Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Late for weigh in!

Sam did go and buy new scales, and while they did weigh in less than our knackered old ones, it wasn't by a lot :( Still, these are really accurate (or at least very very consistent, doesn't matter which way you stand on them, one legged or tilting right, you weigh the same each time...)

previous weight - 213 BMI 36.6
current weight - 211 BMI 36.2
Loss - 2lb
% loss - 0.94%

We took the Halflings to the cinema today, with KidsAM prices it was £9 for all six of use to go and watch TinTin and The Secret Of The Unicorn (which I hadn't seen yet, so yay!) Bought the kids a box of popcorn and fizz each (that cost £11!!) and settled down for a couple of hours easy-parenting ;)

First time in AGES that I've gone to the cinema and not bought crappy food to munch. It was fine, really, fine. I sat and enjoyed the film and didn't shove half my days food in empty calories down my throat!

Got an email from our landlord to say we need to have a visit to check the condition of the flat. That sent me into a panic - I HATE the idea of people coming into my home, barely cope with the meter guy. The idea that he will judge my home really makes me feel sick. It's daft, the place is clean. The carpet downstairs needs replacing, but that's 4 years of small kids and a damp basement for you.. I did lots of big breathing and calmed down a bit. A few months ago that would have been a binge..

As it was I headed out to the gym -

  • Cycle - 6min (2.54km)
  • Rowing - 4min (800m)
  • Cross trainer - 10min (1.69km )
  • Treadmill - 10min 1km
  • Shoulder press 15 kg 3x12
  • Fly 35kg 3x12
  • Leg extension 35kg 3x12
  • Deltoid Row 27.5kg 3x12
  • Abductor 39.5kg 3x12
  • Adductor (5)  21kg 3x12
  • Pull down 35kg 3x12
30min Cardio & 15min Strength training.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Carry On (Or the bank hol scales of angst)

Our scales are broken (I think, pretty sure anyway)

I weighed on them yesterday first thing to get a peek, knew there would be no weigh in at meeting this morning, as it's the bank holiday. I saw 209.5 and felt very pleased! Then an hour later I was on them again to weigh the cats for worming meds, and saw that they were showing 214 0_0 I felt very upset, but kept hold of the fact that I had seen the lower number, and that I hadn't put anything in to cause a gain of 4.5lbs in an hour!

Last night Sam got on them, they showed him at 263 (3lbs above last weeks weigh in) and me at 216 (3lbs above last weeks weigh in) - we both KNOW that cannot be right. So he's off buying new scales today, figuring ours have died.

I am going to weigh in on them tomorrow, then go to the Sanderstead meeting to get official WI done  and compare results with new scales. Ugh.

Quiet bank holiday today, Sam is working. No gym tonight as they shut at 5pm. Am plotting going for a run tonight instead. Have done weekly food shop and have been tracking right - just got to carry on and not let wonky scales upset my mojo. ^_^

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Spring cleaning the wardrobe, ready for Autumn (?!)

I had the Weightwatchers email on Sunday, and then the same subject covered again at meeting on Monday.

My FLYlady email was suggesting going through the wardrobes and chucking stuff that didn't fit/get worn at all too.

I'd already decided I needed to go through the kids' clothes, they've been given bags of hand-me-downs recently and the dining table was swamped!

All the hints were enough, even for me -

So I spent a few hours going through my wardrobe completely. I hadn't realised how much I had that was too big already! Or how many things I was holding on to because they fit, but I felt awful wearing. Or how many things were simply not getting used at all, just taking up too much space.

Once I was finished I had 2 bin bags full of nwanted clothes to go to charity, and a wardrobe that was tidy and useable.

top weight, squeezed into size 22/24 
On a whim I tried on some size 18s that haven't fit since January, and they fit fine! I've been staying in some 22s that I could *just* squeeze on 2 months ago, not daring to try smaller sizes yet.

Being still so overweight, it's easy to overlook how much of a difference I've made to my health/shape/size already. But I *am* nearly 10% down on my start weight, and eating clean and working out.

