Friday, November 30, 2012

Dressember eve!

It's the end of November. And I'm feeling good. Winter starts tomorrow (in my mind, it's TOMORROW) and I am not feeling like I need to burrow down and eat all the goose fat. Not yet.

Thursday was a bit of a washout day - I got some planning done for Christmas time. We are staying at Sam's mums house Christmas eve, and having Christmas dinner all together. I have got our gluten free mince pies sorted, found some stuffing mix that we can have, and have got ingredients to make some yorkshire puddings, that I can freeze to take with us on the day.

I did get out for a run, but late. It was freezing, but I got round okay. Got home, showered, went to bed and could not sleep. For the first time in over 10 years I had cystitis. Yuck. Chugged down lots of water, had a warm bath and took a big dose of anti-inflammatory, and managed to get to sleep around 4am.

Thursday -
29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
3 miles

Exciting post day today - my lavintage Hell Bunny dress arrived (after I sent back the wrong dress which I tried on for size last week). As I knew that I wasn't going to fit into the XL for Emma's birthday, I ordered a medium, which is now hanging in my wardrobe, ready to be worn for my 10th anniversary next August! (That was originally what I wanted the dress for, hah!)

My corset arrived, to go with some bits I already had, to put together a burlesque-ish outfit for next week. Tried it all on and think it'll do ok.

Not strictly a dress, but I doubt I'll be scantily clad compared to others there! Am very pleased to have something like a normal female shape back, even if every measurement is a little big, they look far more proportionately correct than they were a few months ago.

I'm going to have to plan the weekend properly soon - it's only 8 days away now. I'm hoping to meet friends in Leicester for an hour or two in the afternoon, before meeting with Tracy & her hubby, and Kirsty for dinner. Then we can all pile into my travelodge room and get ready for the party together. Proper night out ^_^ epic.

I'm feeling really relaxed about going away/eating out for 2 days and it not being a Bad Thing. I remember not having total control before meant things went tits up - in a much better, less disordered head-space now.

Was the last swim lesson for Seth today, really ace to see him diving in, and swimming about happily. He's moving up to the next group next term, and I need to get the girls enrolled in the beginners group. It's such an easy way for us all to have a fun day together, and stay active, especially as they get older.

No gym tonight, as my parents got back late from their night away, going to head over early tomorrow as Sam is off for the day, we're also planning to take the smalls swimming in the afternoon.

Spent an hour getting my dresses ready for tomorrow. The month of Frockery begins! I'll be blogging over on my Dressember blog, but may have to share a little here. I want the next month in dresses to mean that I've worn my size 16 jeans for the last time - if can chuck the jeans I wore today in the charity bin come January, I'll be a VERY happy grrrl.

Friday -
1.5 litres
3 miles

Just got this text from my leader - what a tease!

I am genuinely quite excited to find out what the new changes/enhancements are going to be.

We've been promised that ProPoints are staying, which I am glad of because after getting to grips with it, I can see it works, and forces me to eat mindfully and in a balanced way.

My brother is starting WeightWatchers on Monday, he told me last week, so it should be a good full-on week for him to get his teeth into.

I have NO guesses as to what it is going to be, despite reading lots of 'spoilers' and hearing about how WW is looking at how our brains work with regard to food.

How this will translate to the program? No idea. Roll on Monday!!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Thirty Things to do before I'm Thirty

Trying to clear out dead drafts from the blog cogs.. and came across this post from last March, that I hadn't published.

At that time I wrote a list of 30 achievable things I wanted to do in the following 30 months (being the remaining time until I turned 30 years old).

I now have just under ten months, and really don't think I've done two thirds of the list..

1. Run 10k
2. Be a healthy weight
3. "Go Ape"
4. Learn to drive - DONE 08/11 - 07/12 

5. Do a Triathlon
6. Spartan Race
7. Swim in the sea
8. Volunteer regularly - DONE Beaver scout leader since 03/12
9. Attend Olympics - DONE 3/9/12
10. Take kids camping
11. Music festival
12. Go technology free for a weekend
13. Ice skate at Christmas - DONE 11/12/12
14. Go on a London Tour bus
15. Raise Butterflies - DONE 20/4/13
16. Fast for 30 hours
17. Be part of a flash mob
18. Moonwalk
19. Geocache
20. Learn First aid - DONE 27/4/13
21. Participate in a protest - DONE Midwifery March 25/3/13

22. Spend New Years Eve in the capital - DONE 31/12/12
23. Go to midnight screening, dressed up as a character
24. Do a charity fun run - edit "Gorilla Run"?
25. Have 80's TV sleeve tattoo 
26. Plant a tree - DONE 7/12/12
27. Take up Archery
28. Walk a corn maze - DONE Tulley's Maize Maze 8/9/12

29. Steward an event - DONE MoonWalk 11/5/13
30. Be in a TV audience - DONE 'The Cube' 7/2/12

If I'm going to manage to complete them I have got to get organised - there's only a month to get 13 & 22 sorted!

