Sunday, November 28, 2010

6 months from now

I'll be stood with my sister as her grrrl of honour (I don't qualify to be a 'maid' and there's no way I'm being described as 'matron') as she gets hitched to her Emoboy.

I'm going to be in a dress, most likely a champagne toned one. I can't be fat. My sister and all the other bridesmaids are taller and younger. I don't mind being short and old. I would mind scoring the hat trick by being fat.

Dressember starts on Wednesday. By the end of the month I hope that I'll be getting rid of the trousers I'm in now! I've got around 20 dresses/skirts now. Totally outside my comfort zone, but I'm excited to do it. Join us on twitter #dressember or find the ever growing page on Facebook. ^_^

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Monday, November 22, 2010

Happy Monday!!

Feeling very very much more human today. Going to really go for it, these last days of November, break back into the 180s ready for December.

Had spotted the link to Dressember on facebook a few times over the weekend, and after joining this evening I've jumped onto ebay and bid on the first 10 dresses I found. Been meaning to crack on with my 27 dress challenge, this should help! I have worn dresses out. To the cinema, out to the pub and to the o2 last week. I just forget to do the photo evidence bit. Anyway, if you fancy it, join the page and the fun. Shake up your jeans and tee routine and dress up December ^_^.

Also noticed something a bit wow-ish, as I came in past my 'dashboard', this blog has 100 readers. 0_0 Wow. Thanks guys. You keeping an eye on me is a huge factor in keeping me from falling down and staying down. When I get back to healthy it's going to be something I owe each of you a little bit for. <3

Lastly, for now, my new running shoes are here. My well loved, got me into running, through the c25k anddid my first 5k Sauconys are too big. As I ran and lost a bit of weight my feet have dropped a size ??! Weird, no? Had a discount code to use and LunarGlides were down to around 60 quid, so I bought some, and a Nike+ sensor thingummy. Plotting to get out today and do at least a 2k, know that I may well struggle after 'couching' for so long though.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Cotton wool head, cotton wool legs. That was fun. Wasn't it??!

Currently nursing the tail end of the biggest hangover I've had ever. I must be getting on, used to be able to drink myself unconscious and wake up fresh. 10 years and 4 kids have made their mark on my metabolism!!

Used all my weekly flex points yesterday. Spent the day at Sheerness with Seth, visiting my Nan. In the afternoon I took him to the seafront to watch the ships come out the Thames estuary out to the North Sea, and collected a load of mussels, cockles and other shelly things!

Then rushed home to meet the rest of the tribe to go to the annual light switch on at the village green. Funfair, mulled wine, roasted chestnuts and overpriced glow sticks a-go-go!!

Got in and had half an hour to clean up before my mate came to pick me up for our night out. Met up with my sister and her girls at the pub and settled down with 6 or 7 (that I remember) bottles of Zinfandel.

We weren't chucked out until nearly 1am as the barman was a friend of a friend. Staggered in at around 2am (apparently) and collapsed.

Had eaten a baileys cheesecake, some ham and celery all day.

I was WASTED. Actually had to wear sunglasses to walk outside to go for our family lunch at my parents. Then lay on their floor groaning. Figured it'd make them feel nostalgic or amused. Either worked for me as long as I was able to stay horizontal.

4 aspirin, 3 litres of water and a 3 hour lay down later and the fermenting barrel in my mouth has gone and I've got my land legs back on.

Decided to try and start the 200 squat challenge again. So went and did a exhaustion test. Hit 201 and realised that my body may be fatter than it was 18months ago, but it is also a lot stronger!!

Now to knuckle down and play golden girl weightwatcher for the next 4 days...

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

First week of ProPoints

Am waiting for meeting to start, will blog 'better' later.


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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

day 6.. bumbling through

I've made so many mistakes this week with the new points. Really haven't a clue how it's affected my weight.

