Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sloshy belly

getting back into my groove, slowly inching my way back in. Eating is better, not weightloss better, but an improvement. I'm moving and went for another quick jog.

The Wii has died :( so I can't use wii fit, but think I can still weigh on the wii fit channel? Will have a proper poke around at it soon.

The big yay is that I'm back on top of my water drinking, it had slid a little, though on the handful of days I didn't manage my 3.5litres, I was still getting at least 2 (8 glasses).

Starting back on the shred tomorrow, and oddly enough am looking forward to it.

Will read that in a few days and scoff at myself I bet!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

week 109 - fail

am blaming the post holiday/muse/illness high, fell into a fog of 'meh' last week. Struggled to do much past the bare minimum in terms of living. Lots of laundry and cleaning house, not much else. I ate badly, on my birthday (Sunday) I ate LOTS of wheat, including more than one piece of cake and drank a bottle of wine to myself.

Hello bloat.

Realised on Monday it was 3 weeks since I went for a real run. I'd been for a few half arsed jogs, but it's not close to enough. Everything has gone a bit mushy. I'm barely drinking enough water, I'm staying up too late reading, I'm not running/exercising properly and I'm definately not being mindful of my eating.

So this week sees a 6lb bloaty gain. 11lbs up from pre-holiday weight. Um, oops.

Today I've got up, fed kids, showered and dressed and drank water then eaten my breakfast. Going to hope the weather holds and take halflings to the park for some conker hunting. Plotting a run tonight and tomorrow before restarting the shred on Friday.

Am also going to photoblog my food this week, just so I can break the habit of shovelling food in without thinking.

Friday, September 24, 2010

All caught up

with my blog, getting back on track, the laundry (as much as I ever am), the paperwork (the pile is not taller than me anymore) and the bills (meaning I know exactly what we owe where..)


back to reality.

Going to run tomorrow, for real. It may have to be a quickie, but trainers will pound pavement within the next 24 hours. I want to see a loss next week!

I'm aiming now for getting to my weightwatchers gold goal/141lbs/a BMI of under 25 for the New Year. That gives me 3 months to lose 38lbs. I want to go back to meeting when I get well into the 150s again, hopefully around mid November. So I can get my 75lbs certificate and have the incentive of gold membership/free weigh ins to keep me on track.

My mum has rejoined this week after slowly regaining 15-20lbs herself. She's gone to a Wednesday group, so we can weigh in together for now, me with the Wii until I get close enough to goal to go.

Short term goal is to Shred and shed for October. I want to get to my 4th stone (back) off for the last weigh in of October.

Exciting news.. quick everyone. Eat!

Saturday 18th-Sunday 19th

My brother has gotten engaged. Well it happened a week ago, but I've been busy, so today it really sank in. Mostly because the family went out to celebrate. That's me and my tribe, my parents, my brother and fiancee and my sister and her EmoBoy.

Nom nom nom. Some yummy pub food and knickerbocker glory (which I managed to klutz over and ask our waiter for some knickerboxers, sigh) later and we trampled home. A couple of hours later I went down to my parents for a champagne buffet dinner and chatter about wedding clothes etc.

Fun, but calorific. And no real exercise outside of the 45mins easy walking.

The next day was a shared roast lunch at our flat for everyone, more wedding chatter and enjoying all 12 of us being together to celebrate my birthday a week early. Celebrating my birthday seemed to consist of my dad going on and on about me not being a 'young adult' anymore, and being in my late twenties. Shouting '27!!!' at random intervals was also a popular pastime for the day. Though I don't relish the fact that my 20s thus far have been somewhat eclipsed by breeding, I am not ridiculous enough to feel that 20-anything is an age to sob into my stuffing about, so I just enjoyed my roast and tried to pretend not to know the calories 0_0

Center Parcs

Monday 13th-Friday 17th

Packed up and out on the Monday by 1030, I was still shattered, and looking forward to sitting down on the longer train for an hour or two. Didn't happen as the train was packed!

Had a lovely week, though it flies by and we were very aware of how much the break was costing. The younger three have never been swimming. I had taken Seth before, but with Maya being terrified of the bath until a few months ago we had never attempted to go as a family. A swim at our local pool would cost £20-30, too much to spend for 5mins splashing and a tantrum!

Turns out they all loved it. Seth had some new armbands and doggy paddled loads. Going to have to find the ASA website for those swimming badges kids get at school. It's one of the few awards I remember feeling really proud of achieving! Malachi, rather than freaking at the water dove right in. Literally. Paddling away into the deep end with no floatation device. Monkey. The girls were reluctant to let go of me at all, so that meant that wherever I went I was swimming with no arms, which is surprisingly hard to do for 2 hours at a time!