#1 & #2 are at the forefront of my mind. I hope that I'll manage both by the summer.
#3 Go Ape, I'd said I'd like to do that for my birthday with friends.
#4 is done. And I am glad, because I NEVER want to learn to drive again. And wouldn't have enough time starting now.
#5 I hope to complete the distances of a sprint triathlon next year before my 30th!
#6 I'll be signing up for the Spartan sprint next August.
#7 Swim in the Sea. That's sounding pleasant (please, be sunny next year, please)
#8 doing, and loving it ^_^
#9 SO glad we went. Once in a lifetime stuff.
#10 & #11 - wonder if we could combine the two? Ought to be memorable!
#12 Sounds easy. May actually prove to be the hardest task on the list.
#13 - need to book myself a slot! Fast!
#14 - Seth has been begging to do this for ages. Make plans to take the brood next May/June as a joint birthday outing?
#15 This is one I've meant to do with the smalls for the last two years..
#16 Fast for 30 hours. World Vision used to do a sponsored famine, but the page isn't there...
#17 Be part of a Flash Mob - I so nearly did this last year, was meant to go to London Bridge to be part of a breastfeeding flashmob, but ended up not going cos I felt 'too fat' Sigh.
#18 Moonwalk - the marathon distance is full, but I have logged my interest to steward. If I do that, I'll do the Sunwalk.
#19 Geocache. I have 4 kids, and an iPhone, why am I not doing this already?
#20 Learning First Aid. I *think* I may have to do this for my Beavers leader training anyway, but if not I can book on with St Johns Ambulance and do a course. Again, something I think I *should* know, being alone with my 4 as often as I am.
#21 Participate in a Protest. I've been to the BMA anti-Nestle protest a few times, but never really PARTICIPATED (though Seth has, he is all over the web page, lol) Next May I will.
DONE! We took the tribe to the capital for NYE #22 We'd been toying with the idea of taking the kids up to London this year. Has to be done now..
#23 Gah, Catching Fire comes out after my birthday, I have to go as Effie. Will have to see what's due out I guess - Steampunk for Great Expectations would have worked too.
#24 Charity run, I am DESPERATE to do the Great Gorilla Run - 7km through London - next year, 5 days before my birthday.
#25 Haha! Started already with Rainbow Brite, so I'll focus on getting my left arm complete before I get more ink!
COMPLETED #26 It's National Tree week, and so I've bought a Holly tree to plant with the kids over the weekend, we can then record it in the Royal Record as a Jubilee tree, as it's native.
#27 Looking at how to go about learning to shoot pointy sticks, COMPLETED a taster Archery session for £20 in London -7th Jan 2013.
#28 Done - Angry Birds Maize Maze at Tulley's Farm with Rachael, Sam and the kiddos in September.
#29 Done - I have registered to steward the Moonwalk next May. If for some reason they have too many people volunteering, I'll offer to help at the Slutwalk - though it's usually a September event so there's a chance it would overlap with the Triathlon. Will work it out anyway.
#30 - Yay! That was fun, I should do it again.

Why do parents let their kids get fat?

Um. Ouch?!

I remember seeing this headline on the BBC news site on my birthday 2 months ago. And feeling a surge of, well, fear I guess. Though I felt angry, it was fear.
We are heading towards the first generation of children who will die younger than their parents. Childhood obesity is one of the most serious global public health challenges of the 21st Century, affecting 155m children worldwide. In the UK, the number of overweight children doubled in the 1990s. A third of UK children are at risk of obesity and it costs the country £4.2bn a year.
Ouch. Just. Ouch.

All the time I am hearing how childhood obesity is a mega issue now. The UK is the fattest country in Europe, and 1 in 3 of our children are overweight/obese. A staggering 20% of our 11 year olds are OBESE. Not overweight. Obese.

I have seen multiple posts on Facebook from parents of 4/5 year olds, who have been a part of the NHS Childhood Measurement Program. They are horrified to receive a letter home giving diet advice because their children are maybe 200g heavier than they 'ought' to be, according to BMI. I let myself believe that this was what was happening across the board. That the third of kids overweight were perhaps a lb or two heavier. That they were due a growth spurt.

Looking at the figures though. No. There are too many children, at just 5 years old, who are as obese as I am, for their age/height. That's not right.

Last night the BBC scared me again. "Childhood Obesity can be predicted at birth". For a while I thought that 'Big' families showed there must be a genetic factor in obesity. That there was an underlying condition causing the positive correlation between obese parents and their obese children. This article said no.

 "Only about one in 10 cases of obesity is the result of a rare gene mutation that affects appetite ....  looking at a few simple measurements, such as a child's birthweight and whether the mother smoked, was enough to predict obesity."

"The equation is based on data everyone can obtain from a newborn, and we found it can predict around 80% of obese children."

So, heart in mouth, I thought I'd go ahead and use the tool, to 'predict' the probability of obesity for my children.

At Birth Now Me healthy + Sam healthy
Seth 83.41% 42.58% 18.26% 5.22%
Kai 83.27% 50.02% 23.17% 6.45%
Maya 44.65% 23.17% 8.32% 2.03%
Anya 50.25% 27.41% 10.21% 2.53%

Um. Right.

"Doing it for the kids" never felt more real. Already the changes I've made have in my life near cut the probability of the same needing to be done for each of my children. This. Is. Happening.

My sweet, loving boys were living with 4/5 odds against them staying healthy. And my tiny, gorgeous girls were as likely to end up obese and in pain, as they weren't.

My heart actually aches at the thought. I DO NOT WANT THIS for my babies.

By next year, having this weight off, I can have MASSIVELY changed the outlook for them too. Not just in terms of them having a healthy mum, who can do things with them. But in the shape of THEIR probable futures.

And then I can show Sam how he can change their chances too. This is astounding, and really, really scary.

As it happens, I do know that as of right now, my kids are beating the odds. We keep track of their height on the kitchen wall, and they love to weigh themselves holding cats on the scales. So I know *exactly* where they are in terms of BMI, and WtHr (waist to height ratio).

Wednesday, November 28, 2012


Wednesday is such a weird day - I really do feel in limbo in the middle of the week - with 'activities' scheduled every weekday *but* Wednesday, it was a day where I used to sit in my PJs, eating vast amounts of crap and watching TV. While I made sure that the 'crap' was stuff I'd baked with the kids, and the TV was a new film/ recorded documentaries we talked about, it wasn't 'good' for my physical health.

Now Wednesdays are still 'mooching' days, but I get the house cleaned, the paperwork sorted. I sit close by and snuggle with the kids as they watch TV, and I get work done (paying bills, planning scout bits, meal planning/shopping, folding clothes, etc) I bake with them, but don't eat it. I'll make dinners from scratch and eat the 'correct' portion size.

Today I received my certificate for last weeks' biggest loser, and got on with finishing Rachael's, as well as printing out a hard copy of my Christmas Trees with the coloured in baubles for every pound lost on the 15 week lead up to New Year - my kitchen cupboards are a colourful, motivating sight for me now. Really a lot better than the 'fat photos' I put up a year or two back. That was just cruel, horrid idea.

Embracing being a MASSIVE LOSER.

