Wednesday, August 31, 2011

21/27 dresses, DONE

The twins and the kittens are all poorly, awh. Snuffly little fluffballs are the saddest, cutest thing!

Finally had a chance to stop cuddling/wiping/cleaning up after the 7 poorly ones and keep on top of the bored-at-being-stuck-indoors boys!

Dress #21 - 27+335 - was worn on Sunday. We went out to see my sister and her hubby, they've just moved out into their new flat in Acton... just down the central line from Hyde Park and the playground that I have never taken my halflings to. I am such a neglectful mother.

The Princess Diana memorial playground was built at the northwest corner of Hyde Park, in Kensington Palace Gardens, where the further-down-the-line royals get kept. It's a fab playground, based around Peter Pan, there's sand and water and a big ship, tents, a lost boys treetop frame.. and areas for smaller babies/toddlers and picnics. It's a security entrance and just an easy place to go and relax with smalls, in the heart of London. Makes it paradise in my opinion!! Only downside is the TERRIBLE coffee, but I can deal with that for an afternoon. ;)

Wore a 20s style salmon satin dress, it's a 16, and kinda clingy 0_0 but I wore it!

Have joined both 'Skirtember 2011' and 'September Shredders' on Facebook - so starting tomorrow I'll be both wearing a skirt and being Jillian Michaels' bitch for 20minutes each day, probably not simultaneously.

Tuesday -
4720/4696 steps (2 miles)
30/30 propoints (1206/1200 cals)


Wednesday -
11172/4696 steps (4.7 miles)
30/30 propoints (1352/1200 cals)


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

2 months in ^_^

I didn't make it to weigh in yesterday, had been up since 4.30am with puke-boy. Thanks a lot Krispy Kreme. According to my horribly accurate home scales I was up 2lbs. Thanks a lot Krispy Kreme. Spent the day feeling absolutely out of it and like I was sedated. Thanks a lot Krispy Kreme.

Seriously, had not tracked the weekend. I knew what went wrong last week. Trying to claw back points instead of letting our anniversary be a day off, turned the entire week into bedlam diet-wise. By the weekend I had no points left, so thought stuff it, and just ate.

Eating a 'little bit' of wheat on the way home on Saturday turned into crashing at Hyde Park on Sunday, and searching for more fatty, sugary, pick-me-up at the station on the way home.

2 Krispy Kreme donuts = 21 propoints (!!!) and almost 800 calories. Pretty much a day's food. Scary.

Back on track yesterday, thank goodness for the bank holiday - I just mooched about indoors doing housework and keeping an eye on Seth, while Sam took the girls out.

Monday -
5377/4696 steps (2.2 miles)
31/31 propoints (1147/1200 calories)

This morning I weighed again, sure enough I'm back down to 196 fully clothed. So I'm counting this as this weeks weight for food etc. As far as my weightwatchers card is concerned I'm still at 196 too, so it works.

After a 4lb loss this week to get back on track for my butterfly blue in 2 weeks time. I've the perfect song to go with it now too. ^_^

Miles walked - 36.4

previous weight - 196 BMI 33.6
current weight - 196 BMI 33.6
loss - 0lb
% lost - 0.00%


Sunday, August 28, 2011

post crash fallout

It's been a busy, wonderful,  lovely but foody week.

I way overate the *wrong* foods on my anniversary, and in trying to claw back the calories, set myself up for failure.

I can see what went wrong. Fully intend to weigh in tomorrow and go back to high protein low carb eating. It just keeps thing ticking over well for me.

I've not even tracked the last two days, and I have eaten wheat. I feel tired and ready to get back to eating well asap, before I start getting ill!

Still, have been out and seeing people, doing driving lessons, and have completed week 4 of C25K. Am ready to start shredding for September this week, as well as joining in on Skirtember on facebook..

Fairly sure I'll see a gain on the scales tomorrow, but that's normal over 'celebratory' weeks, so I'll just crack on with shifting it (and a lot more) by the first weigh of September!

Wednesday -
10210/4696 steps (4.3 miles)
30/30 propoints (1189/1200 cals)

Thursday -
15702/4696 (6.5 miles)
30/30 propoints & 11 weekly & 8 activity (2000/1200 cals)

Friday -
9412/4696 steps (3.9 miles)
30/30 propoints & 10 activity (1475/1200 cals)

Saturday -
13113/4696 steps (5.5 miles)
foook knows.

