Sunday, July 31, 2011

Anxiety

Jumped on the scales this morning and nearly burst into tears. I've worked so hard this week and just 0.5lb off. :(


I spent a few seconds beginning to think how I could just eat anything right now as I'd fecked up my week anyway, but quickly caught myself. Realised that this happened last week and I *did* have a decent loss the next day. I'd been out for a long day in the heat and was probably retaining water.


Planned my day food wise, and stuck to it. This evening the scales are showing me a 2.5lb loss. Big Grin.


I spent today feeling very anxious, literally sick with adrenaline. I was going to my Grandma's with my dad, brother and the twins. I find it stressful as she is liable to get difficult, mean even, and snaps without much warning. Usually has a go about my weight/clothes/hair/existence. Today I was tutted at and mocked for NOT EATING the following - dorito's, a pizza, a pasty, a sandwich, chocolate biscuits, 38% liquer, ice cream. 


Still, I let the nastiness roll off me and recognised it as her issue, not mine. Enjoyed watching the girl's play and wandering about the beach looking for crabs before heading home. Didn't get close to 10,000 steps today, but after nearly 30k yesterday, I'm feeling OK with that!


Sunday - 
6044/4489steps (2.5 miles)
29/32 propoints (1144/1230 cals)  

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Race for life - 10k

Had a good couple of days (went into my weekly points yesterday to join the smalls in eating ice creams at the nature reserve, yum nom) Friday was spent doing lots of admin until about 2pm, clocking just 1000 steps, then I hustled the troops down to Sainsburys to do my last chore, and grab ice creams. Then spent 2-3 hours running about/playing/picking flowers/finding frogs.
Finished off the day with a quick play on Just Dance for the Wii. Sweaty!!

Today Seth and I did the Clapham Race for Life 10k. We got round in 1hr40 minutes. Not bad for a 6year old and a fat one who could barely walk about her flat a month ago. With my sister a year ago we did 5k in 48mins, so to do double the distance at the same speed feels ok!
Then we did Seth's stuff - walked through Lambeth to go to the Imperial War museum (tanks for the boy) and a long wished-for birthday trip the London Eye.
All in all walked nearly 30,000 steps today. Headache tonight though, probably the sun!!

Friday -
15069/4404 steps (6.3 miles)
32/32 propoints & 7/45 weekly (1481/1230 calories)

Saturday -
28105/4404 (11.9 miles)
32/32 propoints (1245/1230 calories)
               

Friday, July 29, 2011

27 dresses revisited

11 months ago I made a promise/challenged myself to change the way I treated my body. To fake it until I made it confidence-wise, and wear clothes that I like, rather than hiding away behind old baggy jeans and slobby jumpers.

I had been following through, until April when my weight shot up and I went all hermit.

Over the last couple of weeks, I can feel the urge to wear stuff I like getting stronger again, and I remembered this 27 dress idea.


Dress 1  27+68days
Dress 2  27+77days
Dress 3  27+81days
Dress 4  27+82days
Dress 5  27+83days
Dress 6  27+86days
Dress 7  27+89days
Dress 8  27+108days
Dress 9  27+130days
Dress 10 27+139days
Dress 11 27+145days
Dress 12 27+152days
Dress 13 27+159days


So 14 dresses to go, (only counting dresses, not skirts and I have to wear them *out*) I'll definately be wearing this one in a few lbs' time, remember feeling amazing that day.

As it's a frocking Friday, I suppose I'd better make #14 happen today, get over that halfway line, less than 2 months to wear another 14. Eeek.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

living moderately ;)

Wednesday - 
7704/4489steps (3.2 miles)
32/32 propoints & 4/49 weekly (1363/1230 cals)


Wednesday was spent doing very house-based stuff, with the next 5 days full of me doing stuff out of the home I needed to prepare by doing as much pre-emptive housework and resting as I could with 4 smalls underfoot! Had also twisted my right ankle running on Tuesday, and had a slight ache in the calf.


We painted butterflies, made pizza, tidied the garden and finished reorganising the boys' room. Finally stuff has been put away so I can move around my bedroom without doing acrobatics.


Usually we'd have done a Home Ed outing, but the other families are all on holiday/ill/moving/out of contact, so we had a hermit day. I didn't even manage my full 10,000 steps....