That said, I feel better. I've stayed active, have chugged my 3.5 litres of water and stayed free of wheat for the last nearly-week. I stuck to the 30 points the leader gave me for the first 2 days, but between the drop in calories and blood loss I hit a real low on Sunday afternoon. Kept near passing out and got REALLY trashed on half a bottle of champagne. Not so great.

E-source worked out that feeding one baby who was also eating solids I should be on 38 points, a fully breastfed baby would mean I got 44 points. I figure 2 toddlers must fall somewhere between the two, if not at the 44 point mark. Next week I shall go with the 38 points and see how I feel.

This week I guess I am over by 60 points, even having used my 49 flex points (Paramore gig at the o2 = a couple of bottles of wine)

BUT, I have been having FUN. I have been out dancing, have made plans to see friends this weekend, have even really pushed out of my bubble and applied for a temp job next spring during the census.

Several times I've been on the brink, but each time I have managed to talk myself down. Less of the 'trapping/punishing the fat binge girl' and more gently talking myself away from the things that will just hurt me more.

Just now I had finished my SiftAbility application for this job. Feeling a bit weirded out by the whole paid-work idea (it's been 7 years!) I headed to the kitchen and was about to attack a pack of hot cross buns. The newer calmer me emerged long enough to decide instead on a punnet of grapes and 1.5litre of water to fill on. So here I am, munching away, not having 'ruined' anything. Very thankful for the 0 point fruit that means I really can grab and run at those moments now! If I'd had to weigh out my portion, I think that may have required too much control!!!

Looking forward to getting weigh in done tomorrow, hopefully be down a lb at least, because I must have been bloated due to hormones last time.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

did something a bit clever

and went back to meetings.

It's been 6 months. I've gone up and down. I know weightwatchers works, I did bloody well last time.

Got an email waxing lyrical about the new ProPoints plan starting this week, so I thought I'd tag along with my mum to her Thursday night meeting.

I was hoping to still be the 'right' side of 200lbs. I got on those scales at 6.30pm and saw 199.5lbs. And laughed.

I'm muddling along with the new system, I love the idea of looking at how the body uses the nutrients rather than limiting based on cals/fat. I also really like the weekly allowance as a safety net.

Chucked out all my outdated stuff, really giving myself a fresh start. Not going to delete any of the old numbers here, but am going to try and forget which week number I'm at!

I'm also counting my loss from my highest ever (non pregnant) weight of 232lbs/16st 8lbs. My new leader, Lynne, has my start weight at 199.5, going to have to change that! As it is my 5% goal is to lose 10lbs, I'll manage that by the end of the month.

New goal is to get to 'overweight' by Malachi's 4th birthday. That's 30lbs in 10 weeks.

A *big* incentive for me was announced today. My sister is engaged. Wedding in 6 months. Me as a bridesmaid. Eeek. I want to be down 60lbs by then! Skates on Ms!

Friday, November 05, 2010

Promises, promises

I've made a few..

Here's a new one. No matter how often I screw up, I won't give up.


I made a lot of plans when I last posted. A few of my friends made noises about me maybe doing that Monica Geller thing again. Going a little OTT and setting myself up for a nose dive.

Turned out to be more of a belly flop. The minute one domino wobbled, the while pile went clattering down. I pushed myself to the brink of exhaustion. Then got a cold, my routine fell apart, I went on holiday.

If coming back from holiday I had just had to deal with the teeny 5pm gain, I'd have been back to where I wanted within a fortnight.

As it was I came back to a run down me. Having eaten wheat. Having not kept up with water challenge. Behind on the Shred challenge. Behind on running. Behind on the DDGBD. AND 5lbs up.

All those unnecassary challenges threw me. Now I've finally talked myself back down, 2 months later. I'm up another 15lbs and have been dehydrated until last week. Running has not happened. I'm feeling totally down on myself and the only exercise I've been involved in is the cycle of binge eating.

The last week I've slowly worked through, in my head, what to do.

Back to calories, 6 200cal meals a day. Drink water. Run every other day. Blog.

And I've bought a full length mirror..

No more hiding.

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