Being 2-3 sizes down from my top weight already, is pretty awesome. I've still got a long way to go, but I do need to make sure that I appreciate how far I have come already instead of just thinking that I'm 'still' fat/too big/unhealthy. Got to do that positive spin that motivates so well - I'm so much less fat, so much smaller, so much healthier!

Today, size 18

I didn't do measurements at the beginning of August, after a month chasing the same lbs up and down, I thought it pointless. By next week I hope to be recording some BIG changes seeing the difference in my clothes!

Having started back at the gym too, I am really looking forward to watching my shape change, and chucking out the 16s and 18s when I go through my wardrobe next time!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Non-traditional 9th anniversary gift..

22nd August - on my way to the gym ^_^
My parents bought me a wonderful gift for my 9th wedding anniversary (Sam gets me being thrilled, that is enough for emo-husband this year) - a 6 week membership to the gym ^_^

My mum had been wanting to go for a while, but was scared of going alone. I said I was wanting to head back soon anyway, and would come along to handhold - Wednesday night both she and my dad signed up, and I tagged along too.

Was so GOOD to get back on it. Went around with my parents doing cardio then weights, and mum was ace.

Tonight we went back, my parents to swim, and me to gym. I earned 9AP in one hour, which I'm chuffed with, and again just felt so good to be back using my body properly.

Am going to keep track of what I do each visit, build myself up a new plan - tonight I did;

  • 6 minutes warm up on the cycle at 90rpm L10 - (2.42km)
  • c25k w2d2 on the crosstrainer L5 - (23mins 3.1km)
  • 4 minute cooldown on the Stepper L6, 3 floors per min - (12 floors)
  • Shoulder press 15kg 3x10 reps
  • Fly 35kg 3x10 reps
  • Leg Extension 35kg 3x10 reps
  • Deltoid Row 27.5kg 3x10 reps
  • Hip Abductor 35kg 3x10 reps
  • Hip Adductor 14kg 3x10 reps
  • Pulldown 35kg 3x10 reps
Going again on Monday night, will complete c25k week 2 if I don't run it on Sunday night :) Feels really good to be gettin stronger again, not just slimmer.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Believing (or not letting your head give out before your legs do...)

Went back out for a run tonight. Am only on week two, only covering just over 2 miles in 30 minutes, but it HURTS. I am so big and so unfit again, managing to keep putting my feet down, and picking them up, is actually pretty hard work.

Couple of times early on in tonight's program I nearly stopped, my lungs shrieking, head thinking I should just wait until I'm smaller. But my legs kept on running, and then Franka Potente 'Believe' came on my ipod, and I couldn't not keep going! Fatgrrrl Rennt!
I don't believe in trouble I don't believe in pain I don't believe there's nothing left but running here again 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Not a weak week

So could have been, after my stupid moment of scale hopping. Having the talk last week about seeing the positive and not letting the inner cynic trash my efforts was *just* what was needed to get me back from the edge though. I stuck to 33 PP each day, earned 36 activity points and kept my 49 weekly banked, for a great 3lb loss this morning -

previous weight - 216 BMI 371
current weight - 213 BMI 36.6
Loss - 3lb
% loss - 1.39%

There's no meeting next week 0_0 as it's bank holiday, but I NEED to stick to losing at this rate to hit my birthday goal. It's simple Keep active, keep tracking. 14 days - I can do 14 good days. I want 5.5lb off for September 3rd.

Have my 9th wedding anniversary this Thursday - we're plotting a trip out with friends for a picnic though, and a bit of walking. Got to keep the booze minimal! Then next week we're going out on a day boat with my parents, and have booked to go to London Zoo's little creatures family day. Going to keep on top of my hunger those days, avoid nibbling bits I've not planned, and I'll see the loss I'm after.

Today's meeting topic was about spring cleaning our wardrobes, getting rid of clothes that hampered our feeling good about ourselves, only wearing things that fit and made us look and feel good.

I've not yet lost enough that my clothes need huge amounts of changing out, but I am going to go through the wardrobes anyway and chuck anything that makes me feel less than how I should feel - all while enjoying my beautiful new blooms!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Pushing through

Yewch. I have struggled today.