BUT


Thursday we were out of the house by 8.20am, bags packed with picnic and spare clothes and off to Crystal Palace Park. We met a friend of mine and her 4 kids and had a fab day mooching about looking at sphinx and dinosaurs, getting lost in a maze and strolling about letting the kids roam a bit - not an easy thing to do living in/near London. (Seth is saying I'm forgetting the best bit, going to the playground. Yea, sitting on my bum and chatting to my friend without having to type was very cool ^_^)


note to self - get legs out *in the sun* look like the undead


I always notice that when I'm out with people I like, I don't eat. Not in a bad way - I'd packed grapes and a granola bar and ate them while we sat. But I didn't pick at food or feel antsy, just enjoyed some waffly conversation and feeling 'safe' with who I was with.


Had never thought of myself as an emotional eater, but am slowly realising the actually my 'normal' is a constant low-level anxiety, and the constant overeating was probably due to *constant* emotional upset. :s So, giving myself gentle targets/fun days/seeing people who are genuinely nice and real friends, can ONLY be a good thing. D'uh. 


                               ........................................................


(Thinking more as I type and realising that the day I ate more/not what I'd planned last week was when we went to softplay (I am so aware of the money burning :( though other parents seem to manage, and then I assume it's my fault) and met with just one other mum (who's older than me, talks about her career and the new house they've bought etc) - without realising I think I medicated the anxiety with the extra carbs (rice krispie squares). Just thinking about it now my tummy is knotted and back of my neck feels all 'prickly'. Ugh, well, it's a breakthrough I guess.


                                    .......................................................


Went home via shops and got in about 15mins before Sam, quickly cooked a pasta bake, inhaled a can of soup for myself and collapsed in the bath! I forgot to take any meds before going, and felt my joints go in the heat. Even though my ankle/calf was really tender from about 4pm onwards, it was fine as soon as I rested it and even with no anti-inflammatory drugs helping and limping, my back was fine. So happy.


Thursday - 
21070/4489steps (8.8 miles)
29/32 propoints (1234/1230 cals)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

If you're still pretty at the end then you did it wrong


One week ago I felt brave and thought I'd attempt the day 1 c25k 'run'. Now I've completed the first week!

Still so, so slow, but I'm going and pushing and getting stronger every step. Tonight it hit me that I am going out at this size, while it's still light, and running where there are other people. I'm aware they can see me red faced, limping along, fat. I care, but I care *more* that I keep going. My health means more to me now. Finally.

Going to continue with the plan, as so far I'm not having any back pain due to it, as had been expected. There are about 9 weeks left until my birthday, it's two months today. With 8 weeks left on c25k I could complete it in that time. To be running 5k again by then would feel just so good. I'm loving the difference in how I feel after 25lbs and just one month, another two months and regular running would make me feel fantastic I'm sure!

Just got to keep putting one foot in front of the other, and I'll be there.



Tuesday - 
13470/4489steps (5.6 miles)
32/32 propoints (1308/1230 cals)

Monday, July 25, 2011

Week 5 - 25.5lb in 28 days ^_^

This week I needed just a 1lb loss to hit my 10%, I was fairly certain that it'd happen, but at the back of my mind I was very aware that losing 22lbs in the previous 3 weeks could mean I'd soon hit a maintenance week. After using a fair few weekly propoints early on I was worried it'd happen.

Thankfully that it didn't. In hindsight I reckon eating some of the weekly points may have actually helped give a better loss. Maybe it gave my metabolism the run-around so it didn't slow down. I also walked 37.4 miles and ran twice.

I'm now well into the 14 stones, and another 6lbs and I'll be under 200lbs. Huge psychological milestone. Having weekly goals in mind really seems to help, so I've set another for this week!  2.5lbs will take me to my next stone off - time for my next butterfly, I'll also be *just* obese, rather than severely obese. (At my highest weight I was dipping my toes into the border of morbidly obese).

For a fortnight now I've walked 10,000 steps a day, (1 day this week I did 500 under, but had done lots of floor cleaning, 40 minutes of activity that didn't register) If I keep this up I'll have walked the length of the UK by Christmas.
Miles walked - 37.4

previous weight - 209 BMI 35.9
current weight - 205.5 BMI 35.3
loss - 3.5lb
% lost - 1.67%

Monday -
13747/4489steps (5.7 miles)
28/32 propoints (1058/1230 cals) 



eating a tassimo a fortnight,,

I wanted to get myself a gift to mark my 10% loss. Every stone I'm getting a treat in the form of a tat. So I wondered what I could have for this milestone.

