Monday, June 08, 2009

week 41 - not quite the half a stone gain I feared.

what a week. Started with the 3rd of our childrens birthdays inside the last 2 weeks. Eldest child turned 4 on Monday. Cue a lot of party food, cake and relatives bearing fatty goodies. Day out at the farm, cake, and fish and chips for dinner.

The next day I hoovered party food down my neck while tidying from the previous weekend, and preparing myself for a hospital trip with Malachi the next day. Post-appointment I was quite well behaved food wise. Looking at the days left in the week I realised I could pull back easily, and sat and thought through how I needed to change my attitude. All good.

Thursday Sam woke up ill, I lasted until late afternoon before turning to silly eating to 'make me feel better' which of course it didn't do. Friday was a repeat of Thursday, silly strict in the morning, resulting in mid afternoon blow out.

Saturday Sam and the babies were all a bit off, I wasn't feeling good at all either, and after an AMAZING day on track, I completely lost it at 8pm after the twins woke up and wouldn't settle, and I felt like crying and/or hiding under my duvet (which, actually, would have been the way to go really) a couple of croissants and toffee pancakes later, I collapsed bloated and cross onto the sofa, under 2 sleeping babies.

Yesterday I surrendered to the fact that this week is a lost cause. We had a planned dinner at a carvery for my parents Anniversary, and I was determined to enjoy it fully. I didn't track a thing, eating all sorts of pointy foods, knowing that it was the last day in 9 weeks of pathetic half hearted weight-watching. Binge eating on day, 2 days fasting, a day on points.. all resulting in the smallest movements on the scales. I've spent 2 months maintaining, that is fine. Now it's time to get back to doing this the right way, and getting to goal.

This morning I am back to 157lbs, the same weight I was at Easter. 5lbs on, which is awful, but totally expected (yesterdays food included a full fish and chips, eclairs, double cream, fudge, pancakes and bagels) I am back on track today. Relieved to have the past few weeks over with. Really ready to turn my back on the bloated cross feeling I have after eating like I have been.

I want to be healthy. The way I feel when I am eating right is *so* fantastic. Chocolates and bits from the bakery can't compare.

Stats as of today -
BMI - 27.8
Weight - 157 lbs, total of 65 gone forever. 16 til gold.

Back to where I was at Easter - I remember now how focused I felt then. I am beginning to feel that same fire in my belly again now. I am going to re-set my goals for myself, 2 months spent messing around after the same 5lbs has meant that the old deadlines aren't really achievable now, and so aren't a good motivating tool at all.


  1. I'm sure you'll see most of that go next week, hopefully most will be volume rather than weight gain, i completely lost the plot at the weekend and today it feels like i am starting all over again but i must stick to it before day one starts again tomorrow.
    Good Luck for this week, stay positive!

  2. As Joanne (above) has said....alot of that 5 might be food weight, rather than 'fat' weight. And should come off fairly easy if you keep that fire-in-your-belly you have mentioned.

    Keep that focus.

    Oh...and have a * big hug*