Monday, October 08, 2012

Grin and Bare it v2

I have to chuckle at myself, reading back sometimes. When I started blogging my weightloss I was 24. I had been overweight for only 4 years, and pregnant 3 times, so total time spent just being overweight was less than 2 years. I was young (yes, I am only 29 now, but wow do these years of motherhood grow up a person fast!) and especially young in how I saw my body/health. When I first went to weightwatchers my main reason to lose weight was to 'look nice' and 'fit clothes I like'. Don't get me wrong, I still want those things, but they are not reasons that motivate me day to day.
I want to be pain free.
I want to run.
I want to have a diabetes free life.
I want to have a longer life.
I want my blood pressure to remain safe.
I want to be able to keep up with my kids.
I want to be able to enjoy good food.
I want to be able to not think about how I look.
I want to be able to pull on clothes and not worry about if they fit.

October 2012 - 203.5lbs
& right now I *am* doing all these things, already.
The weight loss is of course fantastic, it is doing heaps for my fitness and mobility and just feeling good about myself, but is just an outward sign of the inner stuff that's happening, that is where the truly amazing changes are happening. I am not in pain day to day now, there's still a background ache, but it doesn't 'register' unless I think about it. I am running again, my body is becoming healthier already. I am spending more time enjoying my children, eating good whole food - and giving the kids the gift of an active & healthy lifestyle. I've gone through my wardrobe each week and ditched too-big clothes so I can reach in, grab and dress without stress.

The last couple of months I have really stopped worrying about my size in terms of  'how I look' and stripped to a swimsuit three times now to swim. I am not letting the fat hold me back. I am stronger than it is ^_^

May 2009 - 50bs lighter than now - BMI 27 - I was actually unconvinced that I was *acceptable* enough to be ok to take my 4 year old son swimming. I was a size 12. I didn't feel ok with myself, I was not running, or enjoying the kids actively, or feeling comfortable with myself. I couldn't even look at the camera.

September 2010 - 30lbs lighter than now - 16 months later I had grown up a bit, been back up and down the scale and was aware of my size, but wanted to enjoy my holiday and let the kids swim. Being away gave me the confidence to just do it. And I was feeling good about changes in my body too - eyes to camera.

From September 2010 until September 2012 I did not attempt once to go swimming. I took Seth for lessons, but didn't go in until last month, when I got fed up with the 'wait to be an 'ok' size' mentality, and decided to get on with living.

No-one has dropped dead seeing me at >200lb in the pool. I have enjoyed aquafit, the kids loved going swimming together, I'm going to carry on grinning as I bare it. ^_^

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