Sunday -
17726/4696 (7.4 miles)
ahem. yeh.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Carb Crash

Dress #20 - 27+330

Our Eighth wedding anniversary deserved a dress. At least the girls' thought so - both wore their bridesmaid dresses for our 'weddin' day' yesterday. I had planned a very purpley get-on for our day traipsing about Brighton. Even though we didn't go, I still had a couple visitors and bin men and chip shop folk to see on our day, so wore it anyway! Plus, this dress is fitting now, and will be too big in a month or so!

Chucked my Hell Bunny full violet petticoat underneath and twirled about (pre-chocolates) with the girls in the carpark - was as close to exercise as I got for most of the day!

Quite gutted that our plans fell through, as Sam had taken the day off and it felt a bit 'wasted' just sat in eating crap. Weird, as that was 'normal' life not long ago. Depressing.

Today my head is killing me, I've cravings for all sorts and I'm fighting to stay awake. Doing the bare minimum to get through the day, hoping that eating well today will mean waking up better tomorrow.

Sam was moody with me this morning, obviously feeling the effects of yesterday too, and that set the tone for the day a bit.

After my painkillers didn't crack the headache fast enough, I went to grab the pint of ice cream I knew was in the freezer. Decided 'f*ck it - I'll just use my remaining weekly points and have a small loss again' and dug the spoon in. Then spat it out. EWwwwwww!!!

Hadn't read the desciption properly online - it's bloody banana flavour!

Thank goodness for my weirdo quirks and absolute hatred of banana, just saved me a days' worth of calories!

Banana puree *heave*

I was so close to shovelling all 964 cals in. Really need to work out how to celebrate without messing with my body.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Eat-a-versary

A nicely put together day on Monday was followed by a blowout on Tuesday.

Thankfully it was totally planned. I'd assumed that with fish and chips for lunch, taking all my days' pp, that I'd use the majority of my weekly pp to eat crappy 'celebratory' food.

We had about 200g of chocolate each, which *is* a lot, but not by my old standards, that'd be a usual daily amount. Not any more, I felt awful. Sick, bloated and exhausted. Actually had to go sleep it off for a couple of hours. Even with having NO chips, and gluten free batter, my haddock lunch was 900cals!!

900 calories 0_0

sugar coma

me almost falling over due to stoopid blood sugar

We'd planned to go to Brighton and eat chips on the beach, go to the carousel and the pier, mooch around the lanes.. but the rain was non-stop and so we stayed in, Sam braving the wet to go fetch lunch from the local chippy, and a box of chocs to share as a treat.

I barely moved all day, and forced myself to do 20 mins on the Wii to get a few steps in at least. Hoping the carb crash tomorrow isn't too horrific.

Monday -
14940/4696 steps (6.2 miles)
30/30 propoints (1232/1200 cals)

Tuesday -
6281/4696 steps (2.6 miles)
30/30 propoints & 37 (!!) weekly (2519/1200 cals)

Monday, August 22, 2011

35lbs off in 2 months!

Saturday -
11221/4672 steps (4.7 miles)
31/31 propoints & 20 weekly & 11 activity (2302/1200 cals)

Sunday -
8592/4672 steps (3.6 miles)
31/31 propoints & 24 activity & -7 weekly propoints (2003/1200 cals)

Eaten average 44 propoints a day which sounds a hideous amount. Knowing that it's an average 1634 calories a day helps a little though, that's 45 cal a day below my BMR, so I was hoping for pulling a maintenance week out of the hat.

The weekend went well enough, though I ate too high-carb, and used sugar to perk me up. By Sunday evening I was a sugar zombie. BUT the kids were happy and well, we'd been out and about and I'd tracked the whole thing. To go just 1 propoint (70 cals, an apple) over each day was not the disaster it could have been.

I got my 5th silver 7 today, seeing a loss despite an emotionally draining week felt awesome. My leader really got it too, we may have bounced up and down and high fived at the scales...