I woke up feeling rough. Nauseated and irritable and blugh. But I got up and got my boy dressed and headed out to London for his Lollibop Festival.

He had a BLAST. Saw Katy ("I can cook Katy - she is there. LOOK!") and Mister Maker and lots of live acts that he recognised and I didn't. It was so, SO hot. My head was pounding and I was melting into the ground.

After 2-3 hours of sweating and avoiding calorific crap, we left to eat our lunches. He then asked to go to the zoo. So we did. Another 2 hours of wandering about and being too hot.

By the time we were on our way home, he was grinning and chatting and telling me he loved me (any child telling you they love you is just heartfail awesome, but to have an autistic son go from not calling you mum to saying "I love you so much mummy" in about 6 months is just overwhelming) - the affection and cuteness just about gave me the strength to lead us home.

Too hot, too fat, agh. I came in and collapsed after setting him up with a DVD and drink on my bed.

I've seen, for ages, Jack's W.I.D.T.H. posts and meant to contribute. I must do it. Why I Do This Here - there are so many reasons, mostly for me, lots for my husband/kids, my friends and family etc... the biggest most NECESSARY reason for Why I Do need to lose This weight Here and now is so I can really care for Kai. All kids deserve healthy parents who can chase them around and live for a long, long time. Kai NEEDS me to. If I can't keep up, he can't go. If I'm not here to care for him, WTH happens then?

And having the energy and zest for living that means I see this boy?

That on it's own is reason enough to do this.

And so I will. ^_^

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Scale-stalking success

.. so, after the mornings' upset, I blogged it out and got on with my day. I stuck to my planned foods and didn't melt into a puddle. (I also did not go for my run, but that was because I was baking flapjacks and loaf cake - both with banana so I won't eat them! - ready for tomorrow).

On the scales last thing, and I weigh 4lbs LESS than first thing. Bizarre body.

scale-stalking side effects

I know it can be a contentious issue, how often weigh ins should happen, some people want to after every meal, some daily, or weekly, or monthly. Others prefer to never use a scale, instead looking only at other factors for physical health (fitness, measurements etc).

I'm happy enough weighing weekly. Any less frequent and I can go off the rails, pretend that all is OK as I slowly put on weight. Any more and I'm going to get disheartened at normal fluctuations.

Like I have today.

I am in the habit of jumping on the scales first thing, just because our scales are right there. Up until yesterday I had watched the numbers creep down. It looked like I'd dropped 4lb since Monday. This morning it was right back up to 216.

There's no way I should have gained weight, I haven't eaten over my points, I've been active, I've not eaten wheat. So I *know* it's just a blip, a fluctuation, should be back down by tomorrow, etc. But it just threw me completely to see the 'wrong' number. I felt defeated, and confused and just unhappy.

Thankfully, the 'glass half full' topic from meeting came back to me. So I spun the positives - I know I should have lost weight. I have eaten well and tracked. I am active and feeling better. The result WILL show at the scales if I carry on this way.

Then looked back at previous posts here, and realised that this did happen a lot a year ago too - I would show a small loss, maybe a sts or gain, but the next day would melt a load of weight.

I am going to go for a run when Sam gets in from work, tomorrow I have the Lollibop festival to go to. It's sunny and lovely out and I have good whole food to eat. I am determined to only think of the positives, and they will be what guide my actions. ^_^

Friday, August 17, 2012


This week I came home with the groups tracker/journal.

I planned out my weeks food and activity, and wrote down what my goals and priorities for the week were.

Come Monday I will enter my weight loss for the week, then hand it over to the next person. It will be out there for anyone to read. And so I have felt like I needed to justify every morsel. Every point needed to be a good choice, and I have done such a GOOD week.

I have run twice (and intending to go out again tonight) I have stuck to my daily points, I have eaten good filling foods, not junk. I have pre-planned the 2 days out so I wouldn't overeat once home, or make the wrong choices while out.

My beautiful roses I bought on Monday are fully open and look like they will start losing petals soon. Already having a think about what kind of flowers I might want next week ^_^

Sam started WeightWatchers online this week - it's given him 58 propoints a day. FIFTY EIGHT!! He's using them though - look forward to seeing how he does come Monday.