Got the kitchen cleaned, and blitzed the oven. Did last weeks Nature Detectives work with the kids and then went for a walk to the village green to post bits, ran through muddy puddles with the halflings, and they LOVED that I did. Realised about 5 minutes into our run (down the alleyway that runs down the back of some allotments) that I was having fun, playing with the kids, not winded. Oy, that feels good. 

Still feeling tired and cold by late afternoon/early evening.. but figure that's less to do with *me* and more that it is winter, I am not hiding from it, but the dark evenings and colder temperatures are supposed to make us feel tired and hungry. I've bought myself a pressie to help me when I get the urge to snack early evening.

I *love* satsumas, I really do. Can't stand any other orange fruit. Though I love the taste of Clementines, the pips drive me bonkers. Tangerines are WRONG. Satsumas are the bestest ever. But if I buy them they languish at the bottom of the fruit bowl, unseen.

So I bought myself (for my 'thing in the kitchen to aid my healthy eating' 3 stone prize) a cupcake stand, for to hold my citrus fruit!

It's working, when I get the snackish feeling, I grab 2 of these and a pint of water, it keeps my hands and gob happy for 15 minutes.

Headed to the gym with my dad this evening, said he wanted to be quick as he's travelling tomorrow, so I went for it on the bike, and decided to try to 'catch up' after skipping some weights on Monday..

Cycle lvl 5 Around The World 20min 11.22km (10k - 17:58 PB)

Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Fly  50kg 5x12
Leg press 75kg 3x12
Leg extension 47.5kg 3x12
Adductor 35kg 5x12
Abductor 56kg 5x12

Was so HAPPY and so, so sweaty, to get that personal best for 10km, under 18 minutes felt so good.

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
10.4 miles

Dippy idea

After doing the initial test last week, I've not been in a rush to start the 150 Dips program. 

After a day of being busy, but only having walked a few miles, I felt a bit restless. Spent my running tome catching up with the kids' nature detectives bits, and planning for a nature walk and family swim over the next few days.

Tonight I am up late, looking at running events I hope to participate in next year, and got the itch to *do* something. Being that it's 2am, and I can't really shred without waking the whole building, and didn't fancy disappearing on the family for a run - I got on with it.

Week 1 Day 1 Level 3 : Total Reps - 58
Sets - 13, 15, 9, 9, (12+)
performed +5 on last set - Total Reps - 63

And breathe! Hope I can sleep now.

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
4.3 miles

Monday, November 26, 2012

5 weeks to go!

Got a text bright and early from Rachael, saying she'd lost a stonking 3lbs. Hopped on my scales and they wavered between 2.5 and 3lb off. Thought for a moment I might have 'won' this week, but the meeting scales decided not.. ;)

previous weight -190 BMI 32.6
current weight - 187.5 BMI 32.2
Loss - 2.5lb
% loss - 1.32%

Am thrilled, 2.5lbs off is ace, I'm more than halfway to a healthy BMI now and right on track to hit my minigoal at this rate, in just 5 weeks I could have escaped obesity. Pretty awesome.

It is this time of year that has proven to be difficult for me in the past. This time last year I was 192lb, by January I was 210lb again. The year before I was around the same weight, then 214lb come January 1st.

I need to stay focused, keep  tracking and active despite the winter dark, the cold outdoors, and the comfort food. Buying gym membership to last until Spring should help with that. I've also made sure all clothing in size 16/smaller, so I can't sit in a slack pair of joggers, eating away and pretending all is fine because the waistband isn't too tight.

At meeting today we were talking about how to stay focused over December. Claire suddenly grabbed us all paper and pens, and said to write down our current weights, then write down the result we'd have if we gained 9.5lb over the holidays.

not what I want to see in 2013
We talked about what would cause those gains, and how to stop it from happening. For many, like me, it would be that maybe we'd get caught out by eating over our propoints, some chocolate, or an extra glass of wine, or picking at the roasties, etc.. then we'd think "Ah, I've blown it now, may as well 'enjoy myself' properly" - something that I KNOW is daft, because I do not enjoy being stuffed, or gaining weight, and going over by 4-5 points doesn't 'blow' anything.

One lady then told us a quote that had stuck with her for years - I've heard variations on it before, but this particular analogy really works for me.

If I 'stumble' headfirst into a tin of chocolates, I'm not going to go and eat all the food. I will get back 'up' and run it off.

Went to the gym and had a quick workout, as we were planning on Aquafit & swimming in the evening.

Fitness test 5min 0.45 vo2 max 34.2 - average.
Treadmill 3km 25min

Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Leg press 75kg 3x12
Leg extension 47.5kg 3x12
Pull down 47.5 kg 1x12
Fly  50kg 1x12
Adductor 35kg 1x12
Abductor 56kg 1x12

Beavers was mad and noisy - only two more sessions until Christmas, and practicing their play - haha! Should be fun to watch in a couple of weeks' time!

Aquafit was a good workout, and then I swam 16 lengths (400m) in 20 minutes - which was my aim for New Years, as that's the super sprint distance. Really pleased to have that done - need to set myself a day where I will do all three parts (run, swim, cycle) inside an hour, then move on to training for the sprint distances.

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
7.2 miles

Sunday, November 25, 2012

"You look well"

Spent the day at my Nan's today, with my dad and the girls. Took along a granola bar, clementines and some ham - which was good because nothing my Nan had in was wheat free, except for chocolates!!

I'm always ready to be told how big I am, but today was different. My Nan said I looked well, younger, healthier. That was nice to hear, and I do FEEL that way, but nice to have someone see a noticeable change,  and one worth commenting on. I am going to hold onto it. I look healthier. I am healthier.

Felt really tired once home, even though it was only 4 pm, reckon being sat indoors with heating made me sluggish.

Ended up ordering Chinese as I fell asleep and woke at 7.30 to hungry hippo family. Ordered sweet and sour chicken and prawn crackers - for the kids. Special curry for Sam, and sweet and sour mixed vegetables for me - the sauce took me a full 2 propoints into my weekly allowance, but having 47 left, and earned 48 activity points this week, I think that'll be ok. ;)

Spent an hour looking online for ideas as to what to wear for Emma's party in a fortnight, seeing as my dress won't fit. Going through my wardrobe I found a couple of Hell Bunny tutus that look amazing together, some purple boots, a lace bolero, top hat and mask and corseted jacket. Spent £15 on eBay on a damask corset and lace tights to go with it all. Tried it on quickly with a smaller corset tugged about me to see how it'd look, I think I'm good to go. Cheered up massively, and I only ate 6 of the box of chocolates my Nan sent when I *could* have gone on a 'tired and nothing fits for the party, WAA!' bender. Yay.