Miles walked - 37.5

previous weight - 197 BMI 33.8
current weight - 196 BMI 33.6
loss - 1lb
% lost - 0.51%


Need to lose 3lb average a week for 5 weeks now to hit the 12's *and* 50lb certificate ON my birthday. I know I can do that.
Going for 4lb this week, as my 'comeback' week, lol.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

There it is...

I'm almost relieved, to be honest. Knowing that getting it right 100% of the time is not realistic. I knew eventually the binge would happen, and just hoped I'd be ready to cope with it.

Sam is away this weekend. Went Friday morning and will be back Sunday night. I'm not fazed about being on my own with the kids, I do that all day every day in the week. It's the nights. Kai needs to be physically restrained in order to sleep, and will wake and find it very hard to go back to sleep if he's not stopped from getting out of bed.

I went to meet some friends at Crystal Palace yesterday, left home at 9am and spent a long, sunny, happy day in the park, leaving after 8pm. The girls both fell asleep on the bus back to West Croydon, though I managed to keep Kai awake and chattering. It was after 9pm by the time we got onto our bus back to the village green, and after 5 minutes all of the kids were asleep. Getting off the bus took a bit of juggling, with 4 bags, 4 kids and 2 scooters to wrangle. They were all tired and cold and crying, and I could only carry one, needing a hand free to carry bags/scooters and one for Kai. It was five to ten, and the Co-op lights were on, so I went and grabbed chocolate to spur them on. It did. We got in, got them cleaned up, changed, ready for bed and settled the boys downstairs. Kai realised Sam wasn't about and started bawling. Needed to go to the bathroom, which meant me spending another 30 mins cleaning him up and dressed again. Then moved the boys to the sofas upstairs. Pushed them together to make a square bed/cot thing. Spent a while holding Kai down until he was whimpering but eyes closed. Every time he opened them and saw it was me and not Sam, he'd cry harder, so I turned the TV on low for background noise like Sam's PC and sat on the next sofa to feed the girls off. At about 11-11.30 he slowly drifted off, as did the girls. Then I heard the cat come in with something, eventually chased it out from under my bed, and went to resettle Kai.

I was starving and my head was throbbing, and I grabbed the nearest thing - all the leftover chocolate. Ate about 200g while sat staring at late night telly, too knackered to get ready for bed. Woke up on the beanbag at 1am, and dragged myself into the bathroom, then got myself and the girls to bed. Up again 3 hours later to pin Kai down before he woke fully, then I got another 3 hours kip before they all woke up.

Today I feel shattered. The choc blowout has left me foggy, grumpy and achey. I've split the propoints/calories between Friday and Saturday, and will just face whatever happens scale-wise come Monday, though I am within weekly points by a long way, so may get another small loss. Who knows.

I am really miffed that I grabbed the choc, but very chuffed that I tracked it and stayed aware!

Friday -
13629/4672 steps (5.7 miles)
31/31 propoints & 23 weekly (2210/1200 cals)


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Stronger week.

It's been an OK week, lots of errand-running and trying to clear my 'jobs' so this weekend I have nothing extra needing to be done while I'm solo-parenting.

Tuesday we did our usual library visit and park trip - with the new scooters that had arrived that morning, lots of squabbling over who had a turn next (they're expensive, so the girls are sharing one and Seth has one on credit while he pays me back)! Completed week 3 of the C25K, but felt quite breathless, couldn't work out why but it felt allergy based. :/

Tuesday -
10909/4672 steps (4.5 miles)

31/31 propoints (1182/1200 cal)

Spent Wednesday in Reigate. My mum-in-law had been away for 4 weeks in her caravan and had a few days back before she was off again. Spent a few hours in the sun at Priory park then back to hers to meet Sam. The kids and Sam had a (gluten free - thankyou M-I-L) dinner while I popped to the tattoo studio for a    quickie! It's a smallish design on my lower leg, based on a wrap (woven cloth carrier for 'wearing' babies/children) by Didymos, called 'Pfau'. My first wrap, over 6 years ago, was a didymos. The Pfau design is over 30 years old and I have loved it (despite the retro garishness) since I first saw it! I love babywearing for saving me as a mother, want to carry the memories of the beautiful times with me always, even if my broodlings get too big to physically carry anymore!