I did not shred, because I forgot the DVD *headdesk* but honestly, we were busy all. day. long. There were no 20mins spare because I was too busy and active. Swam 2-4 hours each day, walked lots, went for 2 runs through the forest. It was fab.

Slideshow N. (not really) B. - it is kinda out of order, and mostly goes backwards... but whatever.

Although I did not hit my goal of a bmi <30 for the holiday, I got bloody close! Weighing 174lbs, I was 5lbs away, and down 30lbs since June. I felt whale like in the pool, but whenever I caught sight of myself I was pleased at the fact I felt like more of an Orca than a blubbery Blue.

June - squeezing 200+lbs in, just. Ouch. September - fitting, circulation in limbs useful when swimming.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

the mighty weekend of Muse

Friday 10th-Sunday 12th

After struggling through snot-ville for a few days, by Friday my throat was feeling a bit better, and I'd stopped sneezing. Sam was off work, and I was beyond reason with excitement. Set off for my friends house by midday as I was bouncing around the flat and winding the kids up.

I wore the dress that was my 'fit into it by my birthday' goal. While I felt incredibly self conscious, I also really enjoyed wearing something that looked how I felt, if that makes any sense. Spending time with my friends, without our children to look after/amuse/feed/get home for bed was so much fun, and something I've not done since my teens. No, really!

I did just forgot calorie counting, eating hotdogs (big rank ones that my body evicted the next day) and drinking alcopops and fizzy drinks and caffeine. I was totally hyper and very, very happy.

Screamed and bounced our way through many hours of live stadium music, then squeezed home by 2am. Sam had managed to get all 4 to bed, (I have spent a week with very needy girls after the source of 'boobies' disappeared) so I scooted in, fed the girls 3-4 times each by 6am and then headed back out before any of them realised I'd been back.

Grabbed my my sister on the way to the station at 6.30am we went and queued outside Wembley. Rain, sushi, long toilet queues and after 8-9 hours of sitting on wet sloping concrete we were in, and *so* close, we could touch the barrier. Disaster struck, in the form of horrendous cramps and feeling very sick. After an hour of standing I felt awful, realised there was no way I was going to make the 3 hours until Muse, and tears-in-eyes explained where I'd meet my group after the gig and jumped/pushed my way out.

Bloody hot dog!! I enjoyed the Saturday gig loads, but argh. If I'd just eaten properly the day before I'd have had an immense experience. To add insult to injury, I had to dash out during the encore because my period finally showed her fugly face. 3-4 weeks late. Muse were awesome, obviously.
Sunday I was dead, felt so grotty it was wrong. But did final packing for holidays and then cleaned the flat with Black Holes and Revelations giving me a post-gig high.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

week 108 - 5lbs

OK, so 5lbs is a big gain. I know that any other week I'd be wailing but I'm really flipping happy with this.

I've gone 2 weeks without weighing/tracking, I've been on holiday, eating out, eating desserts, eating wheat, barely running. And I've *only* gained 5lbs. Wow.

Week 108 - 5lb gain
43lb total loss

I weighed myself on the Thursday before Muse and saw a STS. After a week of shredding, being full of cold and 3 days pre-period that was fab.

Back on plan from today, hoping to be rid of these lbs by October so I can blast the 30lbs to a healthy BMI over the last 3 months of this year.

The shredding has not happened, what with having a mega cold, then holiday, then poorly babies that won't give me 10 minutes without needing snuggles. I will rejoin the challenge for October, though I am doing 20mins activity a day, so I'll keep on top of that for the last week of this month.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

week 4 #ddgbd

Start weight 179lbs, weight now ???

Goals from now until December:  (in green if done this week)

  1. Drink 3.5litres (14 glasses) of water a day. - big oops. One day at CP I *only* drank 8 glasses.
  2. Complete 10k run.
  3. Complete 100 Pushup Challenge.
  4. Get back into size 10 clothes.
  5. Go out to socialise (that's me, not my kids) / email/phone someone *just* to be sociable every week - (this could be hard! I can tend to be a hermit). - went night swimming with my siblings and friend :)
ONE brag for the week: I went into that swimming pool, in front of people I know well and enjoyed myself. Another prison wall that I'd let the fat build around me broken down.
ONE thing to improve upon for next week: Got to get back on top of tracking/weighing etc.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Realised none of the posts I set up to keep the blog alive have published - probably because I saved them as drafts!

Will fill gaps at the weekend but main points are

I'm not lagging

I had a cold and chose to let go of shred each day in order to not burn out - nsv for me - moderation.