I've wanted a latte machine for *so* long, but thought they were way too expensive, not just the initial outlay, but the cost of £4 for 8 cups worth of coffee.

Calculated that I *had* been eating about £50-60 worth of extra, unnecessary junk each week at my worst. So far this means that I've saved up to £200 in 4 weeks, even after deducting weightwatchers fees. Suddenly the £120 machine didn't seem as extravagant. If I'm having just 1 coffee a day as my 'treat' to myself, that costs less than £4 a week, as opposed to £50. Again, suddenly seemed very reasonable.

So I'd decided on a tassimo smart machine, then my SIL's fiance posted a rave review on facebook about his new T40 machine. Decision made! I popped to Sainsburys and the *only* coffee maker in stock was the T40, and there was just one left, in the colourway I'd hoped to find. Meant to be!


Had my first cup (of latte macchiato, with a shot of vanilla syrup, nom!) this evening, and it was totally lush. Feeling very rewarded!!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Lands End to John O'Groats

I reckon I can walk the equivalent distance in my daily life by the end of the year - chucked a counter doobry on the sidebar to track my progress. ^_^

Did c25k week 1 day 2 tonight, felt better than the first run already. Going out in the light at 7pm was a huge step. People would see me, and my flab, and be able to judge. But getting better means getting out there. So I did.

Every time I felt like stopping, or worried that I'd be seen, I reminded myself of this picture. I'm guessing this woman is taller than me - so it makes a very good motivational pic for me. I want my body to be well. Running is strengthening the muscle, burning the fat. I have given my poor body so much to fight, now I'm on the same side. No more seeing it as the enemy, it's my best ally and I'm going to fight every inch for it.



Friday -
9541 /4404steps (4 miles)
32/32 propoints (1278/1250 cals)

Saturday -
14358/4404steps (6.2 miles)
31/32 propoints (1043/1250 cals)

Sunday -
14589/4404steps (6.4 miles)
31/32 propoints (1043/1250 cals)

catching up with the yeti

It's been ages since I'd had energy to sort my health, never mind Sam's. Since the week before he went back to work (he's been there 3 weeks now - it's whizzing by at a nice steady, ordered pace) I've been fully responsible for *all* of his food. I've made his breakfast omlette before he leaves at 6.30am, and he gets a salad or jacket spud for lunch, then eats with the kids at about 5.30pm. He's been pretty much wheat free (he's still learning so an occasional blip) walking 2.5 miles a day and drinking water and tea instead of fizzy drinks.

He'd gone back up to 19.5 stone (273lb again) but weighed in yesterday at 18st8 (260lb) 13lb in 4 weeks with no tracking is no bad thing! He's already started to stop eating when full, and without realising he's moving more (and is so much more patient with the kids!) He even mentioned wanting to go to the gym again the other day. 0_0

Hoping to keep him on track for a 2lb loss each week without making him feel like he's dieting. Another 50lbs until he's at 15stone and a BMI of 24.9 - At a rate of 2lb a week, he could be there for Kai's 5th birthday. I've got 64lb to go to get to the equivalent BMI.. I reckon it's an awesome long term goal! 25 weeks to go!

Friday, July 22, 2011

Couple of struggle-y days

Tuesday and Wedsnesday I really struggled with wanting to just eat.

On Tuesday I'd gone for a run at the end of the day, and I felt better about how I'd managed. Wednesday I ate loads before we'd even left the house, I went out at 8.30am wondering how I'd last til dinner. As it was there was only wheat filled stuff available at the soft play centre, and I spent enough time with another Home Ed mum chatting that I forgot about the urge to eat.

Thursday morning I'd eaten all my days propoints by 10-11am. I just wolfed down yoghurt, realising how many propoints I was using, and stopped when I reached my allowance - so not *totally* binging, but not sensible eating. Then I clocked what was wrong. Since being on the nexplanon I've not had to go as much. Suddenly clicked that I was constipated, bloated and my eating lots of sugary dairy was a fairly in-tune attempt to shift it.

So chugged lots of water, had some fruit and bought myself Senna while out doing jobs. This morning things are back in working order (so sorry for info, but I've learnt something here!)