Wednesday -
15763/4672 steps (6.6 miles)
31/31 propoints & 6 weekly (1467/1200 cal)

Thursday we were out of the house fairly early, on our way to Oxted to get stuff sorted at the council. Still all up in the air after Sam starting back at work and Kai getting DLA (and me getting Carer's Allowance). Our tax credits have all changed and I've been drowning in claim forms and calculations. Today's visit *should* get everything in order, and we're finally on top of monthly in/outgoings.
Met my mum and sister afterwards for coffee and chose a flapjack and latte. Was a tad shocked when it came to 16 PPs. Got home and ate soup mid afternoon, managed to stay on track but the huge amount of carbs had me shattered by the time I went out driving. Still, the lesson went well. My 2nd time behind the wheel and I was doing corners, uphill, in the rain. With other cars, and dogs, and pedestrians! Beginning to believe I may actually manage to drive properly at some point!

Also got in another dress today - one that I like, in theory, but couldn't get into once I'd bought it. (Another Primark 18 that I bought in January, still in denial that I was as big as I was).

Wore it to Oxted and forgot that I was even in a dress. Had compliments on it too, which felt weird. I did notice that the usually quite blunt/rude lady who deals with the benefits desk was smiling and friendly for the first time. I'm going to say it was the dress, but maybe the purple quiff helped? ;)

dress #19 - 27+325

40 days until my birthday, and 8 dresses to go.. that's one every 5 days?! I think I can manage it! Would feel good to have completed *one* task I set myself here this year!!


Thursday -
14016/4672 steps (5.8 miles)
31/31 propoints (1097/1200 cal)

My only 'concern' over the next few days of Sam being away (from Fri morning until Sunday night) is getting my running in. I couldn't run today as by the time I'd got back from driving and then popping out to buy milk etc, it was too late. I can't go out again until Sunday evening, at the earliest. That'll mean a 5 day gap between runs.. hoping it doesn't go against me.

Monday, August 15, 2011

weak week

Wanted 3.5lbs off this week to take me back under 14stone (196), and I got more than halfway there. I know I shouldn't be disappointed with 2lb, it's a fantastic loss. Some weeks you lose less anyway, and this week I ate the majority of my weekly points, so a smaller loss was to be expected! Missing my weekly target for the first time does sting though.


So, going to knuckle down this week - have realised I now have just over a stone to lose to get my 50lbs off certificate, and 6 weeks (today) until my birthday - would start my 29th year off well, no? Losing 2.5lbs a week will get me there, so I'm setting a mid-term goal now


Miles walked - 41.6

previous weight - 199 BMI 34.2
current weight - 197 BMI 33.8
loss - 2lb
% lost - 1%

Aiming for 3lbs this week, well back into the 13s, and just 5lbs (2 more weeks?) until blue butterfly!

Monday -
15825/4672 steps (6.6 miles)
31/31 propoints (1178/1200 cal)

Sunday, August 14, 2011

pushing it..

Worried my flapjack noms of Saturday will mean I won't get the 3.5lb loss I need to get into the 13s tomorrow.


Used 42/49 weekly propoints and while I know the official line is that I can use them all and still lose, I'm not so sure.




Am trying to put those fears away, what will be will be. I have got on with tracking and being active etc, so it's been a good, healthy week. Saturday spent in Reigate, Sam got his first tattoo (a fab japanese half sleeve) and I got my old school sparrow with the greek for 'not afraid' from the scripture in Matthew, something I have been reminded of many times. To step forward and not let fear hold me back is something I hope to do from now on.


Wore a dress again today (Sunday). Have had this one a while. It's a primark 18, and their sizing is a roulette, it *just* fits. Though not brilliantly on the boobage! I guess I'll just look forward to wearing this a few more times in the next month or so, before it's too big to use anymore! Took the halflings to the local park and sat chatting with Sam, plotting our anniversary shenanigans.


Dress #18 - 27+321


Saturday -
17488/4625 steps (7.3 miles)
31/31 propoints & 20 weekly (1851/1200 cals)



Sunday -
10683/4625 steps (4.5 miles)
31/31 propoints (1144/1200 cals)

Friday, August 12, 2011

Not binge-ing, but using the weekly points.