I have done 20mins (way more most days) of activity daily.

I had a STS at weigh in on Wednesday - full of cold, PMS bloating and retaining water from the week of shred!

I went to see Muse 2 nights running at Wembley Stadium, returning home for 4 hours to grab some shuteye and feed babies. I was KNACKERED, but wow was it good!

Monday we went to centerparcs, where I am now rushing this on the sliver of WiFi my iPhone just found!!

Back on Friday, lots of pictures and updates coming. Including the dreaded swimming cossie pics! 0_o

Hope everyone is having a super September!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone and a sliver of WiFi in a big forest

Sunday, September 12, 2010

week 3 #ddgbd

Start weight 179, weight now 174

Goals from now until December:  (in green if done this week)
  1. Drink 3.5litres (14 glasses) of water a day.
  2. Complete 10k run.
  3. Complete 100 Pushup Challenge.
  4. Get back into size 10 clothes.
  5. Go out to socialise (that's me, not my kids) / email/phone someone *just* to be sociable every week - (this could be hard! I can tend to be a hermit).
ONE brag for the week: Wore what I *wanted* to go out and have fun, didn't hide myself ashamed.
ONE thing to improve upon for next week: Keep activity levels up while away, it's not all or nothing, I can be on holiday and not 'on plan' without becoming a crazy sofa dwelling binge monster!

Tuesday, September 07, 2010


I have a headcold. I think it's better today, it needs to be gone by The Weekend Of Incredibleness or I'll throw the biggest sulk in the history of pre-menstrual stroppage.

On Sunday I did the shred twice, back to back. It hurt, I died. The end. I had noticed that day that Seth and Kai got a bit snotty towards evening, but chose to ignore it. Monday I woke with a tight head and scratchy throat and wanted to eat everything with flour that I could think of. By mid afternoon I was sneezing everywhere, all 4 kids were a bit whingy and snotty too. I waited until Sam got in and went out for a walk, I had wanted to run, simply because I hadn't for nearly a week, and don't want to slip backwards. After walking 5 mins in the drizzle I started to jog, more to keep warm than anything. I told myself I'd not push, just do 2km. After 5km I stopped. I felt better for the run, and the guilt of having eaten several chocolate foodstuffs was a little less heavy on my heart too.

Today I am feeling less weighed down by the cold. But my throat and ears are all itchy, blugh. Maya has a swollen cheek/lip on one side, looks a bit sad to be honest. Other than that all appear a bit better, eating normally etc.

I am NOT going to shred today, because as a few wise friends have pointed out, pushing myself too hard while ill isn't going to do anything but eff up all the work I've done if I have a meltdown. I need to be well for the weekend. That means today I shall keep active, but not push myself to the point of exhaustion. I can always 'catch up' a shred or two down the line, Or I can count the 40mins running yesterday as day 6 & 7 activity, eh?

I've a feeling I've gained this week. Between having been expecting my period for the last 2.5weeks (another thing that I would really like to happen BEFORE Muse and a week of swimming), eating dougnuts at the weekend, having eaten over my 'allowance' every day and having shredded my muscles to the point of stiff painful 2 day aching all over... I reckon the scales will not grace me with a miracle loss this time.

But, my body is getting littler. I was musing about what to wear on Friday, as we'll be in seats for the first gig. My friend was discussing her wardrobe plans and I immediately thought of the dress I want to fit into for my birthday in 3 weeks time. I went to try it on to see if it was closer to zipping up. I actually let out an audible squeak when it not only zipped up, but felt comfy, not-tight, perfect.

Sunday, September 05, 2010

week 2 #ddgbd

2. start weight 179, weight now 174
3. Goals from now until December:  (in green if done this week)

  1. Drink 3.5litres (14 glasses) of water a day.
  2. Complete 10k run.
  3. Complete 100 Pushup Challenge.
  4. Get back into size 10 clothes.
  5. Go out to socialise (that's me, not my kids) / email/phone someone *just* to be sociable every week - (this could be hard! I can tend to be a hermit).

ONE brag for the week: Started the 30 day shred, and kept going even though it HURT.
ONE thing to improve upon for next week: Enjoy the outdoors with the kids more while it's still warm enough to do it!

Looking backwards

is usually not a good idea when you are trying to forge a path to somewhere new. It's proven a worthwhile exercise today though.

