Friday, January 28, 2011

New diet plan - get body-modding

Monday afternoon I parted with £50 - part as a deposit for my tat done yesterday, partly as payment to *finally* redo my tongue piercing.
I had it done first when I was 15, it grew out when I was 6 months pregnant with Seth and it's one Ive always, always wanted to get re-pierced. Favourite piercing in the whole world.

My sister and I went on Monday and walked out lisping at each other about milkshakes and ice. 4 days on and I'm still blending everything that I need to consume. It's making sticking to my calories easier, as I can't just grab and munch.

Starting to really go down now, thought I remembered it taking 2 weeks before, but I was younger, and drinking & smoking a fair amount..

To add insult to injury I got the tat done yesterday afternoon. A couple of wince worthy patches on the shoulder blade, but only took 1.5 hours to finish, so not bad at all. Did mean I turned up at weigh in with blood coming through the back of my top, worried the leader a bit..
It's the greek for 'Zoe', I've spent 7 years promising myself I'd do it. Finally saved the cash and followed through for myself. Hoping 2011 is the year for fulfilling promises to myself.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

week 126 - you get what you put in,

Stuck to my calories this week, continued to be a little more active. Cut the wheat. After losing 10lbs the previous week I was wary of aiming for the 3lbs weekly loss I'm hoping for, but it happened. ^_^

201lbs - down 3lbs this week
down 31lbs total.
49lbs to wedding goal
BMI - 35.6
17 weeks until the wedding

My *ultimate* goal would be to be in the 10 stone bracket for my sister's wedding. I know I'm still a bit plumper than I like at that weight, but I wouldn't feel conscious of it wearing the dress she's picked. That needs a 3lb loss pretty much every week. At a 1lb loss every week I'd be down to a 14, so either way a massive improvement on being a size 20 again.
Measured myself yesterday and I am now back to a 16. Thought as much after my new size 18 jeans (picked up for 2 quid at Sainsburys) kept falling down on Tuesday.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Ran. I really ran.

Been putting it off for weeks. Dreading how slow/painful it'd be after months of not running.

Bit the bullet last night, laced myself up, got the iPod set up and went.

The c25k app reckoned I'd covered 3.2miles in 28minutes. Pretty sure the GPS must be *really* wonky, because I know the hill is 2 miles down and back.

Still, I ran, a hill. In a month I'll be doing 5k again, just got to keep at it now.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

week 125 - following through.

I said I'd go, and I did.


Counting calories alongside seems to be helping. Interestingly, another member at the meeting voiced her concerns that by eating all her points, she was taking in too many calories. One day this week I had only used about 12 propoints, but that was 1300 calories. To eat another 26, I'd have eaten up to 4,000 calories. That's without using any flex points!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Going back, head held high.. well, as high as a shortarse can..

It's Thursday, meeting day. I'm going. Though it's not going to be pretty. Been 2 months since I went, and I'll be about a stone heavier.

*BUT* I am making it work this time. I'm counting calories using myfitnesspal - please add me as a friend if you're there - as well as tracking propoints.

Since Sunday morning I have been wheat free, have stuck to my propoints *and* to my calories. I can do this. Being weirdly structured works. I have mega control issues with eating, so to suddenly become 'healthy' doesn't really work. If I do manage it, it takes a LOT of mental energy. Reckon if I make it simple it'll help. So I'm eating the same stuff every day. Going to do it for 2 weeks and see how I feel. Cook for myself entirely seperately, so I don't see any other stuff as food.

I'll be working out a daily plan that means I get 5 a day, oil, 2 lots of dairy and sufficient protein. While sticking to both my propoint and calorie allowance.

Breakfast - Yoghurt with granola & honey. Fruit. (Or omelette with veg & ham)
Lunch - Ham/Chicken with salad. (Or soup)
Dinner - Beef strip stir fry with mix veg and sour cream. (Or fish with potatoes and seasonal veg)
Extras - snack on fruit. 5-10 propoints a day for 'treats' such as booze, a choc bar/dessert or something different to snack on (eg hummus dip)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

flu, birthday cake & new scales

The kids all have the flu. Sam feels grotty too.

It's Malachi's birthday today. My little guy is 4 years old. I've not eaten *any* cake. Don't think that's ever happened before.

