til my 4th 10% is reached and then just 5lbs again until my goal for gold membership, and a BMI of 25. I had set my next 'dated' goal - to reach 141lbs and gold membership for when my current monthly pass runs out - July 2nd. I am going to push myself to do this.

I've just switched my subscription from monthly pass to 3 months of e-source. If I hit goal by renewal date then I'm saving 12.95 a month, but if I haven't hit 141 by July 2nd then I'll have to hand cash over at the meeting, instead of flashing my pass.. and won't have the spare coins to treat myself by getting a box of yummy WW bars in return. Eek. I don't want to be wasting that cash by eating crappy food between WIs. Interested to see if I can make this carrot-stick approach work.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah bat-wings, wobbly batwings

After an eat-a-thon yesterday, as foolish coping tool for another consultant appointment for Malachi today (I hate going to the hospital, totally stresses me out, but I know all will be fine once we're there) I am on a strict eat-really-well-and-use-my-body day today.

So instead of making buttery toast like the MBG was insisting would be the best use of my time I gave her a quick slap and got on with the initial test for the hundred pushups challenge. Very humbling to find that 17 had me in a quivering mess on the floor, my wrists screaming along with MBG for the toast option. Still, puts me in rank 3, and I could do some, instead of resorting to wall pushups (the only type I could do just 6 months ago!)

number of pushups performed
1 0 - 5

2 6 - 14

3 15 - 29

4 30 - 49

5 50 - 99

6 100 - 150

7 150 & above

Sam is home today, and watching me with eagle eyes to ensure no repeat of last nights muffin extravaganza. Birthday season is truly over now. I can back back on the WW wagon and still manage to make my next mini target of 75lbs certificate next week, and then hopefully the other 6lbs to reach gold goal for July. My mum is just a few lbs off of her gold goal, she has already cancelled her monthly pass subscription, to give her the boost to get to goal before this pass expires! Am considering doing the same.. July 1st for her, July 2nd for me.

I need to sit down and rewrite my motivation list. Reading my blog list recently it's a big theme of the moment. Lots of people going off track and scrambling madly to get back on without spending a moment to really think through why, and give them the extra energy needed to leap back with gusto. That is what I need, some excitement and energy for this again. After 9 months I need a refill on my incentives. I have changed, and so have my reasons for doing this. If I spend a few minutes thinking about what I wanted to achieve and HAVE achieved I will feel better about myself where I am now. Then I can think through where I want to be in 3 months, write the list and go for it!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Whoop, thighs of steel

I did it. Took my final test today and performed the 200 squats. Yay for the 200 squat challenge. Easy to follow and a month to the day after being in agony after completing just 46, I am able to crank out 200 without breaking a sweat! My total today was actually 300, spurred on by a second wind at about the 150 mark, and the track switching from the almost too chilled the black ghosts to SMBH. (Oh, and no fear - I'm not *that* dehydrated - sweat was very definately present by about 220!)

On May 2nd I took the initial test, and completed 46, two days later I was still sore and wobbling around on jelly knees! As per the site instructions I jumped straight in at week 3, but was a little apprehensive that I had pushed too hard, and expected to discover that I needed to pull it back to week 1 and go slow to avoid straining myself.

As it was, I was able to tackle week 3, and felt a huge improvement in strength just after those first days. Over the 4 weeks I've continued to feel my strength increase at an amazing rate. In the space of the month I have completed around 4 thousand squats.

Week 1 (3) -- 473
Week 2 (4) -- 725
Week 3 (5) -- 1,009
Week 4 (6) -- 1,253

initial test -------- 46
exhaustion test -- 180
final! test --------- 300

Now I am hooked, next I will take part in the hundred pushups training program.

Monday, June 01, 2009

40 weeks - 5 stone

After a week which included a horrid amount of bingeing and a few days of careful tracking to get back on target for weight loss, not gain, I was thrilled to finally see the number 152 on the scales this morning.

Had aimed to be here 2 weeks ago, but am happy to be celebrating being 70lbs (5 stone) lighter as well as my biggest baby turning 4. A new month today, and the last month I intend to be paying for my WW membership. I've 5 weeks to lose the 11lbs needed to reach gold goal, and free meeting!

1lb loss this week has earned me my 10th silver 7 and pushed my BMI down to the next point. Also means I am just 5lbs away from my 75lbs certificate. Fairly sure I could pull a 5lb week if I actually stick to plan this week. I can always hope, though the same record is beginning to get on my nerves. Would like to hear myself say it, and believe it.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 26.9
Weight - 152 lbs, total of 70 gone forever. 11 til gold.

Am going to be OP today. Lots of cake and a fish n chip supper planned, but I'll stay within points and make up for the empty calories with copious amounts of fresh fruit and veg the rest of the week.

Happy June everyone!