Spent the day in Reigate Priory Park, one of the kids' favourite playgrounds. It's a short walk from my MILs house, and had a £6million makeover in recent years. Lots of different play structures, sand, water and a pirate ship - lots of fun. I remember first going over when the girls were 5-6months old and they'd just sleep/nurse in a wrap on me as Sam watched Kai and Seth played. Last summer the girls started to join in on the ground, I had lost a significant amount of weight and was enjoying being out in the sun, playing.

I felt self conscious this weekend. All the time I was losing weight I saw myself as the very obese me, needing to lose weight. Then when my head finally caught up to where my body was, I was gaining the weight again. Even though my body was again obese, in my head I was the woman who had lost 5 stone.

The last couple of months I've been thinking of myself as the obese woman who has regained most of her weight. The failure, as fat and unfit as she ever was. Slowly, ever so slowly, that's changing. I realise that to be able to run 5k I can't be totally unfit. To be fitting back into clothes I hadn't done since having any of my kids, I can't be as fat as I'm seeing myself. To be setting goals and achieving them, or getting damn close I can't be classed a 'failure'.

Was looking through pics from last year and found one of me feeding the girls at a halloween slingmeet last year. I remember feeling happy, even though I had put weight back on and had a way to go I was 'on it' and felt like the girl who was winning at weightloss and fitness. I was *smiling* at the camera! Sam even muttered something about how happy I had seemed at that point. I feel that happy now, but not with the state of my body. I looked at that picture and wished I was that size again. I thought to give myself a boost, I'd check to see how far I have to go to get there. Late October last year, I had returned to meetings after gaining 30lbs, and weighed in at 178lbs. Hang on.. 178lbs. I'm lighter now??! OK. So then I uploaded the pics from Sams iPhone, and saw what I really look like now. Not the blob in my head. Overweight, yes. Needing a bit more sun on that scary pale skin, very yes. Unfit, failing and a big fatty? Not really. If I saw another woman my size I certainly wouldn't be so cruel in my judgement, I'm sure.


Saturday, September 04, 2010

week 105 - late

Week 105 - 3lb loss
48lb total loss

BMI - 30.9
Weight - 174lbs. 5lbs to holiday goal.

An OK week this week. Not the mad 'must hit my goal' scramble it could have been, but I think that is good. I went out with my kids, I spent a day at a friends, I went with Seth to central London for a meet and through it all the 'diet' didn't interfere with my life. I worked out, I tracked my calories but most importantly I balanced things. 
Completed the awesome august challenge and got ready (sat in a corner rocking) to start the 30 day shread. Don't know what I'll do about running while Shred is on, will see how my body copes.

Drank 98 glasses of water, drinking much less than 3.5 litres (14 glasses) a day now I get a mild headache, wondering how many migraines I'd not have had to suffer if I'd been drinking enough! 505 minutes walking, 95 minutes (12.5k) running, 133 mins Wii fit (whoop), 52 pushups and 224 reps with handweights. 
Averaged over the week I had 1770 calories a day.

There's just over a week now until my 'goal deadline', our family holiday and the Muse stadium gigs. 10 weeks ago I was well back into being obese. I weighed it, ate and acted it. Now there's just 5lbs left to be back in the 20s for BMI. I'm so much stronger, I'm healthy. I'm down 30lbs in 2 months.  Even with less than a 5lb loss next week, I'll be wearing a smug grin at what I have managed.

Friday, September 03, 2010

phoning it in

had to look up the meaning of the phase, after Jillian spitting it at me several times over the last three days. Had to restrain myself this evening, as the urge to throw my dumbell through the screen - after she accused me of the phoning thing - was strong.

definition - 'phoning it in'

to give a poor performance; not to try very hard
Now I'm concerned, in that I probably do give a poor performance, but I really am trying very hard!! I've been exercising lots in the last 2 months. Lots of running, wii fit, starting strength training. The Shred really pushes me. Doing Abs is so hard, but feels great to know my muscles there are finally healed and getting stronger again. My entire body is wrecked, I ache. I was so, so tempted to not Shred today - but have anyway.

not phoning it in...
Have had a fun week, it's gone by fast, and I am shattered. So ready to rest this weekend, before the big whirlwind of the next one hits!

On Bank Holiday I took Seth out shopping for swimming cossies, as I realised only Seth and I had any! Tuesday I took just my biggest with me to the RFH on Southbank, to a slingmeet (oh, how I've missed these meets!) and finalised(ish) plans for next Friday. 

