During a run, on the other hand..
Constant dialogue runs through my head, despite my ipod being turned up so far my eardrums are doing their own Zumba class.
I try desperately to think of anything but running, to imagine I'm off somewhere else, hoping that miles of tarmac will pass underfoot, unnoticed.
It starts with me thinking about the state of the pavement
Seriously, I passed 3 Curry houses, 2 chipshops, a kebab house, a Chinese, a fried chicken place, a Bangladesh restaurant, a sandwich shop, a coffee/bakery and a greasy spoon on my run last night. 12 takeaway vendors inside less than a mile.'Oh, it's rained, don't slip into traffic. That would be embarrassing. Can imagine the headline "local obese woman dies while
running joggingattempting exercise" Oh.'
'Don't stand on the snails.. I wonder how fast snails actually move, proportionally. Am I *actually* even going faster, once you get me to scale? How depressing.' crunch
'Oops. Well. I'm the faster one now, for sure..'
'Oh good, we're at the horse field already. Ugh. Horse shit. Oh, agh. Really, don't slip in the horse shit and land under a car. That would be even worse.. "Shit covered local obese woman..."'
'Right, stop thinking about running, or death. One I am doing, one I'm not. End of subject. Think of how many calories I'm burning. Must get extra for the amount my arse is jiggling. I could probably literally wobble the fat off if I went fast enough. Ugh, I hope I get faster when I'm lighter. I wonder what the relational rate of weightloss/speed is? Would be awesome to know. 4 stone to lose still, if my kpm got a minute faster per stone I could run 5k in 20mins? Hmm, maybe not.'
'Oh yuck, takeaway food smell. Really would be easier if I wasn't gulping lungfuls of exhaust fumes, secondhand smoke and chip fat while running. Blugh.'
'Seriously, HOW many people are getting takeaway tonight? It's Monday. I've seen no-one else running, 3 people walking, everyone else in cars/buses/waiting for food. No wonder we're all getting flabby, people will be driving to fetch their takeaway soon. Egads, they are!'
The good thing, was that for all that my body didn't want to be running, I wanted to be eating in one of those places less. That's some real change of mindset for me.