Wednesday was a washout. Sam felt rough after Monday and the anaesthetic, so had him home moping about. Seth woke in a not-so-wonderful mood, and then I felt totally wrung out and had a hormonal headache too. Knowing that a friend and her family were very poorly (and we'd seen them a few days before) I decided not to take our grotty selves out to our Home Ed meet in case we were contagious. Ended up getting lots done though - sorting out bills and resetting direct debits now we have proper cashflow again, registering the fluffballs with the local vets and taking them to get their jabs etc.

Felt a bit better by the evening, looking forward to seeing a friend the next day and hoping the head would clear without drugs for my driving lesson!

Head was still bad Thursday, but seeing my mate R for the first time in 2 years (and getting the flat as clear as I can beforehand) cheered me up lots. Felt mildly relieved when Spencer (driving instructor) text me to say he was cancelling as he was ill. Finally took enough drugs to fully zap the evil head and took bigger boy cat to the vets for his MOT and jabs, then went for my 1st run of week 3. Once I'd got the kids ready for bed I was a zombie - fell asleep as soon as I stopped moving!

Woke up Friday and saw a message from E to say she was up for meeting again - means a lot of buses, but a guaranteed good day - and one where the kids run about a lot and give me loads of headspace! Got to the park at around 11.30 and didn't leave until after 7pm. Sam met us at the park, and we got home just after 9pm. Thankfully this week there was no -key/lock breakage!

 Had my 3/4 linen trousers that I bought 4 weeks ago on and realised they are way too big now. Wore a slouchy tunic dress over the top to weasle in another dress. Realised I've only got 6 weeks to get the last 10 dresses done, so have to pick up the pace a bit!

Dress #17 - 27+319  (I swear this mirror is the best in the whole world - makes me look like I actually have a waist!!)


Very ready for the weekend, have to go to the vets again (thank goodness I bought the direct debit plan thingy) as Juno has gone all lame in her front leg. Thankful that my Carer's Allowance has come through!

Wednesday -
7735/4625 steps (3.2 miles)
31/31 propoints & 5 weekly (1483/1200 cals)

Thursday -
12797/4625 steps (5.3 miles)
31/31 propoints & 1 weekly (1328/1200 cals)

Friday -
13381/4625 steps (5.6 miles)
31/31 propoints & 11 weekly (1461/1200 cals)

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Lose 2lbs.. gain 3x as much back almost immediately.

Three cute little 2lb babies! No, they're not Adipose babies!!

I've been keeping a secret from you, blog of mine. On Sunday, Sam and I took the halflings to go feed ducks at a pond 20 minutes away. There are a row of shops between the pond and the playground we intended to go to, one of them being a pet shop. On our way past we saw signs outside saying "Kittens for SALE" 
I felt sad, and a bit cross. I hate seeing bigger animals sold from shops. The hours they're left alone, the cramped quarters. Grrr.

After chucking a loaf of bread at the two fluffy ducklings, we went towards the playground. On the way we went into the shop to cuddle the fluffsky cats.

There were five kittens there. In one crate was a medium sized tortie, and a teeny tabby. Neither moved to us, both looked bored and broken. In the second crate were three tabby kittens of different colours. They were lively and playing. The littlest one, a red tabby with big blue eyes, kept coming over for a cuddle. I fell in love and felt so sad that such beautiful little animals were stuck like that, being sold to anyone who would hand over the cash.

We went to the playground, and a few minutes later Sam went back and BOUGHT THE KITTEN! For our anniversary gift, as it's out 'bronze' year this year. Turns out the little sweetie was a girl, even though she's very red - just to be confusing. Brought her home and she was so affectionate and settled in fast. We named her Crookshanks Ramona Pumpkin Copper. She's just 950grams! (Or 2lbs - my loss this week!)

Crookshanks Ramona Pumpkin Copper 
Sunday night, she cried. She did settle, but those teeny mews made me sad. Monday morning she was *so* affectionate, I was shocked. After getting back from weigh in, we went to Croydon to meet Sam (who'd had a hospital dental appointment so had the day off) and get a cat carrier to get kitty to the vet.