The Muse tickets have all (finally) arrived, so now I know what I'm doing when. There's no way I'll fit in a shred on the Saturday (day 11) as I'll be out from dawn until midnight. Will do two lots one day midweek to 'catch up' or something. Reckon all the bouncing around should be as much, if not more, of a workout. (Or does decent music mean I'm phoning it in, Jillian?? :p )

Have had a few comments about how much weight I've lost (again) which is nice, I am almost forgetting sometimes where I am on this 'journey' - the fact that I am getting healthier and stronger is much more of a priority than it has been ever before. Someone will ask how much I've lost, and I'll answer 'Oh, around xx, but I can run, and I have started weights. Hey, do you use freeweights? Show me, show me!'

Seth informed me, after I weighed in 2 days ago, that I'm 'getting smaller, not too fat anymore now, not small yet, but between them both. A small fat mummy, or a fat small mummy. Your belly does not jump when you jump.' Praise indeed!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Shredding September..

starts today. I have my pair of 2kg weights, and my dvd. And the knowledge that it is only 10hours total - I have survived birthing 4 children, I can do this.

****************** UPDATE - Shred is dead, long live the alternative plan.. as I got a cold, moshed a lot then went on holidays without Jillian, I'm going to instead aim for the 20 mins a day activity, and do the Shred thing properly in October. When I'm not out for a 72 hour stretch, on going on an activity holiday, or dying of man-flu....******************************

I am going to weigh and measure myself first thing each morning, every 10 days.

day 1 :
  • weight - 174lbs
  • bust - 43"
  • waist - 32" (35" over the baby belly)
  • hips - 43"
  • upper arm - 12"
  • thigh - 25"
I will complete the 20 minutes of Level 1 each day for 10 days, and update here as I go. Hopefully in 30 days this will be a v-e-r-y long post.
  • day 1 -  Got to the end of the first circuit and was sweating. A Lot. Midway through the second circuit I was certain I'd not finish. The third I enjoyed. Bizarre. Best moment was during the 3rd circuit of cardio, Seth looked at me concerned and asked 'does all this jumping make you hurt??' Yes baby. Yes it does.
  • day 2 - ouch ouch, my legs are stiff, but I did it. *and* an hours 'running' on the Wii fit. Too scared to go out and run incase my legs totally seize up on me.
  • day 3 - I feel like it should be easier, but it's not. My entire body was throbbing all day, so I waited for Sam to be home before I began. In case I really needed to just lie down and be a bit dead afterwards.
  • day 4&5 - Missed doing Shred on Saturday, as we were out from mid morning until around 10pm, so I did 2 sessions back-to-back on Sunday morning. Well, I stopped for 5 minutes to unload/reload the laundry.. but yeh, pretty much back to back. And then I died a bit. My boys are really watching me I've noticed. Kai is interested in the Abs stuff and will sit over me watching my stomach wobble work, Seth is ready to criticise any and every time I modify moves. I've a feeling I'm not going to be allowed to get big again without hearing about it from the men in my life... it's a good thing.
  • day 6&7 - no Shred because house has manflu - decide to at least do the 20mins activity a day 40min run on Monday.
  • day 8&9 - packing and walking, an easy 2 days before the madness of Muse.
  • day 10 - 2 hours actively walking, 4 hours bouncing around to live music.
  • day 11 - another 2 hours walking, 8 hours queueing in rain and 4 hours bouncing around to live music.
  • day 12 - died of exhaustion on bus after 6 hours sleep in 3 days. Another 2 hours walking.
  • day 13 - seriously. Broken. Record. 3 hours + walking while carrying baby and/or luggage, unpack and laugh manically when I discover I forgot to pack Jillian. 20 minute run.
  • day 14 - 1-2 hours walking and 2 hours swimming.
  • day 15 - 3 hours swimming and some walking too. Another 20min dash through the forest.
  • day 16 - 3.5 hours swimming and 2 hours walking.
  • day 17 - At least 4 hours walking and 2-3 hours spent playing in adventure playground with kids. Travelling from villa to home took over 12 hours, stopping at activity parks, station with picnic on the platform, 4 trains, and an uphill walk via my parents house before getting home at 10pm.
  • day 18 - 1 hour walk.
  • day 19 - I stayed in damn it. There's enough there to cover me. I'm dead.
  • day 20 - back to the grindstone. Kids have post-holiday grots. I do 3 hours housework (hoovering, dusting. scrubbing)
  • day 21 - an hour tidying the basement - sweaty work
  • day 22 - 4-5 hours deep cleaning our bedroom. Involves moving wardrobes and chest of drawers with entire familys clothes in, 2 double mattresses and one single and hoovering under each, cleaning down skirting and walls and then collapsing in a heap in a much cleaner bed.
  • day 23 - another day 'off' as I'm well in credit, no? Really couldn't do much as twins are both post-cold and nursing all. day. long. Should count as activity IMO.