31/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
walked - 1 mile.

and by the end of the day...

I saw a photo of myself, and didn't recognise me because I look 'normal', not the hugely, morbidly obese shape I still think that I am...

Despite the rain we trekked over to the garden centre to see the Reindeer and Huskies, then back and hung about the green until the light switch-on at 5pm. The kids shared a couple sticks of candy floss, and whizzed about on the fairground rides. £20 it cost for them to all have 2 rides and whirled sugar crap, Oy!

Got home and saw that my dad had put photos on facebook, looked at this one for a few seconds, before wondering who that was standing with Seth (green hat) - then clocked Anya holding... my (?)... hand. Is that ME? That normal looking person?! WOW.

Having seen the photo and taken in the body without judging 'me', I can really see how well I am doing physically. I am really, really thrilled that I look so 'right' - I'm standing straight, I look healthy and fine. There's no reason to think anything at all about that person. ^_^

I avoided eating any of the foods about - even the Hog Roast. Even the toffee apples. EVEN THE ARTISAN BREADS. Oh my, how I would have gone for those a few months ago!

Got home, bathed the mucky halflings and washed coats etc.. once Sam got home I felt KNACKERED. He brought chocolate, and I ate lots. Within my points, I made it dinner, and used remaining 9 that I'd saved as I didn't see anything special while out. An hour later and I had sugar crash, so with Sam's nudging, set out for a run.

All better ^_^ I feel really good for it, have had a bath and feel all looked after and nicely sleepy. Headed to my grandma's tomorrow, with the girls. Hoping that she will be less disappointed with me than usual, but if not, *I* am thrilled with me regardless, so that'll do. My nan likes to make jokes about my size, and then berate me for not eating the buffet lunch stuffs that she offers - hoping that having the wheat intolerance diagnosis will mean that she sees it as me having to decline, rather than slighting her. Will see soon enough!

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
walked/ran - 6.8 miles

Saturday, November 24, 2012

halfway to mini-goal check in

A month ago today I posted up 3 minigoals I wanted to hit for new year.

  1. To hit a BMI of < 30 
  2. To run 5k
  3. To fit into my size 14 jeans
I had 10 weeks to lose 23.5lbs, to go from running 2 minutes at a time to continuously run 5km, and to shed enough fat to be able to do up those jeans. Weighing on my scales this morning, I've lost another 2.5lbs, meaning that I have 12.5 left to lose over the next 5 weeks. 

I am running week 4 of the c25k now, and getting decent distances.

Thought I ought to see how the jeans were fitting - 

With 5 weeks left, I *am* halfway to my goals - how exciting ^_^

On the downside, my dress for my friends' party in a fortnight arrived today, it does not fit. And won't by the date either. I knew it was likely to be the case, an XL is a size 14 *and* Hell Bunny sizes come up small, but still it is a disappointment.

I have given myself time to work out an alternative though, and while I am bummed that I can't wear what I'd chosen, I'm not feeling disheartened at all. I am still obese, I am going to be for a little while. The pay off with weightloss/fitness isn't all immediate, but in a years' time I will feel the benefit of what I am doing today. 

Catching up with the biggest loser, then going to head out with the kids to see Reindeer and Huskies at the local garden centre, before mooching to the fair at the village green to see the lights go on. I've set aside 9pp in case there's anything tempting to eat there!

Friday, November 23, 2012

Trying to ignore my doubting eyes..

Looking in the mirror today, I caught a glimpse of what I think I must truly look like now. When I look in the mirror it's as if I'm seeing both my shape now, and that of me at 234lbs, overlaid. There's a blurry area all around me, and I see a morbidly obese me staring back. Occasionally, for a split second at a time, I see a fitter, leaner looking woman, then my eye wavers, and she's gone.

234 - size 24
190 - size 16
There is a difference, no? My eyes struggle to see it. Though I know there must be, the drop of 4 dress sizes and many inches lost, the weight on the scale down over 40lbs. The fact that I can run/cycle/lift so much more, when walking upstairs had me out of breath.. of course there's a difference. While I can feel it, I am finding it very hard to see it.

I feel happy, I know that I am fitter and healthier and feel so, so much better than I have in a long time. I need to let my head catch up, and not worry. For the most part I'm not. I'm aware that trusting my weirdo brain to see my body 'normally' isn't a clever plan.

Instead I am focusing on what I CAN do. Today I showed Seth dumbbell rows - 100 of them with 2kg weights. I showed Kai how to do a plank, and held two for 30 seconds. I took the kids to swimming, (Seth got certificates and moved up a swimming group for next term), I went to the gym and worked myself hard.

Then, I started the 150 tricep dips program, as I really do want lovely solid arms, not wobbly wings!

Initial test I managed 18 dips, so pretty poor - but then I think I have done exactly zero dips ever before in my life - going to attempt to do dips after running of a night - so hopefully I'll be able to do 150 (!!?!) consecutive dips in a few weeks. And have lovely shapely arms.

Cycle lvl 5 Around The World 20min  10.5km
Treadmill hill 12 10min 1.06km 47m

Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Fly  50kg 3x12
Leg press 75kg 3x12
Leg extension 47.5kg 3x12
Pull down 47.5 kg 3x12
Adductor 35kg 3x12
Abductor 56kg 3x12

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
walked/cycled - 10.8 miles

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Hang on a minute grrrl, why aren't you running?

So today was one of those hump days, the whether sucked. The kids were happy to stay in and read/game/draw, and I had cleaning to do.

By the evening I had got a lot done, but hardly moved, and felt quite stroppy.

As I scrolled through my Facebook feed, I saw a post from the Spartan Race page. Started me wondering when there would next be a Spartan sprint in SE England, and whether it would be something I could do..

The 5km Spartan Sprint will take place in 9 months' time. About 6 miles away from my home. I *have* to go. I need to.