When I stopped and really thought/felt what was going on, the urge to eat dissapated. I knew how to fix it, feel comfy again, and I did. Today is back on track, eaten my planned breakfast of omlette at 7.30 and now at 11.30 I'm thinking about beginning to prepare lunch and what to do with the afternoon.

Peek at the scale this morning showed me 206, which is a decent 3lb loss. Would be happy with that on Monday! Takes me 2lb past my 10% goal, and just another 3lbs til my 2nd stone off.


Wednesday -
11834/4404steps (4.9miles)
32/32 propoints & 5/37 weekly (1451/1250 cals)

Thursday -
14730 /4404steps (6.5miles)
32/32 propoints (1282/1250 cals)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

C25K week 1 day 1 - Just Do It

Three weeks ago I was in agony all day long. I could barely hobble about the flat, and going downstairs was excruciating. My legs felt like they were on fire, my upper feet like they would snap any moment. I hadn't run, properly, in months. My health was at an (all time?) low. I was on GP prescribed anti-inflammatory drugs to try to minimise the pain, but they did very little.

Since starting back on weightwatchers I've felt the urge to get back into exercise, but I've been scared. What if I injured myself? What if I fail? What if I don't then have the energy to manage day to day?

Last week I eased into walking over 10,000 steps a day. I did it. Then I attempted a 30 min session of yoga, then 60 minutes, then 90...

This evening I'd got to around 7,500 steps at 7pm. Suddenly another of Jayne's wall posts came to mind:


Yes, I'm going to be slow, it may hurt, I won't always get it right - but I'm beating the crap out of the me who sat getting fatter and fatter and stuck in a self made trap of pain.


The box with my new Nike Lunarglides was right in front of me, screaming JUST DO IT I've had them and kept them for when I'm 'running properly' again. Today I began running properly. Took the pristine new shoes over to the wet boggy Nature Reserve. I was slow, breathless and red-faced, but I did it!





Tuesday -
12289/4404steps (5.1miles)
32/32 propoints & 18/49 weekly (1842/1250 cals)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Week 4 - 3rd Silver 7 and *so* close to 10%

Needed to lose 4lb this week to hit my 10% - I did 3lb. Usually this would have me in a huge strop, now, not so much. 

I'm out of the 15 stones, and just another 10lbs to break out of the 200lbs mark. That feels good! 

My aim for the next 2 weeks is another 3lb loss each Monday, take me to my 10% next week, and 2nd stone off the week after. My butterfly is very nearly healed and ready for a friend! Getting under 204lbs will also take my BMI below 35 - just plain old obese, rather than the red zoned 'severely obese' I've been hanging out in for the last few months.

Last week I challenged myself to walk 10,000 steps a day, and I did it. I'm going to aim for that again this week too.
Miles walked - 38.4

previous weight - 212 BMI 36.4
current weight - 209 BMI 35.9
loss - 3lb
% lost - 1.41%


Monday -
10407/4404 steps 4.3miles
32/32 propoints (1214/1250)

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The day before weigh-in jitters

It's my own fault for treating the scales at home like a trampoline, bouncing on and off them over and over, but I *hate* to see fluctuation!!

Saturday morning I saw 208lb on the scale, which is my 10% goal weight, then this morning I was back at 211, boo. Came the closest that I've been to bingey-thinking, since being back on track for 3 weeks. Felt myself thinking 'Fine, if I'm not going to hit it anyway then I'll have an extra portion of dinner, or a chocolate bar...' realised fairly quickly where I was headed and the moment I realised I was back in control. But those thoughts are very definately still there, just under the surface.

As it was I stuck to plan, stuck to tracking, and made it my mission to get the bronze Piggy instead! And I did. ^_^





Very chuffed that I'm able to exercise again, after struggling with so much pain for weeks. Thinking about working 30 mins WiiFit into my morning routine each day now, building back up to 'proper' exercise.

 
So, ignoring the scales now, hoping today's weird up-trend disappears for weigh in!

Sunday -
10210/4341steps (4.25 miles)
32/33 propoints (1268/1270 cals)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Play-Doh as antidote to boredom eating

Found gluten free gravy and stuffing mix after a long morning shopping, so Sam cooked a big roast for us as well as my parents and sister.