Monday - 33/33 pp - ran w1d2 c25k, earned 9 ap.
Tuesday - 33/33 pp - earned 1 ap.
Wednesday - 33/33 pp - ran w1d3 c25k, earned 6 ap.
Thursday - 33/33 pp - earned 9 ap.

Hoping to keep up the running again now. If I can run every other day I'll be well on the way to managing 5k again near my birthday. I'm aiming to rejoin the gym on my birthday, assuming that I hit my sub200lb goal. To be able to use the treadmill on really nasty icy days (instead of falling into the main road) would be a treat!

Monday, August 13, 2012

2 months in

And as of weigh in today, 18lbs down. Really quite happy with that, as I've already had a rocky fortnight or so where weightloss stalled totally. But then doing something anxiety inducing, as someone who's had issues with compulsive eating around stress, that's not a huge surprise.

previous weight - 218.5 BMI 37.5 
current weight - 216 BMI 37.1
Loss - 2.5lb
% loss - 1.15% 

6 weeks left until my 29th birthday, and 16.5lbs to be under that 200lb mark - 2.5lb a week won't quite get me there, but it'll get me really close!! I did use 32/49 weekly points this week too, so am fairly satisfied that by sticking to my 33 daily propoints this week I'll manage my 'goal' of 3lb off.

Meeting today was about finding the positive every week, keeping motivated even with weeks where we end up with small losses/maintains in weight. Felt quite good then to go buy my 'treat' of a new bunch of blooms ^_^

I also volunteered to bring the groups' journal home - each week a different member takes it and tracks in it. It's certainly making me think very very carefully before eating, knowing that people who I meet with each week will have access to my foody secrets!!

Two days out this week - one on Thursday to meet friends for a picnic, so I've got to spend some time on Wednesday prepping food. Then on Sunday I'm taking Rhinoboy to Lollibop festival in Regents' Park. I've ordered a graze box for me to take along so I can snack through the day and know I'm safely inside my propoints allowance.

In the group journal, it's asked me to give 3 aims for the week.

  1.  Keep to my 33 propoints a day
  2. Keep hydrated
  3. Keep running (run at least 3 days, following c25k plan).
I'm wearing a pedometer again too, to track my activity as I'm very aware that I have become very unfit and am in a degree of pain almost constantly. More exercise/strengthening can only be a good thing.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Motivation - motivate your mind

Weightwatchers email this morning was all about keeping aware and motivated, whatever stage of the weightloss journey you happen to be at.

I am aware that I'm fairly near the start. In terms of feeling healthy and slim. In terms of level of fitness. In terms of having a naturally positive relationship with food and exercise.

That's ok. With time and work I'll get there. Keeping motivated each week though, is hard at times. I have goals, but keeping them in mind day to day can prove tricky. I need to be able to see something, several times a day that gives me a boost, is able to remind me to keep at it and feels like a 'treat'.

As I walked home from weigh-in on Monday, I passed my local Co-operative shop, they had bunches of flowers outside, as usual, and I really LOVED the look of one bunch - big happy sunflowers and beautiful rich bush sage. I treated myself to a bunch, and over the last week I have really REALLY enjoyed something so vibrant and beautiful, a total luxury for myself.

Each week that I lose at weigh in, I will buy myself a new bunch for the vase. They need replacing today, and have looked droopy for a couple of days. It will feel really good to replace them in the morning. ^_^

Monday, August 06, 2012

Back to meetings

Got up and out to my weightwatchers meeting this morning - had been a month since I last went, and 4lbs loss. Not been the most motivated month, but at least I've done 1lb a week average?

I have 7 weeks now until my 29th birthday, I want to hit sub 200lb for then, need to do just over 2.5lbs a week to manage that. Skates on time.

previous weight - 220 BMI 37.8 
current weight - 218.5 BMI 37.5
Loss - 1.5lb
% loss - 0.68%

15.5lbs off my highest weight, and I'm over halfway to just plain 'obese' *whoot*

If I can hit my goal for my birthday then I'll be getting my gym membership back in September. I really want to get back there, but need to shift some mass before I can manage to lift weight at all.