It's already 50% full, I am going to gift myself a place once I am running 5k again. Looking at the c25k plan, if I run 3 times a week, I should be there by new year. To start 2013 by buying myself a spot in a Spartan race? THAT would feel awesome.

So, once we'd had dinner and the rain had calmed a little, I set out to run week 4, 3 runs of 4mins, 6mins, 4mins. I was a little nervous. I felt a bit tired and sulky, and haven't 'run' in a week or two. It was windy.. blah blah.

It felt great. I could do it, I felt that potentially I could have kept going to 5k. I hit 2.35 miles (75% of 5k) in 28 minutes. I am committing to running 3x a week now, and hitting 5k by the end of the year. I feel excited about where my body is right now. The difference since summer is beginning to hit me. I am halfway to where I want to be, and already I do feel really, really good. Rather than simply looking forward to being smaller/healthier, I am enjoying it right NOW.

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
ran/walked - 3.4 miles

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Something to aim for after new year

This morning I was up and ready for the presale online, to grab some tickets for the Muse stadium tour next summer.

Looking at the date, 26th May 2013, I realised that it's possible that I could be a 'healthy' weight by then, a gold member at weightwatchers. I'd need to lose 1.5lbs a week from NYE, but I'd do it. What a goal!!

Spent the rest of the day baking, and cleaning, and feeling sorry for myself as yet again, I have my period. 4 days off, and the bag is back. Seriously underwhelmed.

As I headed to the gym (after wolfing down a huge bowl of butterut squash soup) I wondered, who am I becoming?

When did I become the woman who goes to the gym while on her period? Who keeps working her body anyway? Who comforts herself with soup - homemade vegetable soup, instead of cake?

Wow. I like this woman. She feels GOOD.

Cycle lvl 5 Kilimanjaro 20min  10.37km
Treadmill hill 12 10min 1.05km 47m
Treadmill fittest 5min 0.45km 14m

Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Fly  50kg 3x12
Leg press 75kg 3x12
Leg extension 47.5kg 3x12
Pull down 47.5 kg 3x12
Adductor 35kg 6x12
Abductor 56kg 6x12

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
walked/cycled - 8.75 miles

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

3rd stone down

With my 3.5lb loss this week, I earned back my last butterfly, the threat of the shame and pain of tattoo removal is lifted. Whew. Also, I hit my 3rd stone off - means I get to buy my good self a little something to aid in my daily healthy living shizz.

At the gym yesterday I was told my direct debit hadn't been put through, so I owed the fees for Nov-Dec. I paid them off and was *then* able to make use of the 3 months for 2 offer, that I missed out on by days, after having the 2 weeks free with my first month.

It meant I paid £140 up front, but then I don't owe any more in gym fees until the beginning of March next year! I usually wouldn't be happy to part with that much at once, but decided to squeeze the budget, and make it my 3rd stone present to myself. ^_^

Today Sam was off work, so after walking to the train station to see him and the halflings off to Reigate (he took Kai to rugby) I went to visit a new friend met through Beavers. She's lovely, had a great hat over a cuppa, and was amazed at how fast the hours slipped past.

Then mooched over to Reigate, taking the opportunity to nip* into my tattooists on my way to my Sam's mum's. I showed Mike my ideas for my left sleeve, and after a giggle at my lack of any artistic talent and fabulously cheesy taste, we cracked on with starting the sleeve, going to go a character or two at a time, before shading it all and adding some floaty bits to make it cohesive.
*(just a quick 2.5 hour stop, ahem)

I gots me a fantabulous tattoooooo!

Back to the smallest I have weighed whilst being tattooed, and ouch, you do feel it more with less insulating material! Thankfully the front of the arm is fairly ouch-zone free, though I always get a weird numb-zingy pain near my elbow.

Isn't she lush?! I'm also going to have Cheer Bear (care bears) Michaelangelo (TMNT) Moomintroll (The Moomins) a My Little Pony (either applejack or seashell, I am undecided, ha!) added - as well as some rainbow brite stars, a moomin sun, and some Starbuddies, floating about.

Went for dinner with Sam's mum and brother, lovely roast, then home. I have to be up early tomorrow to pace excitedly waiting for pre-release Muse tickets for next May!!

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
walked - 3.4 miles

Monday, November 19, 2012

44 Pounds. 20kg. GONE

Went to weigh in this morning, hoping I'd pull a good number. I've stuck to plan so, so well this week, and wanted to drop over 1.5lbs to be back to 3 stone lost.

previous weight -193.5 BMI 33.2
current weight - 190 BMI 32.6
Loss - 3.5lb
% loss - 1.81%

Wooohooo. I have earned back all my butterflies, in another 12lbs (4-6 weeks) I'll be able to get my green. I *really* want to hit that before 2013. Just a couple more weeks I hope, and I'll have hit 50lbs off (6lb more to go).
Even more exciting, I am still on track to hit 'overweight' for NYE. 6 weeks to lose another 15lb, I know that if I keep on it I'll be there (or very, very close to it) I really want to stay on top of eating/training healthily over the Christmas period.

My '14 weeks to Christmas, lose a stone tree', 2nd tree nearly full - aiming to fill all but 2 baubles on the 3rd by NYE.

Today at meeting we spoke about deciding what we wanted for the Chrimbo/New Year week. Whether we want to lose, maintain, or are happy to have a gain. I *need* to stay on track. I need to keep feeding my body well, and using it HARD. I don't need to spend a day sat eating rubbish and sat doing nothing, just because it is Christmas. We are going to Sam's mums for Christmas Eve/Day, I am looking forward to time spent with extended family. I am going to go for a run early Chrimbo morning, take a pint of skim milk for me to use for tea. Make myself an omelette, and then fill up on veg at dinner.

Went to the gym after meeting, had been a 3 day rest since last session, so I knew I'd maybe be a little slower - still was all good.

Cycle lvl 5 Kilimanjaro 20min  10.55km (10k in 19:08)
Treadmill hill 12 10min 1.02km 46m

Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Fly  50kg 3x12
Leg press 75kg 3x12
Leg extension 47.5kg 3x12
Pull down 47.5 kg 3x12

Cut the weights a little short, as there was a girl messing about on the addutor/abductor, and I had less than an hour to get home, washed and dressed and fed and out to prep for Beavers.