I skipped the gravy, sauces and roasties, but still a slice of beef, two stuffing balls, broccoli and baby carrots were 10 points! Yummy, but ouch.

The DWP have awarded Malachi Disability Living Allowance, and with the first (backdated to claim date) payment I've been out and bought him a whole load of play-doh supplies and lots of other crafty sensory stuff, as well as easy grip silicone cooking utensils so he can join in in the cooking without me worrying about his safety around heavy glass bowls!

Already it's been fab, he chats the whole time he's playing with the stuff, and it stops him looking to food to 'do' something with. ^_^ I'd read that kids like Kai could really benefit from sensory therapy, I'm very excited at the progress we've seen since I've made crafting a part of each day's routine for him.

Hoping to get to IKEA very soon, as have a bit of money to buy more Trofast storage so we can keep the craft/art supplies well stocked and organised.

Saturday -
12789/4341steps (5.3miles)
32/33 propoints (1265/1270 cals)

Friday, July 15, 2011

Harry Potter & my first 'treat' in 3 weeks

Saw the final Harry Potter film tonight, feels really weird to have it all wrapped up - remember reading the first book at 13 years old.

I knew I'd want something sweet and munchy while at the cinema, so had added a bar of Green & Blacks butterscotch to my grocery order this week. It is my *favourite* ever chocolate, and it has sat, untouched in the back of the cupboard where I put it after unpacking Tuesday morning.

THIS IS HUGE for me. To enjoy it as a one off tasty treat, not to want to replace my proper food wth it. Not to let it set me off binging. Amazing.

Don't know what we'll be doing with this weekend, but each day;
  • I will be on track
  • I will drink my water
  • I will walk over 10,000 steps
Also hoping to fit in 2 x 30 minute Wii fit sessions to get my little piggy bronze again!

Thursday -
12008/4341steps (5miles)
33/33 propoints (1261/1270 cals)

Friday -
12262/4341steps (5.1miles)
32/33 propoints (1213/1270 cals)

Thursday, July 14, 2011

When friends get it right..

There have been so many things over the last 4 years that have motivated me while I've battled the bulge. Some of those things didn't last, some were exactly what I needed at the time, but would never work again.

This time, there were so many things that forced me to jump, but the final shove was a kindly meant but blunt shove. I have a friend, Jayne, who has lost a decent amount of weight, the loss itself is secondary to the shift in lifestyle. She started running a couple years back and is now a super strong, gym bunny marathon-head.

I remember her being to shift weight as I was nearing goal in 2009, now she has been maintaining her running and toned bod, and moving forwards in making being fit and strong a mega part of her life.

Recently I noticed a few meme-type photos posted to her wall on facebook. (One is the 'choose your hard' I have to the left) I smiled at most of them, a couple made me think, yeah, I should get back on it... then this one was like a slap in the face..

Underneath she'd typed Just sayin'. I know that it wasn't for me, I'm not quite that egocentric! It did speak to me, from someone I care about, admire and would like to have think well of me.

Come on Joy, you keep saying tommorrow, it's here waiting, and has been for months. Either do what you say you want to do, or stay as you are. All you need is in you.

I've changed, I can feel it.

I'm not excusing my weight, I'm proud of how bloody strong my body is to be doing all it is despite it. The weight doesn't need/desire excusing.

I'm not in pain anymore, more than that, I'm not avoiding exercise for fear of pain. If it hurts, it hurts. I'm not going to get stronger hiding in joggers on the sofa.

I'm enjoying my food, I'm eating food that my body is enjoying. I am drinking water. I am not being obsessive either. Yes, I'm tracking, but I'm living and not spending hours a day calculating where I could be.

Last night I started looking into Gym membership, today I did 90 minutes of yoga and strength training.

I'm looking forward to the end of next month when I'll be healed and ready to start running again. I'm thinking about when/where I could slot in runs each day (well, not EACH day, but yunno what I mean)..

Every day I'm taking the chance.


I feel free.


I've changed.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Dog tired

 Busy, fun, exciting tiring day. We went to meet with 3 other local mums who are Home-Educating their young sprogs. Going to make it a weekly thing now as the kids (and the women) got on really easily ^_^

Meant being out of the house by 8am, eating not much else until I got in a 5pm. I ate a couple of Rice Krispy Squares to tide me over and with all the fresh air/walking/chatting I was soooo tired.