On the way home we popped into the shop again, to double check her age so we could register & insure her, and to see if either of her littermates were still there. She seemed lonely and I wanted to get her a friend, Sam had loved the pretty torbie, and we agreed that if that one was female, and there, we'd get her too. In the shop both kittens were there. Torbie *was* female, so we went to get her out and the look of fear in the eyes of the remaining kitten broke my heart. So the Black/Grey tabby boy came home too.

I am in LOVE. Took them to the vets tonight to get their first jabs etc, and they're soooo easy, and cuddly and a much better way to de-stress (and spend money) than overeating ever was.

Juno Alice Cheetara Rainbow
Jasper Gizmo Indigo Tygra


Tuesday -
15421/4625 steps (6.4 miles)
31/31 propoints & 4 weekly (1306/1200 cals)

I predict a riot

It's been all over the news, the riots through London over the last few days. Yesterday it hit home. Croydon was like a war zone with hundreds of scumbag eejits piling into the town to loot and damage and burn.

Reeves corner, where we'd been mooching about with the smalls just hours earlier, was destroyed. A man was shot, a teenager had his arm ripped to the tendons. Kids were smashing into stores and making off with goods. Pillars of smoke, women jumping from their flats to avoid the flames creeping from below...

It's shocking, and terrifying.

Sam has been sent home early today, as he has to use London transport to get home and one Croydon station was shut yesterday, and a double decker bus set alight.

Feeling glad that I have a full week's shopping in. My family all under the roof, and our home is far enough away from any commercial property that we should be fine here. Praying for all my friends who aren't though. Sad times.

Monday, August 08, 2011

Under 200 (for the LAST time. Ever. I mean it)

6 weeks in and I'm a third of the way to 'goal'.

Wanted 2lbs off this week to take me under the 200lb mark, and that's just what I got.
Miles walked - 44.1

previous weight - 201 BMI 34.5
current weight - 199 BMI 34.2
loss - 2lb
% lost - 1%

Aiming for 3.5lbs this week, back under 14 stone ^_^

Monday -
22312/4625 steps (9.3 miles)
31/31 propoints & 1 weekly (1250/1200 cals)

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Changes

Had a fun day today - took the smalls to the next-but-one village, to feed the ducks and play in a 'new' (to them) playground. Little fluffy ducklings on the pond got a lot of attention, and bread, from the kids.

Ended up going through the photos on my very-near-capacity phone, deleting what I could, and found one taken on the train home after the Race For Life and London Eye day a week ago.

Seth and I had grabbed a late lunch at Victoria after walking about 10-11 miles. We were both really hungry and wanted 'treats'.

Looking at what Seth chose (what I would have chosen a month previous) next to what I picked *really* highlighted the changes in the way that I'm seeing food.



Sunday -
12803/4556steps (5.3 miles)
30/31 propoints (1197/1200 cals)

Cut calories by getting locked out

Has been a fun, busy, outdoorsy, somewhat-stressy couple of days. We were going out and seeing friends back at Crystal Palace Park on Friday. Only had my skinny jeans to wear (major laundry backlog) and could *not* wear them with a shorter top. A forced dress #16! Another one I don't like at all - I look like a dodgy, dinnerlady stereotype. 


dress#16 - 27+312


Spent a sunny day wandering about (and eating too many carbs!) Had a sad accident and lost my pedometer. Went back to search, but looks like someone picked it up. At least I'd gone almost exactly the same route as the week before, so I counted that day for steps.


Met Sam in Croydon and went home all together, grabbing ice creams to walk back with. Got to our door at 7.30pm, and Sam snapped the key in the lock. Argh! Cue me borrowing tools (and another pedometer) from my parents, but nada.


£135 and 16 hours later, we've a new lock/handle. Kind of killed our plan to go get our anniversary ink done though. >:(


Spent today doing laundry and had an easy afternoon over at the nature reserve. Got in the w2d2 run for c25k too, pleased that I can feel things slowly getting easier already. Clever body. ^_^


Friday - 
20997/4556steps (8.7 miles)
31/31 propoints & 4 weekly (1357/1200 cals)



Saturday -
15676/4556steps (6.5 miles)
29/31 propoints (1040/1200 cals)

Thursday, August 04, 2011

In the driving seat

Focusing on sticking to it this week. The novelty is beginning to wear off and while I have good habits in place, I'm aware how easy it is to slip!!