Spent an hour down at the hut getting stuff ready for the evening group, then back home to complete prep and make dinner, before heading back out to the hut with Seth for Beavers. Then up to Aquafit. I swam 5 lengths too, going to add 2 lengths a week so I'm swimming 16 lengths (400m) by New Years - along with my 10km cycle and a 2.5km run, that will mean I'm managing a super sprint triathlon. Wahey. ^_^

29/29 ProPoints
1.5 litres
walked/cycled/swam - 14.7 miles

Sunday, November 18, 2012

6 week countdown

Only 6 weeks left of 2012! I'm hoping for a 3.5lb loss tomorrow to get me back on 'the line' on my fridge graph - after that a steady 2.5lb a week will get me to my goal.

Saturday was a quiet day, got housework done and baked some gluten free loaves for the week. In the evening I organised going to my friends house today.

We did some walking around London Bridge before heading to E's house, then spent a few hours there - my lot ADORE her family, and I really enjoy her company. Like Rachael, she's someone I feel really at ease with. After we left we mooched back home in time for the baked potatoes that Sam had put on, to be ready.

A while back, after her baby boy was born, I went to visit E with some jeans that were too small for me, at sizes 14-16, but would be kind post-natal wear for her. She has slimmed back down (and looked like a gorgeous fairy-sprite in a size 10 Joe Brown's dress) and so I had them to bring home with me.

They fit :) My lovely baggy H&M jeans, fit. I can ditch the size 18's for good. WHAT a way to end a happy weekend.

Sat -
30/30 ProPoints
1.5 litres
walked - 1.8 miles
Sun -
30/30 Propoints
1.5 litres
walked - 5.6 miles

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Planning ahead

I had a FANTASTIC day yesterday.

I was going to be out all day, with maybe a half hour turnaround at home to change after lunch. I'd planned my food the night before, although we hadn't pinned down dinner plans, I left myself a clear 16 ProPoints so that I'd have enough.

Made myself an omelette first thing and got ready to go up to The Royal Institution with Seth, to hear Dr Michael Leahy talk about virology and parasites. Lovely.

It was a really good lecture, Seth was fascinated and wanted to stay behind to chat with the speaker, which was ace. ^_^ Had a quick look around the building, and decided to do the museum next time we were up and could take our time.

Mama! This place is MONEY!
After escaping the pricey bathrooms we headed to Piccadilly to grab Starbucks. I've been ready, ready, ready for the red cups for ages now. Sat and pointed up my beloved Eggnog latte  a while back. While I was a little bit shocked to find out that the Venti Eggnog that I used to have one or two of a week (yes, extra large) were 16 ProPoints each 0_0 - the 6 ProPoints for a Short seemed a fair swap. My first eggnog of the season was gulped down walking across Green Park with the boy, very lovely.

Once we got to Croydon I used the opportunity to go and buy Seth a larger Beavers' polo, and myself a new leaders' one. The sizes for leaders are - xs-xxxxl, so picking a large (45" chest, needed!) and it being BIG  everywhere but the boobs felt good. Could have gone for a medium, but liked the extra room for a top underneath!

On a whim, went and got my nose pierced too, my septum keeper fell out a while back and I managed not to notice for a few days, it's pretty much closed itself now and I decided that I do prefer the nostril piercing after all, heh. Got a little titanium screw with an amethyst stud in. ^_^

Rushed back past Shakeaway so the boy could get a hot milkshake (made with blended Wispa and Bounty bars) and grabbed the bus home.

The grump face is his "do I go hot or not?" expression..

Then had 30 minutes to wash and dress and get out the door to head to Brighton. The trains were mullered, and the one I got onto was packed, but got me there for 6pm. Had a relaxed dinner with Rachael and her friend Gem. Got to eat my food slowly, without having to jump around and clean kids/fetch stuff,  had a fun time chatting too. Being that I am a *little* bit into Nandos, I knew my 1/4 chicken with sweet potato mash and side salad was 12 ProPoints, without having to check.. so just dug in, yum!.
Mooched over to the cinema, with a bar of Milka with Da'im to nibble, and sat down for 2 hours to watch sparkly vampires. Really enjoyed the film, it was better than I expected it would be, and felt good to see the last one. What am I going to do now there are no more Twilight films to look forward to? It's been 3.5 years of going 'oh, Cullens!' .. guess I'll have to hold out for the film adaptation of The Host? ;)

Whizzed back to the station by the lovely Rachael, meant I was in time for the fast train. Which was good as the trains were still a mess. There had been faults on the fast line, so I spent 35 mins chugging what should have been the last 10 minutes of track. Managed to walk up the hill fast though, and got in just before I turned into a pumpkin. :)

30/30 ProPoints
1.5 litres
8 miles walked

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Doing Squat

Decent nights sleep changes EVERYTHING. Ahhh. Head is being a bit kinder today, found a pack of Anadin in the cupboard, so took 2 first thing and have felt ok since.

Had a slow start to the day, got cleaning done and back on top of laundry again. Decided to wake my legs up (which still felt a bit stiff) with squats. Thought I'd see if I could still do 200, and I could. And FAST! Worked up a good sweat and really needed my breakfast once done.

Got out with the kids and jumped some puddles on our way to the Polling station, did my duty as a citizen and voted. Then went to fetch some ingredients for dinner.

Had to head to the gym tonight, as I won't be able to go tomorrow, busy day with a lecture for Seth in London in the morning, before I head to Brighton to meet with Rachael to go see the last Twilight film ^_^

After feeling so rough yesterday, I was nervous about working out hard. I've eaten well, my body has had rest, adequate water, good clean food. So I decided to go for it..

Threw myself into the cycling tonight, and got a new PB again. Whoot.

Cycle lvl 5 Kilimanjaro 20min  10.97km (10k in 18:33)
Treadmill hill 12 10min 1.01km 45m

Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Fly  47.5kg 3x12
Leg press 75kg 3x12
Leg extension 47.5kg 3x12
Abductor 56kg 3x12
Adductor 35kg (l5) 3x12
Pull down 47.5 kg 3x12

30/30 ProPoints
1.5 litres
walked/cycled - 9.78 miles

Wednesday, November 14, 2012


Oof, what a day.

