Weird day today. I am still feeling weird about it.
I am ill. I have cystitis, and it hurts. It's meaning I get less sleep, and my body is not properly relaxed.
I am tired. Less sleep + busy week + basic job of being a mum.
I am cold. Because it IS cold. And instead of eating hearty pies and casseroles and chocolates and roasted EVERYTHING. I am tracking and eating high protein and working out 5-8 times a week.
So. Mid morning I had not yet planned lunch, and decided that, actually, I really wanted a big bowl of flapjack mix. I had oats left from making the family's weekly traybakes, and so I made it. Then sat and ate half of it.
At lunchtime I ate more, with an apple. Instead of my planned lunch.
At 5pm I realised that I needed to track having eaten the amount I had, before I ate the last 1/4. I worked out the ProPoints value of it. 58 for the whole mix. 0_0
So I ate the last 1/4, and decided that was dinner. I had gym later, so could feed the family whatever they wanted (Roast chicken it turned out) and then head out to gym earlier.
OK, so I ate a large amount. But it wasn't a binge. It didn't feel like a binge. I didn't mind sharing it with the girls. I didn't hide it. I measured it and made a mindful choice to eat it. I put it away when full each time. I noted feeling physical hunger before I ate, and no hunger once finished. I didn't feel any desire to find any other foods to eat as well, even though I have ingredients to make cakes/bread etc in. Didn't cross my mind until going through my binge behaviours just now.
Also, the volume of food was not bigger than a regular days' volume of food. It was just VERY high carb (so high propoints) for me.
I have felt like I should be cross with myself, or guilty. But am not, not quite. I feel better for eating it, my energy levels are back up. I went to the gym and worked out, my body is battling this infection.. and that's *why* weightwatchers plan has weekly points. Using them is fine. I am doing *fine*. In fact, I am losing a little too fast the last month, a slower week would not be a bad thing.
I was very tempted to not blog about this. Now I have I am feeling the guilt dissipate. That would have been a dodgy behaviour holding me back.
Gym was ok. Felt really weak for cardio. Just didn't have the fire there to push with. Hoping in a few more days I'll be better and able to crack on. Going to attempt to get out for a run over the weekend too, Leicester is good for flat and interesting routes. Am also planning to not drink alcohol at the party. Aside from the weightloss stuff, I can't take the risk that it'll make the pain that much worse if I dehydrate, and after spending the time/money to get to be there, I'd like to stay reasonably sober and catch up with people I don't get to see nearly enough of.
Cycle lvl 10 cascades 70rpm 5min 1.75km
Treadmill hill 5 15min 1.55km
Cycle level 5 cascades 100rpm 10min 4.6km
Shoulder press 25kg 3x12
Fly 50kg 3x12
Leg extension 47.5kg 3x12
Adductor 35kg 3x12
Abductor 56kg 3x12
Pulldown 45kg 3x12
28/28 ProPoints (and ALL 49 weeklies)