On Tuesday I took pics of dress #15. I'd worn it to weigh in the day before, and again to the shops and library, so it certainly counts for being worn in public.


I dislike it *greatly* Horrid shapeless thing. Was grinning like a mad thing to discover a broken strap, muaha. Am plotting to chop it into headscarves now.


dress #15 - 27+309


Tuesday 
11217/4556steps (4.7 miles)
31/31 propoints & 5 weekly (1445/1200 cals)



Spent the day with my friend Lolly on Wednesday, she'd had an operation last week, so journeyed over to her with the smalls and spent an afternoon in the sun at the park. Even though it was really quite sticky and warm, I went and did w2d1 of c25k, still some pulling in the calves, but stretching out is helping.


Wednesday 
18242/4556steps (7.6 miles)
30/31 propoints (1127/1200 cals)


Today I faced a huge fear, went well outside my comfort zone, I had my first ever driving lesson worrying, and feeling really narked off with everyone and everything. Narrowly avoided eating my worry, instead did loads of cleaning.
The lesson went really well, now I've got 7 days grace until I have to get out there and go for it again!



Thursday 
6607/4556steps (2.7  miles)
31/31 propoints (1205/1200 cals)


Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Lost the weight of a thing

'The Things' aka Maya and Anya now weigh around 31lbs each at 3 years old. I am 31lbs down from my top weight of 232lbs. Though I do still carry them occasionally, the idea of lugging one of the girls about with me wherever I go is not a nice one! Yet, just a month ago I was!

After posting about needing to wear dress #14 last week, I was reminded that I had already worn a 14th dress - at my sister's wedding.

Dress 14 27+244

It was a size 20, flesh coloured, floor length, thing. I was near tears at the thought of wearing it for weeks. Of course I had my period and bloated so any chance of it fitting went out the window. Instead I spent the day with the zip forced just far enough so the too tight bolero covered the open back, then had to safety pin the bolero to the front to keep the boob portion up. I felt so disgusting, the shortest, oldest, fattest one wearing the same dress as the childless, slim friends of my sister. I was gutted.

Now I've lost the weight of a Thing, I decided to try on the sausage skin, and it fits (and it still looks awful on me).

Indigo

And I saw you crashing in
And saw you crack a smile

.........
Coz you're my little indigo girl
Its a beautiful world when you are around



(Indigo Girl - Watershed)





Indigo Butterfly. For hitting 14.5stone. Another 5 stone to go until a healthy 9.5. ^_^ The butterflies are working too - this week I had a couple people ask if I was close to #2 yet!



Tattoo #2 today, to celebrate my second stone lost. Over the last 4 weeks I've felt myself begin to enjoy life more. Going out, seeing friends, forgetting about (or at least choosing to not think about) my weight and just jumping in and getting on with living. Realising that although I feel worthless and disgusting, there are people who love me and honestly do like me being about. Refusing to 'do' life hasn't just been hurting me. I'm not putting life on hold just until I'm good enough, anymore. I'm good enough now.

Monday, August 01, 2011

30lbs off in 5 weeks!!!

Needed a 2.5lb loss this week to hit 28lb off - my second stone. Last Friday I saw 203 on the scale and knew I had it in the bag. Then yesterday I was back up to 205. The urge to binge and sulk was strong, but I looked back and saw this had happened before so I stuck to plan and the next day I'd dropped another 4lbs!!

So many little milestones hit today -

  • I'm now 1/3 of the way to a 'healthy' BMI
  • 2nd stone off = new butterfly ^_^
  • BMI of <35 - plain 'obese' not 'severely'
  • lost the weight of one of my 3 year olds!
I feel so happy, really confident and content with how things are for me food/activity wise.

My aim for this next week is to get under 200lbs. After a 4.5lb week I won't expect another 3lb loss, but if I can get 2lb off that'll take my to 199lb. Just sounds *so* much better when my weight begins ONE hundred...


Miles walked - 44

previous weight - 205.5 BMI 35.3
current weight - 201 BMI 34.5
loss - 4.5lb
% lost - 2.19%

Monday - 
20607/4556steps (8.6 miles)
31/31 propoints & 7 weekly (1423/1200 cals)