Thursday, September 22, 2011

It's all in your head

'Maybe it's time to stop worrying about what I'm putting in my stomach, and start examining what's going on inside my head'
The last in the 3-parter on Claire Richards' weight issues. After losing the popstar to operastar show, she had no distraction from her body and the perceived flaws of it.


Her hubby says she has very low self esteem, and he sees it as the root of her issue. She doesn't see her good points, how talented and beautiful she already *is*. As far as he can see, she needs to believe she is as fantastic as she already is. He says she needs therapy, not surgery.


Focus on psychological reasons behind issues with food seems a good plan. Claire made contact with Mike Weeks, an 'extreme therapist' who has helped Jack Osbourne, among others. On his first visit he alludes to thinking that the yo yo dieting and magazine articles give her attention she wants. He then eats dog food as it is the most healthy food in their home.


Hubby starts at gym, saying he's going to lose weight and support her 'I'm just, toning up my body darling, for your sheer enjoyment.... as you will for me.' As he chows down on salad he's all cocky - 'look darling, this is how you need to do it' ..


Mike comes back, pinpointing lack of self confidence as an issue - so he puts her in situations where she has to make mistakes, with people. Task set is that she has to pretend she knows them, then deal with the embarrassment. 
'The more OK you are, the more capable, of making mistakes without getting unwanted/unnecessary feelings/sensation.. the easier life becomes'
Afterwards she agrees,. She is too worried about how others perceive her. Always compared herself, even way back she compared herself to her sister while growing up. Thought of as being the 'big' sister. 


Weeks next takes Claire to a nightclub - to do some old Steps routines. Wearing 4.5 stone of weighted suit, she is carrying 16.5 stone while doing dances. He hopes to give her an idea of how HARD life is at that weight. To realise how much she was taking around, how uncomfortable it would be to be that big. 


During food shopping with kids, it becomes even more obvious that they are very stuck on convenience and junk food. Claire uses junk to 'keep them quiet'. Realises she needs change for the whole family. She sees food as way to please/treat/console them - cycle of emotional eating, but almost doesn't realise she's doing it.


At the end, her view has shifted -
This time something has changed - before I wanted to blame it on everything, I can see quite clearly now, it's only ever going to be me that's going to change the way I am. Little changes to food, routine, activity. For the whole family. Taking away the goals of weight and focusing more on my everyday relationship with food. 
This feels very much where I am at now. As she says 'The only thing that's ever held me back is myself... I need to confront my fears head on.' Exactly what I'm doing, right now.


Something Mike Weeks' said struck me too - I still see focusing on myself this much as selfish, and just for me, but maybe I *am* gifting more to the kids, not just doing it with them (partly) in mind... 
'If you want the best for your kids - how is it that you don't, therefore, get the best for yourself. So they see a happy, healthy mum, instead of one who's upset, because of this constant up and down on her weight?'



Wednesday
9858/4922 (4.1 miles)
29/29 pp (1172/1200 kcal)

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