How many calories does happy nerves burn?!

Wore some new linen trousers that I bought last month - size 18 so I knew they'd fit. When I got them home they didn't. :s Felt awful. Now they fit so easily. I'm not happy that I'm back UP in 18's, but I am happy that I've managed to get back into them!

Nearly doubled my steps challenge today - noted that after 7.5 miles walking I was ready for a rest, but not in pain, whoot!

out, about and making new friends ^_^



Wednesday -
17370 /4341steps (7.25miles)
33/33 propoints (1302/1270 cals)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

When the going gets tough..

I strop but carry on regardless.

I Need To Eat Breakfast Every Morning. It Needs To Be HIGH Protein.

Hopefully that'll really sink in.

I've seen that days where I don't eat my 3 egg and cheese omlette at breakfast, I really, really struggle the rest of the day.

Tuesday is groceries day, as our CTC comes through that day. I usually set the delivery for 9am, but hadn't gotten around to doing the order until Saturday, so the earliest slot was 10am.
***** That reminded me to quickly book the earlier slot for next week - you see how this blog helps me?*****

Sam had the last of the cheese for his omlette, so I decided to be a perfect hausfrau while waiting for the delivery. Of course by 10.15, I was ravenous, kids were ready for a mid-morning snack and so out came fruit and rice krispy squares. I grabbed grapes and a chocolate orange (eyerolling-ly good) one. CARB CRASH.

Realised my mistake, chugged down water and took the halflings out to the library. Had planned to get some fresh air and to play on the green, after buying them fish&chips (our local chippy has gluten free batter Tuesday and Wednesday lunchtimes).

Seth had a meltdown at the library. His whatever-he's-got-going-on overtook him at the counter and he reached out and date stamped the countertop. When I told him no and asked if he'd apologise to the (scary stern) librarian, he refused (he grit his teeth, went red faced and growled..) I said I was not going to stay and check out his DVD (they all had a couple books each, but the DVD has to go on my card, and is a hire item) unless he apologised, he lost it. Punching the counter and kicking out, screaming that he wouldn't say sorry to the weird lady and that he hated me.. yadda yadda..

I felt so sad for him, managed to get him out before he hurt himself and he sat shaking and screaming on the steps for 5 minutes before I was able to get hold of his hand without him lashing out. We went to get lunch and he stood behind me growling. (Thankfully the owners' Mrs at the chippy knows me & that the boys are as they are) After sitting down and getting some food in him he calmed down, cuddled and decided 'to never ever stamp again, telling the real truth'.

BUT, I had STUPIDLY bought battered stuffs that had been deep fried in gluten free batter... with SAUSAGE MEAT. UGH.

I ate some, in an emotional kinda-hungry but mostly strung out way. Within 15minutes my stomach was griping and head pounding. Also had used I don't know how many propoints. Looking at other battered chipshop stuff, I guess 16. 0_0

Pulled it back with good dinner choices, lots of water and a 30 minute walk after dinner, but ouch I'm in pain. And rightly so - I've eaten over 100g carbs today, almost 4x as much as I feel good doing! Lesson learned (I hope!) and I'm very pleased that I didn't let the day go completely.


Tuesday -
12263 /4341steps (5.1miles)
30/33 propoints (1154/1270)

Monday, July 11, 2011

Mini-challenge

I'd *really* love to shed another 4lb this week, before the loss slows down and steadies a bit. It'd get me to 208lbs - my 10% goal, that'd be awesome!!

So, without pushing myself too hard and burning out, I'm intending to walk 10,000 steps a day instead of the 4341 that my pedometer recommends for my weight. I've found sticking to my propoints as well as tracking with MFP fine for 15 days now, and have been committed to drinking 2 litres of plain water a day too.

Monday -
14590 /4341steps (6.4miles)
30/33 propoints (1129/1270)

Week 3 - no rebound gain, whoot

Was *so* nervous about having a stay-the-same/small gain this week.
  • I had a *massive* loss last week, easily 2 weeks' worth
  • I had my period this week
  • I underate on Saturday 
Any one of those factors would be enough to have had a dismal day today. I'd been hopping on and off the scales until Friday, and saw the exact same numbers each day.
I did stick to my daily propoints, no wheat, 2litres water. No weekly/activity propoints used.