I'm going to weightwatchers on Thursday. Know it'll be a gain since I was last there (at 191lbs) but it won't be the gain I had when I got on those scales on Saturday. With 19 weeks to go til my sister's wedding, I weighed in at 214lbs. That's over 15st. *Sadface* Have lost 7 of those in the last 3 days, just by tracking.

Am counting propints with the weightwatchers app *and* calories using myfitnesspal. Now my body is functioning again, I will start running again too. Not focusing on a particular number for the wedding now, but know I'm going to be lots smaller if I continue to take care of myself. 

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Eh Meh.

This is not working. I'm flapping about halfheartedly, and getting myself in a tizz. Hanging over my head is this deadline of the wedding. But being that I am blatantly a textbook ODD kid, I should stop giving myself that kind of goal, huh? So, the propoints thing works for me, in as much as I like the food. All the stuff I binge on is high carb/high points. I feel so much better without, etc, etc.

Problem is I got on the scales on January first, and cried. Almost back to the beginning. After all that work. I sobbed for a bit. I've spent the days since kind of hermitting at home. Feeling fat and a failure and moping. I've pointed and stuff, but it's been a case of 'I have to do this to not be a total disgrace come May' rather than a 'I am wanting to get well' thing.

Yesterday things came to a head. I'd had an argument with the Yeti and we were not talking (kind of a grown up response from me, pre-kids I'd be fighting him, or at least being violent with words) in the afternoon we finally got a chance to talk through what was going on. The relief once we cleared things up was huge. My response? Food. I made a fantastical flapjack. Then I crashed. Massive carb crash.

Came to at about 7pm and the hubby was obviously feeling similarly as he went and grabbed some bits we needed from the Co-op (ham, soup, bread) and also grabbed some cut-price chocs. I ate until I couldn't. Couldn't because it was all gone. Eh.

This morning I am in pain. I am cross at letting myself do it, and I'm ready to forget deadlines and goals based on weight, and just get moving. The regimented stuff has never worked for me. Deadlines and goals just feed my eating disorder. I was winning when I was focused on feeling good, and running.

The loss since Saturday stands at 1lb. Kind of ridiculous.

Anyways, here's me getting back up, again. Bruised as a peach.

Oh, things to stress about this coming week - if I'm not blogging about them I'll be eating them..

Tuesday we go back to see Malachi's consultant to talk more about genetic testing. I want my baby boy to be healthy and happy. If it was his health/happiness I had to lose this weight for, it'd have been done 2 years ago.

Financially things seem to be almost working themselves out. Sam is still well. Still job searching. I am trying to find the balance between being supportive of his ambition and keeping my dreamer-man grounded.

Want it to stop raining so I can attempt a wobbly jog.

Monday, January 03, 2011

Putting two half decent days together

First day went well, drank 3.5 litres of water, ate my points and used 10 of my flex for the last of the pudding we had left over from Christmas. Really happy to add that Sam is joining me, he signed up for WW online, will be lots easier with him doing the propoints too. He's tracking himself, using the iPhone app (which is amazing by the way, free and fantastically easy to use).

Ate proper amounts of veggies for the first time in ages, and felt so well and full. My poor body.

Today was the last bit of Christmas.. visit with the in-laws and extended family. Lots of food, chocolate etc. Was glad of my flex points, because of the buffer they provide I'm still on track.

Have joined the 100 Days Challenge on Facebook. Need to catch up tomorrow for days 1 and 2, but I *love* this kind of challenge.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, January 01, 2011

1st day. 21 weeks to go.

  • I'm a little bit not sober
  • So I shall use bullet points to avoid rambling.
  • Happy New Year.
  • I've completed Dressember ^_^
  • That meant blogging daily.
  • I managed to, it kept me on task. It was good.
  • I have exactly 21 weeks until my sisters big day.
  • I need to not be a BIG part of her day.
  • I am promising myself to blog daily for 21 weeks. 
  • Too many sentences beginning with I.
Anyhow. As of today I shall be putting getting healthy as my #1 priority. I will use the new Weightwatchers app (yay) and Water app and Running app BEFORE opening popcap games on my iPhone. No more wheat, easy on the booze. Bye Bye chocolate. Back to meetings a week next Thursday. This year is going to be a good one, it's about time.