I didn't sleep well. By the time my legs settled a bit and I got comfyish, the girls came into our bed. Maya couldn't settle and I was feeling crampy and achey. Then just after 6am Seth woke up and played his new PvZ game LOUDLY with Malachi.

I'd had about 4 hours sleep. Decided we need a new mattress, and realised my stretching yesterday must have been shit, because I was SO stiff and the DOMs were BAD.

Sam went off to work a couple hours later (yeh, again Seth, thanks for getting us up early mate.) and I settled into fixing breakfasts, dishing out vitamins etc, etc. Sam is away overnight tonight, so I could have a lazy day and not worry about being on time for anything, even dinner.

By midday I'd eaten all but 8 ProPoints.. so decided that the hald ring of chorizo I'd gobbled woul count as lunch, and set about getting stuff together so the kids could make their own pizza. Found a GF pizza dough recipe yesterday, and got Seth to help me make the dough.

Once the dough was ready I got the kids to make their own pizzas - gave them tomato puree, grated cheese, sweetcorn, sliced mushrooms, diced onion, bacon strips and sliced chorizo and let them have at it.

Happy Halflings...

By the time they'd finished lunch, I felt awful. Had a migraine, fever and felt dizzy and sick. Gave them the xbox and hid in bed. Felt really rough for hours, but the kids were ace, Seth sat playing on his iPod while the younger three played minecraft, and fetched them drinks/changed Kai's nappy/brought the phone for me if it rang. Seriously gorgeous 7 year old boy <3 p="p">
By 7pm I felt less dizzy sick, and the fever had passed. Managed to put together a snacky supper for the kids, and make myself a cheese and fruit dinner. The kids were really lovely and got themselves ready for bed (so I just had to dress Kai, and brush teeth and hair, and make drinks for bed.) They got themselves into bed and told each other stories so I could use my last bits of 'umph' to chuck a load of laundry on and load the dishwasher.

Have taken some more Anadin and am about to head to bed now I've turned the house off for the night. Feeling very grateful for children who are loving enough to support me a little when I'm struggling, and for a head that is healed enough that I turn to people for help, and not food now.

Plotting a day of library book returning, puddle jumping and evening gym tomorrow. Please dear head, stop stropping and come join the party.

30/30 ProPoints
1.5 litres
0.96 miles (the bare minimum required to maintain life in the house today)

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


Tuesday has been it's usual busy-ish self.

  • Get the bins out 
  • Sort the laundry
  • Clean the kitchen 
  • Clean the reptiles
  • Clean the bathroom 
  • Take in the food shopping, sort it away into cupboards 
  • Make list of anything I forgot that we need for the week
  • Get the kids ready and pack day bag
  • Get out of the door by 1120
Dropped Seth and the twins off at my mother in law's, then took Kai to Rugby, he's got 5 sessions left of the term now, and I think after New Year he'll have to stop - he's already a year above the upper age limit, and if he's going to be coming to Beavers, he'll still have that group/rules time.

Once I'd got the kids and RACED to the station, we headed up to Croydon to buy the few things that hadn't come with the shopping. 

Got in around 4pm and I was TIRED. After a weekend of slobbing about and feeling pants, I'd had a fairly busy day and a bit.

Munched on a chorizo ring to keep me fuelled up and awake, made dinner for the kids and Sam, and once he was in headed to the gym.

I was tired.
I was alone in the gym.
I could have just gone easy.

But I didn't ^_^ - found this on Strong Lola (either the blog, or her FB page) a while ago and saved it to my phone. And I thought of it and worked out with it in mind. For that hour I had an imaginary friend  murderous twin, and she wasn't going to catch me.

Cycle lvl 5 Kilimanjaro 20min 10.73km (10k in 18:46)
Treadmill hill 11 10min 1km (35m cimbed)

Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Fly  47.5kg 3x12
Leg press 75kg 3x12
Leg extension 47.5kg 3x12
Abductor 56kg 3x12
Adductor 35kg (l5) 3x12
Pull down 47.5 kg 3x12

Now I'm in bed but I can feel my legs are still tight, and so WARM. I really worked them out. Poor strong things. ;)

30/30 ProPoints
1.5 litres
cycled/walked - 13.59 miles

Strong when weakened

It has been a hardish weekend.

On Friday I got some not-great news, stuff I'm not at liberty to share here, but the kind of heavy life-issue stuff that has previously seen me lose the plot entirely. Talking to friends about it online, I posted this:

"Going to shake off the sinking feeling and crack on and enjoy the afternoon ....
 I've let the hard overwhelm me before now though, and that sucked, I'm stronger and not going to waste life by letting that happen again."

And I did just that. Though I was feeling the weight and worry, I didn't eat it, just acknowledged it, and continued living. My ability to do much at all was hugely hampered by my period, it's been a really heavy one and I'e felt very tired and hungry (but for crap) all weekend. Still, I stuck to my propoints, just using 4 weeklies Sunday night for a Daim bar.

Wanted to skip weigh in today, as I was expecting maybe to maintain despite sticking to it, due to the bloating.

previous weight -195 BMI 33.5
current weight - 193.5 BMI 33.2
Loss - 1.5lb
% loss - 0.77%

Really happy with those 1.5lbs, going to really push this week for a bigger loss next week, get me back into the right pace to hit my goal for New Year. I have 18.5lbs to lose in 7 weeks.

We were doing a kind of  'see where we're at, and be positive' thing at meeting today.. 

Spent the afternoon getting bits sorted ready for Beavers this evening. Brought in bits so they could act out the story of Rama and Sita, and create some Rangoli, decorate candles etc. Had to skip my usual Monday gym session in order to get it all done, but that's ok as I'm all out of routine this week anyway. Need to gym Tues/Thurs instead of Wed/Fri. 

Did aquafit though. My poor legs are not recovered from the cramps. Ouch but good. Feel good and sore now drinking a cup of tea. ;)

30/30 ProPoints
walked/swam - 6.9 miles 

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Weaker than I wanted weekend

Friday. Ugh.