I got a 4.5lb loss, taking me to 212, lovely and close for getting out of the 210s next week.

previous weight - 216.5 BMI 37.2
current weight - 212 BMI 36.4
loss - 4.5lb
% lost - 2.08%

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Another rocking weekend.

Saturday - Hugely underate today, but was out and not able to eat until 8pm, and then had a muller rice and just wasn't hungry. I know eating too little is bad, but I had planned to eat 34 propoints/1294cals - I had my omlette before leaving the house at 8.30am, went to get my newest ink-baby. Then went to meet friends at a park - I took fridgeraiders chicken out for a lunchy snack, but then went to a BBQ (all wheaty) before going back to MILs until 8pm. The kids and Sam ate there, but I assumed we'd be back early enough for me to eat at home. We got in at 8pm, the kids needed to be got ready for bed and by then I was past hungry, so I'm hoping I haven't fecked things up.

13293/4261 steps
22/34 daily propoints (855/1300 calories)

Sunday - A 'not very busy, but seem to have done lots' day. Went with the girls' to the local shops for milk. Went and looked at the bees in a GIANT bush of lavendar on a neighbours drive. Took twins down via my parents' to the local park and looked at the ongoing transformation of the playground. Went searching for crickets and grasshoppers. Looked at blackberry bushes and talked about the cycle it goes through each year.
Will be getting up at 6am each weekday now, to feed Sam before he leaves, hoping the routine will be a help for my keeping on track.

11780/4261 steps
32/34 daily propoints (1244/1300 calories)

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Violet

You should learn when to go
You should learn how to say no

Might last a day yeah

Mine is forever

 (Violet - Hole)

Tattoo #1 today, to celebrate my first stone lost. This first stone has gone quickly (7 days is quick, yeah?) Already though I know I've learnt how to stop, how to look elsewhere when I'm struggling and not resort to food. 7 days is not long, but I know this is just the first week of the rest of ever that I'll have to do this.

Violet Butterfly. For hitting 15.5stone. Another 6 stone to go until a healthy 9.5, and another six butterflies planned; indigo, blue, green, yellow, orange and red. One for each stone.

The rainbow is a symbol of hope and a promise. It's a symbol of the hope I have for myself, and the promise I'm making to get and stay healthy. The butterfly is a symbol of change 'metamorphosis' - from a fat grub to an extraordinary, beautiful creature.

Already I don't feel like a grub, I'm feeling the change. So I don't want to wait to hit a healthy weight to get celebratory ink. I want to celebrate the change as it happens, I want to celebrate the journey.


Friday, July 08, 2011

Cold

Two days of feeling run down and poorly-sick. Plus horrendous amounts of rain and the girls' getting a cold too. So I've not walked much - BUT I have stuck to plan, drunk my water and done the pedometer-recommended steps.

Going out tomorrow, to meet with a friend and her family as they travel back up to Yorkshire from France. Quick picnic and play at Priory park.
Hoping to get to Reigate early enough to get started on the tattoo I'm getting to celebrate my weightloss. For each stone lost (14lbs) I'm getting a butterfly, will result in a trail of 7 butterflies once I hit 'healthy'. I'm hoping to get each shaded in the colours of the rainbow - the tattoo will be a promise to myself as well as a symbol of my transformation.

Thursday -
5432/4261 steps
34/34 daily propoints (1283/1300 calories)


Friday -
5282/4261 steps
34/34 daily propoints (1294/1300 calories)

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

 First cycle since having the Nexplanon fitted and I've got absolutely no pain. Usually on day two of my cycle I'm in agony, thighs feel mullered, and I have heavy blood loss. Today I took the kids for a wander to a nature reserve, then around the supermarket, followed by a two hour park visit - lots of legging up and down with them on ziplines, pushing swings etc.

Pulled back from the near miss yesterday, ate high protein and low sugar.

Pleased with how I'm doing considering I'm at 'that time of the month' but hoping it won't affect the scales next week.



Wednesday -
16362/4261 steps
34/34 daily points (1278/1300 calories)

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Fixing myself better

Struggled today - my own fault, I guess I was too confident in how well things are going. I had fallen asleep early for me last night - in bed by about 11pm, and hadn't preplanned today. We only had enough eggs left for me to do Sam's breakfast, but I knew I had lots more arriving at about 9am with the Sainsburys delivery, so waited to eat.

