In so many forms over the last couple days -
Seeing friends I haven't for ages and knowing how much bigger I must look.
Being uncomfortably hot on the tube (yes, yes, I know everyone is - but I felt like the fat sweaty one)
Having my GP carefully describe me as 'well-covered' - that made me feel like a tubby, aged thing.
My back being *so* bad that I could hardly move at all for 5 days, and have had pain during movement for 10 days straight now.
I'm seeing a friend at the weekend who I've not seen for nearly 2 years - I'll be 3-4 stone heavier, and that has put a cloud of sadness and shame (from myself, 100% my judgement here - my friends are too awesome to be arseholes) over the next week or so for me.
Need to do this, shift this weight so I can not shame myself out of receiving healthcare, time with friends and basic quality of life!
Need to re-scramble my way of thinking. Overeating, junk foods etc aren't 'treats' and not having them isn't punishment or restricting 'fun'. Quite the opposite. Giving my body to good, nutrient rich foods in appropriate amounts is how to 'treat' myself. All the 'fun food' is only adding weight to my mindset
and my body.
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