Tuesday, August 04, 2009

grr postie

has not delivered my graze box today. After getting all excited to snack yummies that I knew were winging my way, and them not arriving, come 11am I went to the cupboard to find solace.

There was a box of Seths granola bars, and a HUGE jar of Nutella. I ate one bar, yummy. Spread some nutella on another.. boohoo, my days planned food is ruined, that box looked so good and now it's not here! My hand moved to spread chocolate nutty good(bad)ness onto a 3rd bar, and I stopped.

I am not going down this path again, surely? Seriously, I am going to let a small box of seeds throw me off? I don't think so, no.

Instead of moping, I fished around the fridge for some 0 point veg, and knocked out a soup. 1 orange pepper, half an onion and 3 carrots chopped and boiled in a pint of gluten free bouillon, a quick whizz with the hand blender, and I chucked in some peas, mushrooms and seasoning. 2 big servings of chunky 0 point soup. After guzzling a bowl, my tummy forgot all about the nutella, and the graze box, and my mind fog cleared so I could prep lunch.

Now it's coming up to 4pm, the second of my usual witching hours foodwise.. I feel ok.. have my 2nd bowl of soup and a tuna stir fry ready to be warmed through for tea, then a fruit salad later. Am still on track. Take that disordered eating!

I faced multiple triggers
  • mental - unexpected changes to my plans, unruly kids, stuck indoors.
  • physical - hunger pangs, and trigger foods - cereal bars and nutella spread.
What I did differently today, was simply to make a choice. At the point of moving onto bar #3, where the physical hunger in my tummy wasn't in the drivers seat, and I could feel the binge gremlin getting warmed up, a glaze coming down and heard myself thinking "what the hell.." - that is the point at which I know I have a split second to decide who I will be. The woman who is doing a great job of losing her excess weight and reclaiming her health, body and mind? Or the mad, bad girl who wants to shovel endless calories, fats, and flavours down her throat to get her 'fix' regardless of who it hurts.

What I wanted was to comfort eat, I was truly hungry, and feeling a little sad and low.. so I found my body some foods that *would actually* provide comfort, satiate my hunger and leave me in a better state, physically and mentally. It is that simple. One good decision after another... this is what this week is about for me. Finding the alternatives, and coming out the other side feeling content and fulfilled, not bloated and guilty, or prideful but deprived.

If I can't be moderate, I can go for balanced! I don't need to be perfect, I need to make good choices most of the time, leaving room for my moments of madness.


  1. you did awesome with that- i gave in to my own gremlins yesterday i really need to get my head in gear!

  2. way to stare down the nutella ! you are like a chocolate ninja!

  3. Way to check yourself, Joy. Your head really seems to be in the game...