Was meant to go to Brighton to my friends' flat-warming. Barely managed to get Seth to his swimming lesson and home. So cranky, and bloated and in pain.

30/30 propoints
1.5 litres
staggered - 1.7 miles

Saturday - a day of paperwork and sofa sitting. IBS kicked in really good as well, not had a period like this in a while :(

30/30 ProPoints
1.5 litres
Dragged self around the flat - 1.4 miles

Remembrance Sunday today. Felt a bit less like warmed through zombie, got down to the church and Seth was pike as standard bearer. Kids and Sam went over to Reigate in the afternoon while I had a planning meeting at the pub (which had laid on food/drinks for uniformed lot post service, I didn't take anything but a couple of satsumas, wahey!)
Got home and caught up with the housework, cleaned kids room, laundered stuff and did food shop.

35/30 ProPoints
1.5 litres
3.72 miles

Thursday, November 08, 2012


Today I have felt so tired all day. Same yesterday. By late afternoon I've been wanting to kip. I keep feeling bored-but-tired and cranky. I'm bloated and feel woozy and heavy, but not ill. I want to eat. Chocolate. And drink latte, and sit on the sofa with a rug.

Clocked that maybe, just maybe, I'm able to notice the pmt symptoms, because I'm well enough now that this isn't normal. Oh yay! and *eyeroll*

Went to gym in the evening (where the beast period finally attacked - right in the middle of leg press)

Cycle lvl 5 Kilimanjaro 20min  10.37km (10k in 19:20)
Treadmill hill 11 10min .97km mts 34

Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Fly  47.5kg 3x12
Leg press 75kg 3x12
Leg extension 45kg 3x12
Abductor 56kg 3x12
Adductor 35kg (l5) 3x12
Pull down 45 kg 3x12

Now going to go sulk with some ham and a blanket.....

30/30 propoints
1.5 litres
walked/cycled - 8.36 miles

Gluten Free Bread

The ciabatta loaves I made from the mix yesterday were, erm. Fun? Tasty but the fridge overnight killed the yeast. Really confused by that recipe. So we have very crunchy flatbread, that warmed through with spread taste lush, but aren't bouncy, crusty bread like I wanted.

Had a quick look to find more recipes, and came across a gluten free ciabatta recipe that doesn't use yeast.
Had all the ingredients in the cupboard, so gave it a go.

  • 10 sprays low cal oil spray - 2p
  • 225g gluten-free plain flour -38p
  • 4 tsp baking powder - 10p 
  • ¼ tsp xanthan gum - 3p
  • 1 egg- 21p 
  • ½ tsp sea salt flakes
  • 250-275ml warm water

  • OR

  • 10 sprays low cal oil spray - 2p
  • 225g gluten-free plain flour -38p
  • 4 tsp baking powder - 10p 
  • ¼ tsp xanthan gum - 3p
  • 1 heaped tsp Orgran egg replacer, whisked w/ 2 tbsp water & 1tbsp rice milk - 21p 
  • ½ tsp sea salt flakes
  • 250-275ml warm water

  • I made it with egg, as no egg replacer (or rice milk) in. Made 2 loaves, they cost £1.50 in ingredients for both and took 45 minutes start to finish. A loaf made up is 24 propoints, so not too bad.

    Going to try one once Sam gets in from London. Yum

    Wednesday, November 07, 2012

    humpday put to good use

    Woke up tired. You know those days when you've slept well enough, you've had an extra snooze even because the kids slept in. You're warm enough, don't need a pee... but just getting up takes too much effort.

    That was me this morning. Flailed about for twenty minutes trying to put a fruit and flapjack breakfast in front of the kids. Made them drinks and sorted vitamins and then hid in the bathroom. After a few minutes I realised it stank of cats in there, found an empty upturned litter tray that one of them (Jasper) had weed in a few times, cleaned that out and then did the whole bathroom. Once the smell of bleach hit my nostrils I was awake and off.

    Cleaned through the kitchen, got laundry hung and more on, dishwasher cleaned and filter washed out. Then cracked on with the humpday food making session..

    • Baked a tray of banana flapjack. 
    • Prepared dough for ciabatta loaves. 
    • Made choco-banana seed muffins. 
    • Got a ham on to slow cook with ginger, to go with the loaves for tomorrow.
    • Made a gluten free Quiche!

    I have never made quiche before, and was a bit nervous. But I got the halflings to help me and it turned out really well!

    Using a recipe I found on BBC goodfood - Gordon Ramsay's Rocket, Mushroom & Bacon Quiche I substituted gluten free flour. 
    Using the ingredients listed, the quiche would be 150 propoints. I tweaked it, using semi skimmed milk, cheddar, low fat creme fraiche and a low cal spray to cook the veg/in the flan case. Using the spray instead of 6 tablespoons of olive oil saved 18 pp alone!
    My version was 96 propoints for the whole quiche. Cut into 12 servings it's only 8 propoints a serving ^_^ and really yummy.

    By about 4pm I felt really tired again. Sat down with a cup of tea and nearly dozed off as the kids played. Had to get up and pep-talk myself into doing something to stay awake. Drew fireworks pictures with black paper and chalk with the smalls, and decided that tonight I *had* to do a run, regardless of whether at gym or not. My body was *wilting* from lack of activity.

    By the time Sam got home at 7pm, I had a headache coming. Took some Anadin with dinner (YUM) and chugged a pint of water.. was ready for the gym at 8pm, and my dad said he wanted to be quick so I was even more determined to do my c25k run and weights, and do cardio circuit tomorrow morning.

    5min vo2 max 34.2 - .45km
    Treadmill c25k w4 20min - 2.41km

    Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
    Fly  47.5kg 3x12
    Leg press 75kg 3x12
    Leg extension 45kg 3x12
    Abductor 56kg 3x12
    Adductor 35kg (l5) 3x12
    Pull down 45 kg 3x12

    I feel SO much better post gym. Headache is gone, I feel awake and capable again. Phew. Need to manage my energy better - if I feel low, MOVE.

    30/30 propoints
    1.5 litres water
    walked/ran - 3.78 miles