By the time I'd unpacked the delivery, I'd found a pack of tikka chicken in the fridge that needed eating by tomorrow, so I had that instead. Then around 11 I had a weightwatchers toffee bar that I'd bought at the meeting yesterday. I thought I'd been careful in checking there was no wheat, but a few minutes later my breathing was off and I felt knackered.

Next stupid moment was assuming I was hungry, I went straight for more bars and ate three altogether  before clocking what had happened. I gave the others to the girls and drank lots of water. A couple of hours later I had a headache brewing and felt like I was crashing. Stupid decision (not really a decision, I did it without thinking) was to fob it off with a(nother) sugar rush in the shape of several of the kid's fromage frais.

All my points gone (thank feck I'd had a chunky veggie soup at lunch) and I've got a sore diaphragm and not much energy to show for it.

BUT I did pull it back, realised what had happened and spent 10 minutes tracking food for tomorrow to ensure that it won't be repeated. It's almost like I'm learning from my mistakes!


Tuesday -
5268/4261 steps
34/34 daily points (1293/1300 calories)

July / week two





A 14.5LB LOSS IN ONE WEEK! I knew I felt better, but whoa. Back pain is negligible most of the time the last few days, and I'm not feeling too tired to get up and do stuff of a morning. 8.5lbs to go to my 10%. Joked with the leader that I'd be there in a week or two, then realised that I really could. I know the first couple of weeks can show a dramatic loss before it all stabilises.


previous weight - 231 BMI 39.8
current weight - 216.5 BMI 37.2
loss - 14.5lb
% lost - 6.28%



After meeting yesterday I took the halflings to the park, then wandered home with ice creams (them, not me!) Had my mum pop up for a cuppa before chucking dinner on and herding them all out to meet Sam on his way home, gave him the smalls and took Seth to Beavers. It was my turn to be parent helper, so I (badly) demo'ed dodgeball and then walked Seth back up the 1.5mile hill.

Today is Sam's 2nd day back out to work since last October, I'm happy at how smoothly the kids have moved to getting up at 6.45 so I can do breakfast, it's making bedtime happen at 8-8.30pm so I'm not knackered and junking on sugar at 10pm.

Have a Sainsburys delivery in about 15mins, then an easy day of cleaning and a library visit planned.

Monday -
11438 steps
Ate 34/34 daily propoints (1239/1300 calories)

Sunday, July 03, 2011

HUGE victory

I almost (as close to almost as a weightwatching fatty can get) don't mind what the scales say tomorrow, because today was such a success control-wise.

Was a busy day, had to get the smalls and the husbeast fed and ready to get to the village fete, then take Seth down for his beavers parade at the parish church. Sit *quietly* through a very trad. eucarist and then rush to get the 11.40 train to make the next two connections to get to the in-law's for the big birthday park party. Full on day, hot, lots of party food and I stuck to plan. Best bit - I didn't feel deprived at all ^_^

This is feeling right again.

Oh, and Sam has been fab, avoided wheat (including much cake) and has dropped 5-6lbs this week too.

12265 steps
Ate 36/36 daily propoints and 1 weekly point (1621 calories)
5 fruit&veg portions
2 litres of water.
 

Saturday, July 02, 2011

Rockin' it

Got up early enough to make omlettes before getting the kids dressed and packed and out. We were out at a smallholders show from 9am-4pm, and then back to my mum-in-law's til 8pm. I avoided all unplanned food, didn't even sniff the cake. Am I pleased with myself? Just a little!

8264 steps
Ate 36/36 daily propoints (1391 calories)
5 fruit&veg portions
2 litres of water.

Friday, July 01, 2011

ready for the weekend

I am feeling so ready to ignore the junk this weekend. Will have a big challenge as we'll be out from 9am-8pm both days doing various bits to celebrate MILs 60th. I've made her a cake today without sampling any though, so hope to ignore the party food, it's going to be worth it Monday morning! 

Plan to fill up with an omlette first thing, then will take soup or something to heat up when I find a kitchen!

5760 steps (though I noticed at around 3pm that it had 'paused', so may have been a fair bit more really)
Ate 36/36 daily propoints & 7 weekly points (1636 calories)
5 fruit&veg portions
2 litres of water.

Those 7 extra points were petit filous little desserts - hello sugar hit. Blurgh.