back on it ^_^

Miles walked - 30.5
previous weight - 196 BMI 33.6
current weight - 192 BMI 33
loss - 4lb
% loss - 2.04%


Feel happy with that result. Especially after a weekend of not much moving and lots of scrummy food - the big, gym-heavy front half of the week pulled me through for a 4lb loss.


11lbs to go to hit the 50lb off that I want for New Year, and 5 weeks to do it. It's a reasonable goal, and will feel amazing to start 2012 halfway to goal and in the 12 stone range. I'm going to do it. ^_^ 


Feeling back on an even keel. Spent yesterday in Brighton with a mate and tracked my eating (even with a visit to Choccywoccydoodah!)


Aiming for a 2-3lb loss this week. Going to eat all my daily & weekly but not touch my AP. Earned 48 last week, aiming for the same this week. ^_^

Shake it Out

"Tonight I'm going to bury that horse in the ground
I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn."


"It's hard to dance with the devil on your back, so shake him off"


Been listening to Florence + The Machine A LOT this week, really good music + lyrics for pushing through when working out. Looking forward to getting tickets tomorrow, to *finally* see her live next March!


All is going well with eating/living here. Been gymming each day, eating well, feeling good. Trying to push myself this week, doing stuff I find 'scary', but that is good for me/my family.


I booked my driving test yesterday - first available date was for a little over 5 months time, which  I should be ready for. 


Today my brother has cried off going to work out, so I'm plotting to take the twins swimming instead. More than a little nervous at the thought of being in a swimming costume around other people. Voiced my fear to Sam, in Seth's earshot..


'Why are you scared of being in a swimming outfit and fat? I don't get it? Is it 'cos you think you will sink?'


I explained that no, though that is a valid reason to be scared, I am just worried people will see me and think yuck.


'But that is weird, why would people care? And why would they think you look yucky? You are a nice person.'


So, with my 6yo pointing out that I'm being a shallow idiot, I am going. 

Tuesday-

30PP earned 11AP

9801 steps/4.08 miles

10 minutes warm up on the bike @ 90rpm
a minute stretching ^_^
15 minutes cross trainer @ 9kmph up & downhill
8 minutes rowing machine
3 x 12 reps chest press 25 kg
3 x 12 reps row 30 kg
3 x 12 reps shoulder press 12.5 kg
3 x 12 reps leg press 50 kg

1 x 12 reps pull down 35kg
5 minutes recline bike @ 65rpm
2 minutes stretching

Ugh. Ugh. Hanging on by the skin of my teeth.

It's been a shitfest of a month, November.

Got back on track and felt good, had done a good first week in the gym, had a decent loss and felt ok. Then husbeast came home and told me he'd been made redundant. Again.

I did well the first day. Went out and smashed out the anger/fear/sadness in the gym. But then panic set in and I hid at home eating. Missed weigh in the next week as I was ill (read run down, stressed and sulking) and continued to not move much and eat crap.

Last week I went and faced the music. Had gained 8lbs which was totally deserved. Then went and gigged at smashing pumpkins and ate too much, but felt ok. We've worked out a temp job for Sam, I'd decided I couldn't let myself fall into the trap of thinking that stopping living was less painful than pushing through.

On Friday my period arrived, so I felt rubbish-er, ate wheat and copious amounts of chocolate and put on another 2lbs.

Ugh.

BUT. I went to group yesterday, I tracked, I went to the gym (I'm headed there again in an hour) and I know I am back in a good place, after a fortnight of stress, illness, hormones and it being that time of year.

Sam will be back working again in a couple of weeks, I can keep my weightwatchers and gym membership and I've ONLY gained 10lbs. It's not a small amount, but it's nothing compared to what it could be if I hid and pretended I didn't mind (again).

I still have 6 weeks until 2012 arrives. I could chuck a stone off by then easy, hit the 50lb mark that's been looming for months now! Break that halfway barrier. I'm sure if the energy I feel now gets going that I'll manage more than that. I would LOVE to go into 2012 out of  the 'obese' range. We'll see!

Monday-
30PP earned 16AP
17414 steps/7.25 miles


10 minutes warm up on the bike @ 90rpm
a minute stretching ^_^
15 minutes cross trainer @ 9kmph up & downhill
8 minutes rowing machine
3 x 12 reps chest press 25 kg
3 x 12 reps row 30 kg
3 x 12 reps shoulder press 12.5 kg
3 x 12 reps leg press 50 kg
1 x 12 reps pull down 35kg
5 minutes recline bike @ 65rpm
2 minutes stretching

Catch up...

31st Oct - 
Miles walked - 25

previous weight - 190.5 BMI 32.7

current weight - 186 BMI 31.9
loss - 4.5lb
% loss - 2.37%




7th Nov - weighed at home
Miles walked - 24
previous weight - 186 BMI 31.9
current weight - 191 BMI 32.8
gain - 5lb
% gain - 2.69%




14th Nov - back to meeting
Miles walked - 35
previous weight - 191 BMI 32.8
current weight - 194 BMI 33.3
gain - 3lb
% gain - 1.57%




21st Nov - went to meeting, hid from scales!
Miles walked - 32
previous weight - 194 BMI 33.3
current weight - 196 BMI 33.6
gain - 2lb
% gain - 1.03%